man, this is h*ll!
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: bowling green ky
Posts: 201
man, this is h*ll!
Well, Ah quit his job (good job) a week ago- now regreting it- no crack in a week- only beer for last 3 days (not that it is better- but no liquor) his depression is worse than I have ever seen it- I tell him he needs to get help- he says rehab never worked for him (been 6 times) AA and NA never helped (went many years)- says no one can help him. He really believes it to- curses God with every breath- cries all the time- I cant help him, I know- but I almost belive nothing can
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
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Originally Posted by ellima01 
--- he claims he wants to get better-but he really believes that AA/NA and rehab wont work-(because they "never have")
......until HE WANTS IT to work.
Just my opinion.
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: bowling green ky
Posts: 201
No- cant give him $, not enough of it to give now. I dont have the heart to kick him out (I know, I know- but im being honest) but I am not gonna be s miserable as him- Im going to do somethings for me- not sure what yet- but something.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Hi ellima!
I caught myself recently "suffering" the life of someone else. Its their life and their decisions.
What then? how will you support yourself now, or where will the income be coming from?
It is easy to wallow and be sad.. it is the easiest thing... I know because I have done it many years.
I also get the "listening to the same song" over and over and over and overkilling a dead horse. I also have done that the last 2 years.
It sucks to listen to it.
It sucks to be the talker, too.
Here its spring and there is a sense of refreshment and light... birds chirp, my bamboo plants grow, my cats play even more than before... humans were not made to be stuck in an imagined Winter you know? we were made to strive in Spring and hunt dreams -YOUR dreams and it doesn't have to be anything grand or anything expensive or anything anyone else has to like, accept or buy.
This man can live Winter if he wants, what about you? what do you prefer. what if this was the last year you are alive? you know I recently met a woman who was told she has 5, 6 months to live at most. (Bad esthetic surgery). It was an eye-opener.
I caught myself recently "suffering" the life of someone else. Its their life and their decisions.
What then? how will you support yourself now, or where will the income be coming from?
It is easy to wallow and be sad.. it is the easiest thing... I know because I have done it many years.
I also get the "listening to the same song" over and over and over and overkilling a dead horse. I also have done that the last 2 years.
It sucks to listen to it.
It sucks to be the talker, too.
Here its spring and there is a sense of refreshment and light... birds chirp, my bamboo plants grow, my cats play even more than before... humans were not made to be stuck in an imagined Winter you know? we were made to strive in Spring and hunt dreams -YOUR dreams and it doesn't have to be anything grand or anything expensive or anything anyone else has to like, accept or buy.
This man can live Winter if he wants, what about you? what do you prefer. what if this was the last year you are alive? you know I recently met a woman who was told she has 5, 6 months to live at most. (Bad esthetic surgery). It was an eye-opener.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Honey, just how many more years of listening to whingeing Willy are you prepared to go thru?
Is there some payoff for putting up with this crud from him?
He cries out saying he wants help, quack quack, BUT there is no-one to help him (in his addled view).
So what makes him so special, so unique, that all these specialists in rehab etc, can help thousands of others, but not your AH?
HE is the magic ingredient that prevents success in recovery, that prevents him being helped....HIM.
He does not want help, he does not want to stop, to learn, to grow or to live....all he wants is to have his supply of crack and booze and you and all else are as nothing.
What has changed in 5 long years for you? Very little to the good it seems.
If anything is going to change for your AH, he will have to actually want it and take the steps to make it happen. Moaning changes nothing.
If anything is going to change for YOU, you will have to really want it, and take the steps to make it happen.
Either continue to sacrifice more years of your life to his miserable behavior, or let him be who he is ...on his own...and you leave to get a real life for you.
God bless
Is there some payoff for putting up with this crud from him?
He cries out saying he wants help, quack quack, BUT there is no-one to help him (in his addled view).
So what makes him so special, so unique, that all these specialists in rehab etc, can help thousands of others, but not your AH?
HE is the magic ingredient that prevents success in recovery, that prevents him being helped....HIM.
He does not want help, he does not want to stop, to learn, to grow or to live....all he wants is to have his supply of crack and booze and you and all else are as nothing.
What has changed in 5 long years for you? Very little to the good it seems.
If anything is going to change for your AH, he will have to actually want it and take the steps to make it happen. Moaning changes nothing.
If anything is going to change for YOU, you will have to really want it, and take the steps to make it happen.
Either continue to sacrifice more years of your life to his miserable behavior, or let him be who he is ...on his own...and you leave to get a real life for you.
God bless
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