Now what?
today4me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 311
Now what?
Background: I was in a long distance relationship 5 hours away from XAGF. Was trying to get a job there for 10 months.
I came to work today and opened an email sent to my work email address from a person whom I had contacted looking for a job 6 months ago. The email notified me of new job opportunity. This is the second email from a business colleuge. The first was an email 3 weeks from another person I had visited with 4 months ago notifying me of another position, which I passed on since it was two days after I ended the relationship with XAGF.
My thoughts are racing everywhere now as I had given up looking due to ending the relationship, which occured 3 weeks ago. However, in the last year I have looked, applied for, interviewed and did not get the job 3 times. Now I get contacted? My gut feeling when I read it, was hmmmm great why are you doing this God? I am done, why now?
So confused about what is going on. All I hear when I pray from HP is "Patience". What is the purpose of now getting job prospects from people I hardly now encouraging me to apply. Is this HP working? ARggggggggg.
I came to work today and opened an email sent to my work email address from a person whom I had contacted looking for a job 6 months ago. The email notified me of new job opportunity. This is the second email from a business colleuge. The first was an email 3 weeks from another person I had visited with 4 months ago notifying me of another position, which I passed on since it was two days after I ended the relationship with XAGF.
My thoughts are racing everywhere now as I had given up looking due to ending the relationship, which occured 3 weeks ago. However, in the last year I have looked, applied for, interviewed and did not get the job 3 times. Now I get contacted? My gut feeling when I read it, was hmmmm great why are you doing this God? I am done, why now?
So confused about what is going on. All I hear when I pray from HP is "Patience". What is the purpose of now getting job prospects from people I hardly now encouraging me to apply. Is this HP working? ARggggggggg.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
Hmm, interesting. Definitely something from HP.
How about this: what if you quietly looked into continuing your application process for those jobs? What would happen if one of them offered you a position? Would you be interested in moving? Just because your XAGF lives in a city doesn't necessarily mean you cannot live there yourself...
Perhaps also--if you are not at all interested in relocating, this is an opportunity for you to truly close the door on that chapter of your life.
Food for thought...
How about this: what if you quietly looked into continuing your application process for those jobs? What would happen if one of them offered you a position? Would you be interested in moving? Just because your XAGF lives in a city doesn't necessarily mean you cannot live there yourself...
Perhaps also--if you are not at all interested in relocating, this is an opportunity for you to truly close the door on that chapter of your life.
Food for thought...
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,872
I would ask that you question your motives for taking a job in the city where she lives. It's understandable that you would do so if the two of you were still together, but since you aren't, is there really any reason for you to relocate or change jobs? If you are unhappy with your current job, looking for another would make sense, but looking for one in your own city would be natural. If you were only doing it to be close to her, is there really any need now? I'm just thinking that you might be reading more into this than is there, and if you still want to pursue jobs in her town, what are your true motivations for doing so?
today4me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 311
I will wait a day to hear more replies as you both are right. I also need to pray about and give it to God, not fret. Below is correspondence between XAGF and myself when I ended the relationship.
Me........Is there anything I, or we can do to forgive and heal that part of us. I want closeness.
Her reply.....[I]I feel like I’ve put a wall in front of my heart. I also feel like I can’t trust you not to share my personal things. It just feels like we have so much baggage and can’t work on things because of the distance. I know you disregard the distance issue but it is one of my obstacles.
Me........Is there anything I, or we can do to forgive and heal that part of us. I want closeness.
Her reply.....[I]I feel like I’ve put a wall in front of my heart. I also feel like I can’t trust you not to share my personal things. It just feels like we have so much baggage and can’t work on things because of the distance. I know you disregard the distance issue but it is one of my obstacles.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Maybe I'm the nonromantic one but here's what I see:
You applied for jobs.
You are qualified, so two of them responded positively.
Only you can decide whether you want to relocate five hours to a city that -- if you hadn't had a gf there -- you probably would never have moved to.
You don't have a gf there now, and it sounds from her words like she has moved on.
Do you want to live in that city? If you'd never met her, would you uproot yourself and move there?
I'm very pragmatic when it comes to jobs and where I live. Plus, the thought of moving geographically closer to a situation that is tormenting me gives me a shudder.
Sleep on it, tpen, for sure. But I personally wouldn't be looking for a big cosmic meaning here, like "HP is giving me a sign that if I move there she will magically come back to you".
From what you've told us about her, she is a dishonest and untrustworthy person who will likely cause you great suffering, because the two of you don't share the same moral values.
Just my unromantic observations.
You applied for jobs.
You are qualified, so two of them responded positively.
Only you can decide whether you want to relocate five hours to a city that -- if you hadn't had a gf there -- you probably would never have moved to.
You don't have a gf there now, and it sounds from her words like she has moved on.
Do you want to live in that city? If you'd never met her, would you uproot yourself and move there?
I'm very pragmatic when it comes to jobs and where I live. Plus, the thought of moving geographically closer to a situation that is tormenting me gives me a shudder.
Sleep on it, tpen, for sure. But I personally wouldn't be looking for a big cosmic meaning here, like "HP is giving me a sign that if I move there she will magically come back to you".
From what you've told us about her, she is a dishonest and untrustworthy person who will likely cause you great suffering, because the two of you don't share the same moral values.
Just my unromantic observations.
today4me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 311
Originally Posted by Learn2Live 
In what way do you suspect this may be your HP working? Working toward what?
