Not sure why...
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Not sure why...
I'm feeling out of sorts today.
I've been working two jobs.... both are demanding and I need the money to meet my financial obligations... I do enjoy both jobs... but both are pulling at me right now and I need the money... so I'm working like crazy... I have good credit and will claw and scratch to keep it that way.
My recent divorce has impacted me financially... my ex has not contributed to me financially in over 3 months... I charged $6,000 debt for miscellaneous expenses via my credit card with the understanding.... "Oh we'll pay it... it'll be o.k.".... so I was a big dummy and charged stupid stuff so he could have cash for his pot. I still haven't forgiven myself for doing that! I have learned a new boundary from this mistake. I had previously always been frugal and seldom (if ever) used my cards for stupid stuff. I'm not financially devastated... but it's pretty darn squeeky around here.
I went yesterday to sell my wedding band... yep needed money to pay two bills... now it wasn't a fancy ring... but two years ago... we paid $325 for it... went to a reputable jeweler (in ah hometown) and this jeweler was his "good friend".... yeah right! So gold is now $1,180 an ounce... taking the ring to reputable gold exchange to sell (not a pawn shop) I'm thinking I should get at least $400 or $450... nope... I got $150.00!!!! So I'm really pissed off...
Here's the kicker...I get a call from ex saying his dad passed away yesterday afternoon. The death was unexpected and sudden... he had battled cancer and won... but his lungs kept filling with fluid.. so he'd go occasionally and have the fluid removed.... he didn't make it this time.
His dad was a wonderful person... I was so sad to hear of his passing.... so now I'm feeling a guilty...for being mad yesterday... I don't understand why. I had to leave my ah... it wasn't going to get any better...he wasn't going to change... he even said so.... and I certainly didn't want to participate in HIS demise.
I do feel for my ex and his family for their loss.... sent them a nice short condolence email last night... received a thank you from his family.
I'm not sure why I'm feeling out of sorts... trying to be kind to myself... it's a struggle right now.
Thanks.
I've been working two jobs.... both are demanding and I need the money to meet my financial obligations... I do enjoy both jobs... but both are pulling at me right now and I need the money... so I'm working like crazy... I have good credit and will claw and scratch to keep it that way.
My recent divorce has impacted me financially... my ex has not contributed to me financially in over 3 months... I charged $6,000 debt for miscellaneous expenses via my credit card with the understanding.... "Oh we'll pay it... it'll be o.k.".... so I was a big dummy and charged stupid stuff so he could have cash for his pot. I still haven't forgiven myself for doing that! I have learned a new boundary from this mistake. I had previously always been frugal and seldom (if ever) used my cards for stupid stuff. I'm not financially devastated... but it's pretty darn squeeky around here.
I went yesterday to sell my wedding band... yep needed money to pay two bills... now it wasn't a fancy ring... but two years ago... we paid $325 for it... went to a reputable jeweler (in ah hometown) and this jeweler was his "good friend".... yeah right! So gold is now $1,180 an ounce... taking the ring to reputable gold exchange to sell (not a pawn shop) I'm thinking I should get at least $400 or $450... nope... I got $150.00!!!! So I'm really pissed off...
Here's the kicker...I get a call from ex saying his dad passed away yesterday afternoon. The death was unexpected and sudden... he had battled cancer and won... but his lungs kept filling with fluid.. so he'd go occasionally and have the fluid removed.... he didn't make it this time.
His dad was a wonderful person... I was so sad to hear of his passing.... so now I'm feeling a guilty...for being mad yesterday... I don't understand why. I had to leave my ah... it wasn't going to get any better...he wasn't going to change... he even said so.... and I certainly didn't want to participate in HIS demise.
I do feel for my ex and his family for their loss.... sent them a nice short condolence email last night... received a thank you from his family.
I'm not sure why I'm feeling out of sorts... trying to be kind to myself... it's a struggle right now.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
I have made some boo boos.....financial and others.....Today is a new day. I have learned to be more careful about spending. I ask myself do I want that or do I need it? I pay things off as soon as possible. I need to cut back on eating out. I usually take two mini vacations.....this year I will take one. I don't go to therapy anymore (am fine really) and don't take my yoga class anymore. I squeeze more time out of clothes. I don't drive as much. I exercise at homeor walk around the block. Spending was kind of an addiction for me so now I am aware. I spent alot of $ on XAH. So, I am definitely saving there. One bite of the elephant at a time......one inch of the football field at a time. "You have to pay your bills but you don't have to worry about it."-Eckart Tolle ....... and a friend says when you pay your bills...."it's making somebody happy." When I think back at what living with alcoholism cost me......I'd rather pay a few bills.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Yep.. would love to take a nap... I do love my sleep... I read your post the other day about you having a difficult time sleeping... and typically I sleep pretty darn good... but have not been sleeping good lately.... so thanks to you I took over-the-counter sleep aid last night and did get a good nights rest and for that I'm thankful... it actually helped me come up with a killer idea for one of my job projects... so that was a good thing!
