Was it better before?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Fresno, CA
Posts: 5
Was it better before?
My AH made a comment that I used to love him more when he was drinking. He said he thought I would be happier that he wasn't drinking. How sad, I thought. And of course immediate denial came out of my mouth! For the record it has now been 14 days sober for him (which has been the longest sobreity period for him by personal choice). I remember it was day 5 of sobriety when he started with mood swings, but in reverse, if that makes sense (more time being mad/angry, with a few glimpses of gladness). After thinking about it, it made sense to me, the weekend is coming and maybe he's dealing with cravings......... I love him, but make every attempt to stay out of his way when I notice he's in a bad mood in order to avoid being scolded or yelled at for dumb reasons. All of a sudden my behavior or choices are never good enough for him. I feel he's always criticizing me. How can one be happy? It's kinda odd around the house now because his way of avoiding lash-outs is by being quiet and keeping to himself when he's around us (which is not his normal personality at all). Normally he's a happy-go-lucky kinda guy. Full of personality, charm and passion. We've probably been intimate 2 times in the past 2 weeks. Although he's here with us, I still feel like miss him so much! All I can do is pray and continute to have faith and hope.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Is he in recovery (AA, counseling, treatment of some sort), or did he just stop drinking?
The reason I ask is because I don't believe alcoholics recover simply by stopping the ingestion of alcohol. Nor do I believe codependents recover simply by getting away from the alcoholic.
L
The reason I ask is because I don't believe alcoholics recover simply by stopping the ingestion of alcohol. Nor do I believe codependents recover simply by getting away from the alcoholic.
L
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
From my earliest recollections, I was never comfortable in my own skin, not even as a child.
I needed a drink long before I picked the first one up.
The drinking was a solution for me until it finally stopped working.
It was my social lubricant, my escape from those feelings of self-loathing, of being 'different', my way to loosen up and be happy!
The real work began after I put the bottle down.
I had no idea how to deal with life on life's terms. I had no idea how to come to a place where I could live in my own skin without the help of alcohol.
Abstinence only is not recovery. The drinking is only a symptom.
I needed a drink long before I picked the first one up.
The drinking was a solution for me until it finally stopped working.
It was my social lubricant, my escape from those feelings of self-loathing, of being 'different', my way to loosen up and be happy!
The real work began after I put the bottle down.
I had no idea how to deal with life on life's terms. I had no idea how to come to a place where I could live in my own skin without the help of alcohol.
Abstinence only is not recovery. The drinking is only a symptom.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
