lulu1974

I just wanted to write about this once. As today I start practicing not thinking about him but myself.
Yesterday I did get some closure from him. Before the divorce battle fighting. He did tell me he regretted till this day that when I came to see him a few months ago to talk to him instead he drove away like a little boy and had his cousin call me and tell me off accusing me of being a stalker and ****** wife.
And I was proud of myself when he started getting so angry with me bout the new divorce terms, I wrote back and said, I understand your anger. I really do. This is how I felt after you committed fraud, went to rehab twice and still kept falling off the wagon and cheated on me. I told him yes this is how angry I felt and you couldnt understand. Not sure that he processed that but I got to write that to him.
So that is all the closure I will get from him.
Today is the start of my new life..
Interview in a few hours..
Hugs

tpen

Good luck in interview Lulu.

ItsmeAlice

Today is the start of my new life..
Interview in a few hours..


A new life can start quietly or with great fanfare. It matters not necessarily in how it begins but that it finally makes it's first tentative steps forward.

What a wonderful way to start but with the prospect of something new on the horizon.

Good luck in the interview!!!

Alice

stella27

good for you, Lulu.
I just read "Getting Past your Past" and she says that closure doesn't come from THEM. It comes from within YOU.
So if you are done, then that's all the closure you will ever get.

Good luck!

kittykitty

good luck in your interview!!!

gns

Good luck at the interview!!!

Summerpeach

you're going to do well, you're a strong woman.
When I was in this stage of closure, I just took life hour by hour. You'll make it and eventually these hours add to days, months and then all of a sudden you feel OK :-)

good luck

lulu1974

well i have no idea how the interview went and not sure its a good fit for me. but it doesnt matter. just being there and talking to people was so good for me. didnt think of him once. thought of only myself. i love it. good times ahead. gotta keep myself busy. i only get one life. and i need to stop making excuses for all he has done. sometimes i tend to want to rationalize it but this is reality. my husband has ****** morals and has proven that time and time again. that wont change.

hugs
Lulu

TakingCharge999

Keep looking for more interviews, dont lay all your eggs in one basket.

Focusing in ourselves is so great I often go "WTF haven't I done this before?????"

I have been able to let go when I remember being an addict is bad enough. And that it doesn't matter, the judgment of others- no one else was in my shoes. And now I trust my gut, my feelings my experience.. no one has to agree, no one has to approve and no one has to show a green flag that says "OK"..

Congrats!!

lulu1974

Yes I have another one tomorrow. And even if I have to go back to my old job I am getting stronger. Ever since I filed for divorce it just feels right. I feel I have mypower back. And I had to stop justifying what my stbxah was doing. He is just a world class ahole. I know he is an A but the things he has done are horrible. One I hope to forgive him but I never want to speak to him or see him again. I know I will in court but by then I will be so much healthier.
And you are right..I do think to myself..why didnt I do this sooner? Its about me now and I am so proud!
Thanks for your kind words..
Hugs

transformyself

Yes! Practice makes perfect.

Hey, got a joke for you. What does a codependant see at deaths door?
The Alcoholics life passes before her eyes.
That ain't gonna be me Baby. Keep thinking about YOUR life Lulu. Not his.