BeautifulLife

Hi, all:

I'm new on the board and didn't see an introductions thread, so I just thought I'd introduce myself. I'm Lisa and I'm an alcoholic. My DOS is 2/20/2008.

I've been reading posts here and there for a few days and it seems like a great community of those in recovery.

Anyway, glad to be here!

CarolD

Congratulations on your recovery....

Welcome......

Dee74

welcome to SR Lisa!

D

yeahgr8

Lisa

MahiMahi

Hi Lisa,

Welcome to SR, there are so many great people here on this site. Congrats on your 2+ years that is awesome, what an accomplishment. If you dont mind me asking what is your secret to your success, new hobbies, meetings? What has helped you the most? I am looking ahead and I have no clue what 2 years sober will feel like.

Thanks,
MahiMahi

BeautifulLife

Thanks for the warm welcome! I'm so grateful for the way things are now.

Mahi, the most important things I did, even when I couldn't stop drinking after picking up enough desire chips at AA meetings to make a belt, I went to meetings every day, sometimes twice a day, I got a sponsor, and once I was able to stay sober 24 hours, I got to work on the steps. I had a slip 2 weeks in when my husband was out of town on business, which was/is a big trigger for me. I went right back to a meeting the next day and picked up another desire chip.

I was really, REALLY angry and depressed when I got sober. No one made me do it. No one, except my daughter, even knew I had a problem. I drank in secret toward the end, but it was madness. I lived in terror of "the yets", things I knew were coming down the pike if I kept drinking. I just couldn't take the insanity and fear anymore and God gave me the gift of desperation.

I immersed myself in AA and when I had 60 days, I went to a retreat with my husband for AA and Al-Anon. We had such a blast and met so many new people. Recovering alcoholics are even more fun than practicing alcoholics. It was the best time and once I knew I could have fun sober, that helped me keep my resolve.

So in summary, my suggestions (which I'm sure have been mentioned on this site quite a lot already!) are:

• Go to meetings (90 meetings in 90 days is a great start). Get a phone list and if you feel like drinking, pick up the phone and call another alcoholic, preferably of the same gender.
• Get a sponsor, even a temporary one.
• Work the steps (I'm still trying to get through them, I had a couple of sponsor changes over the last 2 years and am on my 2nd 4th step now)
• Stick with the "winners"; hang out with those in the program who have what you want.
• Be of service: Volunteer to make the coffee, greet newcomers, set up or clean up before and after a meeting, just service work. You will feel great.
• Socialize with those in recovery; make friends. I've had lots of friends in my life, but not friends like these.
• Every day, first thing in the morning, ask your Higher Power to keep you sober that day. At the end of the day, thank your HP for keeping you sober.

Just marinate in recovery. Throw yourself into it. Put it first before anything else, just like we used to do with our drinking. We always had time and found a way to do that!

I'm just a "toddler" in my sobriety. Still so much to learn and so far to go, but then, that never stops. Progress not perfection, right?

topspin

Welcome Lisa,


You experience and insights will be a great addition and service to the family here at SR !

Keep checking in, Mark

MahiMahi

Thanks for sharing Lisa, it sounds like you have planted some great seeds that have already grown into some amazing trees. 5 stars on that......I tried meetings but never really got into it. I would get anxiety attacks just thinking about going to a meeting. Well that was early in my recovery and I was full of negative thoughts, anger, anxiety etc. I guess now that I am more at peace with myself I should give it another try as it has worked for so many people.

least

Welcome to SR! I'm glad you joined the family!

Almath

Hi Lisa!

A very warm welcome to SR - you are a real inspiration to me and thank you so much for sharing your experience and advice with us

Almath

dkayvins125

Hi and welcome, its a great site.
Dean

Charmie

welcome to soberrecovery!

BeautifulLife

I understand your feelings about AA. I have a long story about my sobriety, but I won't get into all that. I am an AA/CA "re-tread". I had been in the program twice before over a very long period, but decided to go out and do more research both times. I developed resentments against the program and the people there. Even coming back, I especially had disdain for the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. I thought the way it was written was so dated and because the stories where not exactly mine, I thought it was crap. Not saying that's your story, but it's just what happened to me.