I think some of my issues come from the fact that my ex and I work in the same field.... we no longer work together.... he actually went and worked for the competition and he is killing me in the sales department.... he has not been truthful with customers especially the one's that like me...(even telling them we're still married!).... eeegaaad. I'm doing the best I can to stay out of his way... I prefer to not interact with him or customers that gravitate toward him...
In the big picture I've been pretty darn good with getting new customers and salvaging ones that he has pissed off.... but it hasn't been enough to meet my payments... well just barely. I'm eating cereal and cheap crap to cut back on expenses... I can spend upwards of $200/week on gasoline alone... some days it pays to stay home!
I have faced the music with my debt... (love, love, love spreadsheets) and recently negotiated a better APR....have been trying to pay off double the minimum payment when I can.... it is a constant battle... and look forward to getting it paid in full. I realize I can't cry over spilt milk... and get really mad at myself when I do cry... the mistake is done... I've heard it doesn't help to cry but it does make me feel better at the time.
I do so very much appreciate your response and encouragement. Thanks.
I think some of my issues come from the fact that my ex and I work in the same field.... we no longer work together.... he actually went and worked for the competition and he is killing me in the sales department.... he has not been truthful with customers especially the one's that like me...(even telling them we're still married!).... eeegaaad. I'm doing the best I can to stay out of his way... I prefer to not interact with him or customers that gravitate toward him...
In the big picture I've been pretty darn good with getting new customers and salvaging ones that he has pissed off.... but it hasn't been enough to meet my payments... well just barely. I'm eating cereal and cheap crap to cut back on expenses... I can spend upwards of $200/week on gasoline alone... some days it pays to stay home!
I have faced the music with my debt... (love, love, love spreadsheets) and recently negotiated a better APR....have been trying to pay off double the minimum payment when I can.... it is a constant battle... and look forward to getting it paid in full. I realize I can't cry over spilt milk... and get really mad at myself when I do cry... the mistake is done... I've heard it doesn't help to cry but it does make me feel better at the time.
I do so very much appreciate your response and encouragement. Thanks.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by Carol Star 
I have made some boo boos.....financial and others.....Today is a new day. I have learned to be more careful about spending. I ask myself do I want that or do I need it? I pay things off as soon as possible. I need to cut back on eating out. I usually take two mini vacations.....this year I will take one. I don't go to therapy anymore (am fine really) and don't take my yoga class anymore. I squeeze more time out of clothes. I don't drive as much. I exercise at homeor walk around the block. Spending was kind of an addiction for me so now I am aware. I spent alot of $ on XAH. So, I am definitely saving there. One bite of the elephant at a time......one inch of the football field at a time. "You have to pay your bills but you don't have to worry about it."-Eckart Tolle ....... and a friend says when you pay your bills...."it's making somebody happy." When I think back at what living with alcoholism cost me......I'd rather pay a few bills.
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
By the time I left my exah and divorced him, I was DEEP in debt...I mean DEEP. I had to file for (gulp) bankruptcy it was so bad. I lost my marital home. I was in a deep, dark pit financially.
Everytime my bad credit score or some other financial consequence of addiction popped into my life I felt resentment.
I worked my butt off...played by the rules...and ended up a financial loser. Thats the way I felt about it.
And then I decided to look at it another way.
Its only money.
It doesn't define me.
I made a plan for myself. I'm happy and proud to say that I actually purchased a new home, have made a substantial improvement to my credit score (as much as I can with a bankruptcy on it)...and in another year, the bankruptcy will be off my credit report completely and I can really and truly 'start fresh' financially.
Hold your head high and be proud of the steps you've taken. You WILL dig yourself out of this hole. Its only money. You have RECOVERY going on in your life and that, as they say, is PRICELESS !!!!!!!!!
Everytime my bad credit score or some other financial consequence of addiction popped into my life I felt resentment.
I worked my butt off...played by the rules...and ended up a financial loser. Thats the way I felt about it.
And then I decided to look at it another way.
Its only money.
It doesn't define me.
I made a plan for myself. I'm happy and proud to say that I actually purchased a new home, have made a substantial improvement to my credit score (as much as I can with a bankruptcy on it)...and in another year, the bankruptcy will be off my credit report completely and I can really and truly 'start fresh' financially.