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
This is where one leaves the heart in the other room...
Is the job what you pursue professionally? Do you like the city? Are you OK knowing you may run into her with a new boyfriend in the supermarket? Are you OK seeing them next to you in a semaphore?
I actually moved to another city to be with who is now XABF. And I decided to stay in my job. Because I like this city, quality of life is better than my home city and the pay is better.
Whatever you do, do it for YOUR CAREER and well being. For all you know she is another stranger. Its dangerous if you think "she is a factor" when she shouldn't be in this decision. Or any other decision that concerns YOU..
All the best
Is the job what you pursue professionally? Do you like the city? Are you OK knowing you may run into her with a new boyfriend in the supermarket? Are you OK seeing them next to you in a semaphore?
I actually moved to another city to be with who is now XABF. And I decided to stay in my job. Because I like this city, quality of life is better than my home city and the pay is better.
Whatever you do, do it for YOUR CAREER and well being. For all you know she is another stranger. Its dangerous if you think "she is a factor" when she shouldn't be in this decision. Or any other decision that concerns YOU..
All the best
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
PS the stress of running into an ex, with/without partners, in social/job related events, going for milk to the store, walking, paying the electricity bill- especially if it is a small town- etc. etc., takes a HUGE toll.
today4me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 311
Originally Posted by IamSaved
tpen, did you ever think this has nothing to do with HP, but perhaps the evil one tempting you to believe more lies?
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: rural west
Posts: 1,375
Great questions from above:
Is the job what you want to pursue professionally?
Do you like the city?
Are you OK knowing you may run into her with a new boyfriend in the supermarket?
Are you OK seeing them next to you in a semaphore?
did you even WANT the JOB, or was it motivated purely on the LOCATION?
Do you want to live in that city?
If you'd never met her, would you uproot yourself and move there?
is there really any reason for you to relocate or change jobs?
If you were only doing it to be close to her, is there really any need now?
and if you still want to pursue jobs in her town, what are your true motivations for doing so?
Will you share your answers?
Is the job what you want to pursue professionally?
Do you like the city?
Are you OK knowing you may run into her with a new boyfriend in the supermarket?
Are you OK seeing them next to you in a semaphore?
did you even WANT the JOB, or was it motivated purely on the LOCATION?
Do you want to live in that city?
If you'd never met her, would you uproot yourself and move there?
is there really any reason for you to relocate or change jobs?
If you were only doing it to be close to her, is there really any need now?
and if you still want to pursue jobs in her town, what are your true motivations for doing so?
Will you share your answers?
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Just saying what my gut tells me. I don't have answers just wanted to put this out there. Thanks for replying.
today4me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 311
Originally Posted by FindingPeace1
Great questions from above:
Is the job what you want to pursue professionally?
Do you like the city?
Are you OK knowing you may run into her with a new boyfriend in the supermarket?
Are you OK seeing them next to you in a semaphore?
did you even WANT the JOB, or was it motivated purely on the LOCATION?
Do you want to live in that city?
If you'd never met her, would you uproot yourself and move there?
is there really any reason for you to relocate or change jobs?
If you were only doing it to be close to her, is there really any need now?
and if you still want to pursue jobs in her town, what are your true motivations for doing so?
Will you share your answers?
Is the job what you want to pursue professionally?
Do you like the city?
Are you OK knowing you may run into her with a new boyfriend in the supermarket?
Are you OK seeing them next to you in a semaphore?
did you even WANT the JOB, or was it motivated purely on the LOCATION?
Do you want to live in that city?
If you'd never met her, would you uproot yourself and move there?
is there really any reason for you to relocate or change jobs?
If you were only doing it to be close to her, is there really any need now?
and if you still want to pursue jobs in her town, what are your true motivations for doing so?
Will you share your answers?
Ok running into her? At this point, no.
Yes
Motivated by location
If I never met her, no I would not move there
No need to move closer to her now, patience is necessary
True motivations are to be closer to her and to start over in a new environment since I feel where I'm at is a transition, temporal place.
Thanks everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
Just a thought, could your HP be giving you an opportunity to make a decision about which path you really want to take in your life - just to be sure.
I am a strong spiritual person but I am also practical. I think we often read signs into things that are just the outcomes from prior action. There was a time you were looking for a job there and nothing came through then. Now that you are no longer looking to go there, the jobs come, imagine if they would have come earlier and now you are stuck in the city with a relationship break up. Seems like you caught a real break.
Just another opinion.
I am a strong spiritual person but I am also practical. I think we often read signs into things that are just the outcomes from prior action. There was a time you were looking for a job there and nothing came through then. Now that you are no longer looking to go there, the jobs come, imagine if they would have come earlier and now you are stuck in the city with a relationship break up. Seems like you caught a real break.
Just another opinion.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
hey tpen,
i kinda shuddered when i read the original post.
you have been really tormented by the ending of this relationship, and it's not completely over (the toment) for you yet.
i think that many of the posters here have raised great questions. but i would look, really look at your motivation for possibly taking this job. is there somewhere a tiny voice that is saying something about a potential reconciliation? just a tiny one?
i kinda shuddered when i read the original post.
you have been really tormented by the ending of this relationship, and it's not completely over (the toment) for you yet.
i think that many of the posters here have raised great questions. but i would look, really look at your motivation for possibly taking this job. is there somewhere a tiny voice that is saying something about a potential reconciliation? just a tiny one?
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