What really helped me coming back and trying it again was the HOW of the program:

Honesty (I was brutally honest in meetings and with other AA's, even when I was so ashamed of what I was saying, I thought I would die)
Open-mindedness (I listened to what was suggested. I was so angry and irritable, it didn't always take. But I was so miserable, I just kept going back, hoping it would get better, being reassured by others that if I just didn't drink that day, it would.)
Willingness (I was willing to go to any lengths to stay sober. They could have told me to stand on my head and recite the alphabet backwards and I would have done it. I was just ready for the insanity to stop.)

I never let the shame of "failure", drinking again, keep me out of those rooms. It took what it took. I'd just keep showing up and picking up another chip, embarrassment and all.

I went to lots of meetings and, therefore, went to lots of meetings where I didn't like the people, the format of the meeting, the topic, the coffee, etc. But I just kept going. I went to lots of different meetings and didn't stay away from one particular meeting just because my first experience there wasn't all I thought it should be. These people were sober, serene, and even joyful. I was dry and miserable. I knew they knew some kind of trick to doing this deal.

We have to remember, we are self-centered people and we're used to getting things our way, at least in the way of self-medicating. When we try something else and it's not magical right away, we say, "Well, screw it! That didn't work!" And that's okay. As long as we don't stay in that frame of thought.

My suggestion would be to try AA or any other program where people are in recovery, i.e. absitnent from alcohol & drugs, and just hang out and soak it up for a while. I know countless people who hated AA for quite some time until they had more time under their belt and had had some time to really listen to things for a while.

Again, not saying this is your story. Just some thoughts and observations (some my own) about not taking to AA right away.

Now that I'm in it, my head has cleared, and my body has slowly healed from all I did to it with alcohol, it's a little easier to look back and see it all as it really was.

CAPTAINZING2000

welcome to the site

HumbleBee

Welcome, Lisa! There's alot of wonderful wisdom and support here to share and explore. Great to have you with us!

Love your comment marinate in recovery - well put!

MahiMahi

Hi Lisa

That is very similar to my story regarding AA. It just didn't seem to fit in what I thought was my recovery equation. Now that you have put some more light on the subject I definatly feel different about how I will approach making it to meetings. I will give it another try and take all of your advice, starting with the HOW.

Thanks so much for sharing what worked for you.

Mahi

BeautifulLife

I am honored that you would find anything I have to say useful, Mahi. If I could suggest one more thing that might help, even if you never go back to AA, see if you can find an AA speaker CD by Earl H. (Hightower). He told his story at a CA convention in the UK back in 2004. His story is phenomenal and I hear some of him in you and me. He's a great speaker, extremely humorous(not cheesy-funny, just alcoholic-addict funny), and he works a great program and has amazing peace. I love his story and I love how he shares about working the steps. I've listened to that CD over and over, on and off, for 2 years and I hear something new everytime I listen to it.

So not to plug a particular site, but I'm sure if you google Earl H. AA speaker, a bunch of stuff will pop up. The specific CD I have is called Living Life, Earl H. and, like I said, it was originally recorded in 2004 at a CA convention in the UK. Should only cost $5-7 at most recovery CD sites. Well worth the money! I look forward to hearing about your journey.

BeautifulLife

Found it on a site that was actually mentioned on this site!

I downloaded it as an mp3 and it's free. Fantastic.

XA-Speakers - The lights are on!

Kick back when you have a little time and just listen to his story. It is awesome!

MahiMahi

Cool thanks Lisa, I downloaded it and will put it on my ipod, after dinner tonight I will check it out. I am doing really good as far as cravings go but who is to know what the future will bring. Now when I think I might need a drink I will have something I can instantly listen to.

SecretLife

Finally someone new here has rather long posts, like I have! LOl. I'm new here, too.

But seriously, if you notice the amount of thank you's, you know people are reading, whether or not they post a reply. You can know you are appreciated for even the longest posts... people here REALLY care! (and the best part is YOU could be helping others, just by posting details they just might NEED for that given day...)

Keep posting, keep reading.
This is a GREAT site!
I'm glad you found it.
I'm glad I found it, too.