Hold your head high and be proud of the steps you've taken. You WILL dig yourself out of this hole. Its only money. You have RECOVERY going on in your life and that, as they say, is PRICELESS !!!!!!!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by outonalimb
By the time I left my exah and divorced him, I was DEEP in debt...I mean DEEP. I had to file for (gulp) bankruptcy it was so bad. I lost my marital home. I was in a deep, dark pit financially.
Everytime my bad credit score or some other financial consequence of addiction popped into my life I felt resentment.
I worked my butt off...played by the rules...and ended up a financial loser. Thats the way I felt about it.
And then I decided to look at it another way.
Its only money.
It doesn't define me.
I made a plan for myself. I'm happy and proud to say that I actually purchased a new home, have made a substantial improvement to my credit score (as much as I can with a bankruptcy on it)...and in another year, the bankruptcy will be off my credit report completely and I can really and truly 'start fresh' financially.
Hold your head high and be proud of the steps you've taken. You WILL dig yourself out of this hole. Its only money. You have RECOVERY going on in your life and that, as they say, is PRICELESS !!!!!!!!!
Everytime my bad credit score or some other financial consequence of addiction popped into my life I felt resentment.
I worked my butt off...played by the rules...and ended up a financial loser. Thats the way I felt about it.
And then I decided to look at it another way.
Its only money.
It doesn't define me.
I made a plan for myself. I'm happy and proud to say that I actually purchased a new home, have made a substantial improvement to my credit score (as much as I can with a bankruptcy on it)...and in another year, the bankruptcy will be off my credit report completely and I can really and truly 'start fresh' financially.
Hold your head high and be proud of the steps you've taken. You WILL dig yourself out of this hole. Its only money. You have RECOVERY going on in your life and that, as they say, is PRICELESS !!!!!!!!!
I am definitely much more at peace now than 6 months ago... I have a better grasp of recovery for myself and that is PRICELESS. Thanks for reminding me.
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 118
Hammerhead,
About that ring, I've been in the biz for awhile and let me try to make it right for you.
"we paid $325 for it..." The day you paid that for the ring, it would have wholesaled to your jeweler for $81.25. Getting $150 dollars for $81.25 worth of goods is a deal on your side.
Emotional attachment to that ring is a whole 'nother ball game and no doubt a big part of the reason you're feeling out of sorts. Gold and diamonds are an investment - take the money and pay the electric bill. You almost doubled your investment. You have other memories of your marriage - aside from the baubles.
CB
Why am I beginning to feel like Dear Abbey?
About that ring, I've been in the biz for awhile and let me try to make it right for you.
"we paid $325 for it..." The day you paid that for the ring, it would have wholesaled to your jeweler for $81.25. Getting $150 dollars for $81.25 worth of goods is a deal on your side.
Emotional attachment to that ring is a whole 'nother ball game and no doubt a big part of the reason you're feeling out of sorts. Gold and diamonds are an investment - take the money and pay the electric bill. You almost doubled your investment. You have other memories of your marriage - aside from the baubles.
CB
Why am I beginning to feel like Dear Abbey?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by cb1504
Hammerhead,
About that ring, I've been in the biz for awhile and let me try to make it right for you.
"we paid $325 for it..." The day you paid that for the ring, it would have wholesaled to your jeweler for $81.25. Getting $150 dollars for $81.25 worth of goods is a deal on your side.
Emotional attachment to that ring is a whole 'nother ball game and no doubt a big part of the reason you're feeling out of sorts. Gold and diamonds are an investment - take the money and pay the electric bill. You almost doubled your investment. You have other memories of your marriage - aside from the baubles.
CB
Why am I beginning to feel like Dear Abbey?
About that ring, I've been in the biz for awhile and let me try to make it right for you.
"we paid $325 for it..." The day you paid that for the ring, it would have wholesaled to your jeweler for $81.25. Getting $150 dollars for $81.25 worth of goods is a deal on your side.
Emotional attachment to that ring is a whole 'nother ball game and no doubt a big part of the reason you're feeling out of sorts. Gold and diamonds are an investment - take the money and pay the electric bill. You almost doubled your investment. You have other memories of your marriage - aside from the baubles.
CB
Why am I beginning to feel like Dear Abbey?
I think my gripe was the fact that we bought it from his "good friend" who gave us a "bargain" on it... so I'm a bit peeved that we didn't get such "a good deal"... with friends like that who needs enemies. Now I know the "friend" had to make money on it... but good grief... don't tell someone they're getting a "deal"... when in fact they are not... like I said... it was his friend... (blech)
I didn't have a problem letting the ring go... in reality I've held on to it this long to get the best price... as gold has been going up and up. Any sentimental attachment to the ring was let go when I took it off nearly 6 months ago.
Thanks for your bit of good news... I like double the money idea... makes it easier to swallow
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