2 Days Sober and there is good news!
2 Days Sober and there is good news!
The panic attacks/massive anxiety is there but I am able to breath through them better and their frequency has lessoned. The shaking/vomiting is gone. Of course I am week and have the nausea but doing tons of gatorade and of course my multi vitamin and thiamin supplement. Thanks to another poster reminding me about that supplement. I have acquired this nice foggy head/headachy thing but yesterday was the true test for me. I just laid in bed like some addict and then I realized yes I am an alcoholic and I have an addiction.
I am not perfect and well lost a friend in the process but she wasn't really too much of a friend though. I was her buddy she would play slots with (no one else wanted to) and offered me rides to places so I can be built in babysitter, and of course the middle of the night phone calls because she thought her hubby was cheating. I wasn't too terrible when I spoke to her when I was drunk, etc. but I reminded her of how she called my hubby's supervisor when she needed him to take time off to help her last year. Yeah that is a sore spot but I am sorry....you don't call a friends spouse's boss to to have him take off to help you because yours is on a mission. You talk to the friend and or spouse. Yeah she has caused us some trouble and a few others so if she is upset over that then so be it. I don't need trouble in my life and it prob for the best. She called me hysterical that she was having tons of issues and a breakdown and she didn't need me reminding her of the past. We both wished each other well on our paths and so be it. I want to change and well she is still in denial about her own addictions.
Got a short email from hubby!!! He is ok but probably won't be home till next week or whenever they lift this airspace ban over here. At least I know he is safe.
All I know is that I feel so proud of myself for doing this while he is gone and I see all the positive in it when I don't have the attacks. There is light at the end my friends. I know I have been there before but this was the worst bout I have ever had with drinking. I only see all negative when the attacks kick in and then I think I am having a breakdown. When I am calm and feeling normal then everything is much better and I can make sense of things. I guess its being drunk versus being sober.
God Bless all of you for helping me once again on my journey and for being there to support me. I couldn't have started yesterday without you.
Kim
I am not perfect and well lost a friend in the process but she wasn't really too much of a friend though. I was her buddy she would play slots with (no one else wanted to) and offered me rides to places so I can be built in babysitter, and of course the middle of the night phone calls because she thought her hubby was cheating. I wasn't too terrible when I spoke to her when I was drunk, etc. but I reminded her of how she called my hubby's supervisor when she needed him to take time off to help her last year. Yeah that is a sore spot but I am sorry....you don't call a friends spouse's boss to to have him take off to help you because yours is on a mission. You talk to the friend and or spouse. Yeah she has caused us some trouble and a few others so if she is upset over that then so be it. I don't need trouble in my life and it prob for the best. She called me hysterical that she was having tons of issues and a breakdown and she didn't need me reminding her of the past. We both wished each other well on our paths and so be it. I want to change and well she is still in denial about her own addictions.
Got a short email from hubby!!! He is ok but probably won't be home till next week or whenever they lift this airspace ban over here. At least I know he is safe.
All I know is that I feel so proud of myself for doing this while he is gone and I see all the positive in it when I don't have the attacks. There is light at the end my friends. I know I have been there before but this was the worst bout I have ever had with drinking. I only see all negative when the attacks kick in and then I think I am having a breakdown. When I am calm and feeling normal then everything is much better and I can make sense of things. I guess its being drunk versus being sober.
God Bless all of you for helping me once again on my journey and for being there to support me. I couldn't have started yesterday without you.
Kim
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