I need advice about xabf again....
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Join Date: Dec 2009
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I need advice about xabf again....
So I loaned xabf money. I picked up a check from him last Friday for 1/3 of the total amount. He will make two more payments, he says. He had given me his $$$ watch to hold onto as collateral. He has called me twice and texted me twice asking for the watch back. I have ignored the contact b/c I am afraid of getting into anything with him. How should I respond? I was thinking that I'd text him to say that if it's all thbe same to him, I'd prefer to continue to hold onto it 'til he's paid me back in full. Thoughts?
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Join Date: Mar 2009
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Originally Posted by jcfollower 
So I loaned xabf money. I picked up a check from him last Friday for 1/3 of the total amount. He will make two more payments, he says. He had given me his $$$ watch to hold onto as collateral. He has called me twice and texted me twice asking for the watch back. I have ignored the contact b/c I am afraid of getting into anything with him. How should I respond? I was thinking that I'd text him to say that if it's all thbe same to him, I'd prefer to continue to hold onto it 'til he's paid me back in full. Thoughts?
If he gets pissy about it... tell him for every time he calls or texts for the watch without payment... that you'll send it back to him... link by link. (just kiddin) :rotfxko
If you give him the $$$ watch back without first receiving payment of said loan in full... you'll probably never see the money. IMO.
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Well, of course you're entitled to hold on to it until he pays in full. Does the bank give you the title to the car after you pay 1/3? The deed to the house? Of course not. I would leave out the "if it's all the same to him," and the "prefer," and just say something like "when you have paid me back in full, I will return the watch." Isn't that what "collateral" means?
L
L
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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If you pawn the watch, can you get the amount of money he still owes you?
If he owes you $300 and you pawn it for that amount, get your money that way and send him the pawn stub. Let him try to hoodwink the pawnbroker instead of you.
If he owes you $300 and you pawn it for that amount, get your money that way and send him the pawn stub. Let him try to hoodwink the pawnbroker instead of you.
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He gave you the watch as collateral, since then he has paid a third of that loan back.
Good for him.
Now if he wants the watch back, in one piece, he needs to pay out the loan in full, then back it comes.
Otherwise I liked the pawning it idea.
Decision is up to him.
God bless
Good for him.
Now if he wants the watch back, in one piece, he needs to pay out the loan in full, then back it comes.
Otherwise I liked the pawning it idea.
Decision is up to him.
God bless
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Thank you for the suggestions! Reading them has given me courage. HH, I love the idea of "a link at a time" but it's a leather band. Since we're talking three payments, maybe I can mail him one half of the band now, the other half next, and the face last? Lol. And believe me, Bucyn, I thought about the pawn shop myself! Heeheehee....
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Thank you for the suggestions! Reading them has given me courage. HH, I love the idea of "a link at a time" but it's a leather band. Since we're talking three payments, maybe I can mail him one half of the band now, the other half next, and the face last? Lol. And believe me, Bucyn, I thought about the pawn shop myself! Heeheehee....
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Originally Posted by jcfollower
Thank you for the suggestions! Reading them has given me courage. HH, I love the idea of "a link at a time" but it's a leather band. Since we're talking three payments, maybe I can mail him one half of the band now, the other half next, and the face last? Lol. And believe me, Bucyn, I thought about the pawn shop myself! Heeheehee....
The pawn shop is a GREAT idea... I think it's clever... takes you out of the mix and drama altogether....AND you get your money back all at the same time!
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Join Date: Apr 2008
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My only concern with the pawn shop is stolen property. If he has the audacity to file a police report saying it was stolen and you pawned it, then you and the pawn shop will be charged with possession of stolen property.
It's something I never even thought my ex was capable of doing but he did it. And I spent weeks in and out of the investigator's office (fortunately I work for the police department and there was serious pull in my favor to prove that I did not do what my ex claimed. In the end HE was arrested for filing a false police report). But there was still that period of time during the investigation that I felt like I was walking on egg shells and wondered what was going to happen next.
