LucyA

I went once, I made the mistake of going with my mum when I don't really think she was ready or even understood what it was all about.
I liked it.
It was a two hour bus ride there, and the same back.
Well worth it in my opinion.
I've never been back because my brother died soon after we went.
Can I still go?
Could I go back?
Even though he's not here any more?
I think I understand so much more now than I did then, but I feel the need to talk to others who 'know' not a counsellor who does it for a living, I want to talk with real people who have their own real situations and can say 'ah, yes, I know what you mean'
Would it still be alright to just go there?

LucyA

When I went, I felt everyone understood, they just 'knew'. But I never said a word because my mum was there and didn't get it, so I didn't feel comfortable talking about my feelings around my brother and his drinking.
I'm going to go, without mum this time, and spill my guts and offer support whatever, I just feel the need!

Pelican

Great idea Lucy!

I am glad you are taking care of YOU. I really like the sober hugs I get at meetings!

LucyA

I'm not a really huggy person, unless it's my kids, but hey, maybe I'll get to like it!
It's the British reserve kicking in

Pelican

I'll try to help you adjust: (((Lucy)))
youve been cyber hugged today

I was just reading in my Codependent No More book. Trying to get caught up with the group reading and I had some time to read ahead today. This is for you:

"Strive for good physical treatment too. We don't ever have to let people hit us. And we don't have to hit people. Hug them instead. Or, if a hug isn't appropriate, touch them in gentle, loving ways that communicate positive energy. For those who think hugging is a waste of time or an unnecessary activity indulged in by overly sentimental people, read the following excerpt from 'Fat is a Family Affair' and think again:
'In the early 1970's, doctors began studying a mechanism within the nervous system which produces a morphine like effect helping to alleviate pain and subduing trauma and shock.
These morphine-like substances are called endorphins and they are secreted to sooth pain, take the edge off and promote general well-being.
.............When you turn to a felllow human being and you put your arms around one another, this starts the endorphins flowing......Your dog is no dummy when he jumps up for a rub on the chest or a pat on the head. He's getting his endorphins up and keeping himself mellow."
Taken from Codependent No More, by Melody BeattieThe dog part - my bassett hound stays freaking high from all the attention begging! He tried getting his 70 lb self in my lap last night! I was laughing at how silly he was, but it was theraputic for both of us!

coyote21

I'm kinda reserved about touchy, feeley stuff too. At least I WAS before Alanon. Now I'm first in line for hugs. I think there's something to Pelicans study on endorphins, my 20lb tom cat sure knows about 'em.

My TICKET's been gone over 3 years now, and I still go for all the reasons you stated. Other people who "get it". Good stuff.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

DesertEyes

Absolutely yes. Al-anon is for people who's lives have been affected by alcholism. That's the whole definition. No time frame, no requirement for them being alive, or living with you, or what kind of relationship.

I still go. Got divorced _years_ ago. My parents were alcoholics and they died before I got divorced.

I go because I still learn from them, because some lessons I forget, because I see them doing well and I am reminded that if I want to keep the wonderful life I have now I better not forget those lessons.

They all welcome me, nobody cares why I go. They just care that the pain of having lived with alcoholism still aches now and again, and that is why they are there.

So yes, just like SR, you are always welcome.

Mike

wicked

Yep, I am not a huggy person, nor a hand holding person.
Only immediate family members. Oh, and very very very good friends.
But, I think you should go too Lucy. I am sure you will get a lot out of it, and have much to share.