dedubya

I dont sleep much. I have such a strong will with everything but alcohol! What in the crap is going on with me. I work well, I am in good physical condition, I love life but why do I have to drink....I know its my situation but it baffles me how I have come to this. I have completely stopped drugs (C and H) many many years ago and I dont even want them. I sound full of pity, but just wanted to say that. Its my decision and I know that- but that decision is one of the most weird things I have ever dealt with.
Dub

vegibean

Dub, have you been hitting any meetings or gotten a sponsor yet? Is it that you really don't want to stop? I'm betting things haven't gotten bad enough either, just a thought as I know it was like that for me, pretty much all of the above.

I do hope for your own sake that things don't get bad before they get better for you. I know it's hard, been there, but it takes some work on our part and our willingness to do that.

May I even suggest getting a twelve step book and start with reading steps one through three.

My best as always.

Boleo

Perhaps you stopped drugs in time (before you lost control) but your drinking has gone on too long to use the same tricks & tips stop in a similar manor?

tyler

That is some great insight that I had never considered before. So many times you hear people, myself included, say, "I tried or abused this drug or that and never became addicted, why does this one effect me?" I just never really thought about it that way. Thanks!!

intention

Hi Dub,

You are an alcoholic.......that is what is going on with you. Lack of sleep is due to alcohol dependance and withdrawal as your blood alcohol levels drop.

There are many alcoholics who have a house, spouse, great job, kids, car and still die from alcoholism.

But having all the good things in life doesn't matter if you are dead just as losing it all doesn't matter if you are dead.

You could spend the rest of your life trying to work out how it has come to this but you will never find an answer, because there is none.

But you can recover. There is a solution in working the 12 Steps of AA which will remove your mental obsession to drink. I hope you can find it in yourself to finally surrender - I know that old sponsor of yours is just waiting for your call.
Take care

Dee74

hey Dub

It's addiction - strong will means nothing here, or next to nothing.

I don't know why alcohol has a greater hold on you than anything else - it was the same for me...I suspect the fact that alcohol is everywhere and is socially sanctioned has a bit to do with it....I've certainly consumed more of it than anything else.

There's a lot of good advice in this thread, man.

D

vegibean

And ditto to the strong will thing and alcohol. Dee is right, it's an addiction, you don't have it, it has you.

nocoincidence56

We swap one addiction for another. Stop this drug, pick up another, always trying to find some something we can use to escape our feelings as controlled by our addiction. It will not end until we realize on the deepest levels of who we are that we are addicts who can't use any mood altering substance successfully. Until that time, life is a perpetual struggle, with one part of being screaming "just stop!" while being drowned out by the chaos of life as dominated by the other. Eventually, depending on the person, that "other" collapses and recovery can begin. It takes what it takes. For each person it is different. There are different bottoms. Hopefully yours will be shallow....