Sadly, my ex h is not an alcoholic. In fact, in 8 years of marriage I never saw him drink anything....ever. If a sober jerk is capable of doing something like this, what's an alcoholic jerk capable of doing in his (her) time of anger, desperation?
Just be careful, whatever you decided to do.
It's something I never even thought my ex was capable of doing but he did it. And I spent weeks in and out of the investigator's office (fortunately I work for the police department and there was serious pull in my favor to prove that I did not do what my ex claimed. In the end HE was arrested for filing a false police report). But there was still that period of time during the investigation that I felt like I was walking on egg shells and wondered what was going to happen next.
Sadly, my ex h is not an alcoholic. In fact, in 8 years of marriage I never saw him drink anything....ever. If a sober jerk is capable of doing something like this, what's an alcoholic jerk capable of doing in his (her) time of anger, desperation?
Just be careful, whatever you decided to do.
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well he obviously is not currently planning to follow through with what you two set up. may have had good intentions at the time, but that doesn't matter. i can only believe that he is desperate to even ask you for the watch back.
if he ratchets up the request - starts badgering, manipulating - you should probably go no contact.
maybe you could consider setting a timeline in place. it may have been assumed that he was going to pay you each third on each payday, consecutively, but put that requirement in writing (if it's a text message, don't delete them til it's over). if you guys DID have a time frame, remind him of that. tell him that once the time has expired, you will sell the watch and give him the remainder.
if he ratchets up the request - starts badgering, manipulating - you should probably go no contact.
maybe you could consider setting a timeline in place. it may have been assumed that he was going to pay you each third on each payday, consecutively, but put that requirement in writing (if it's a text message, don't delete them til it's over). if you guys DID have a time frame, remind him of that. tell him that once the time has expired, you will sell the watch and give him the remainder.
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Join Date: Mar 2009
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Originally Posted by kv816
My only concern with the pawn shop is stolen property. If he has the audacity to file a police report saying it was stolen and you pawned it, then you and the pawn shop will be charged with possession of stolen property.
It's something I never even thought my ex was capable of doing but he did it. And I spent weeks in and out of the investigator's office (fortunately I work for the police department and there was serious pull in my favor to prove that I did not do what my ex claimed. In the end HE was arrested for filing a false police report). But there was still that period of time during the investigation that I felt like I was walking on egg shells and wondered what was going to happen next.
Sadly, my ex h is not an alcoholic. In fact, in 8 years of marriage I never saw him drink anything....ever. If a sober jerk is capable of doing something like this, what's an alcoholic jerk capable of doing in his (her) time of anger, desperation?
Just be careful, whatever you decided to do.
It's something I never even thought my ex was capable of doing but he did it. And I spent weeks in and out of the investigator's office (fortunately I work for the police department and there was serious pull in my favor to prove that I did not do what my ex claimed. In the end HE was arrested for filing a false police report). But there was still that period of time during the investigation that I felt like I was walking on egg shells and wondered what was going to happen next.
Sadly, my ex h is not an alcoholic. In fact, in 8 years of marriage I never saw him drink anything....ever. If a sober jerk is capable of doing something like this, what's an alcoholic jerk capable of doing in his (her) time of anger, desperation?
Just be careful, whatever you decided to do.
**Coffeedrinker** I'm with you that it seems like he doesn't want to follow thru.... otherwise why ask for the watch back? No watch... no leverage... see ya! Yep...seems that way.
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Location: Kansas
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Originally Posted by AlwaysGrowing
Rule number #1 - Don't lend an EX money..... An EX is an EX.... A loan might as well be giving him money. Now look at what this whole loaning is doing to you.
Rule number #2 - Don't forget rule number #1.
Rule number #2 - Don't forget rule number #1.
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UPDATE: I texted the xabf last evening, saying that he will absolutely get his watch back, and I'll make sure of it when he has paid me back in full. As of 10pm tonight, I haven't heard a peep from him! As for the loan circumstances, he wasn't an ex when he borrowed the $$$--not that it makes a difference in the long run, but just thought I'd clarify.
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