Wrenwrench

I am posting for the first time but I have been reading the posts for awhile. I am maybe not an alcoholic but a heck of a binge drinker. I have not had a drink or been high in several days. I have to finish a giant paper for a class by tomorrow night and I am not making progress because I can't stop thinking about getting wasted. My class ends as soon as I submit this paper, and then I get a week break from school, and that's when the next big binge starts. I am crazy to live like this. I hate being drunk, and everytime I drink at all, I end up sick, drunk, and passed out. I will do that every night next week, drag myself in late for work everyday, sleep at my desk, etc. Maybe it's why I can't seem to write this paper.

Anyway, I can't be thinking about anything else but getting this paper done. If anyone has any ideas for how I can sit here and concentrate on work and not think about what I really want to do, please tell me.

Dee74

Hi Wrenwrench

Welcome to SR

I always found having a definite plan to follow with essays helped me...I also got more focused as the deadline loomed LOL

with regards to the alcohol...for tonight, make sure you're as rested as possible (I know hard to do, but try to make sure you're not stressing too much)...also make sure you're not hungry...and soft drinks, hard candies or dried fruits can do wonders sometimes, if you have something like that in the house...

For next week - have you considered hitting an AA meeting, or joining some other recovery programme?

Big binges don't have to happen. Don't resign yourself to that if you really want to change.

good luck with the assignment
D

bike4life

With the time and stress at the moment, it looks there is only two choices for tonight only:

1. Stop this and finish the paper, or
2. Binge drink and start all over next semester

It's been 3 months of school so is it worth the wait for one night? Choice is yours but just do it.

pinkgurl87

Welcome here!! Good luck with assignment, I'm in school too studying for exams right now.

Wrenwrench

D,

Thanks. Sipping tea and bubblegum have become a way a life for me, especially for long nights of work. I have been thinking about trying an AA meeting, but have not mustered courage to actually go to one. A number of reasons for that - I live in a small town and I'm kind of concerned about seeing someone who knows me. I'm not very social and I don't like going places where I don't know anyone (which conflicts with my prior reason). I think it would be best if I don't tell my husband I was going because he prefers to think I don't have a problem with drinking too much. I just hate having to sneak out or lie to him to go to a meeting. Also, maybe I've been drinking so long I can't imagine living without it for very long. I have quit for maybe 2 or 3 months at a time a bunch of times over the years. My husband thinks I don't have a problem because I am successful in my career and as a student, and I can do all the stuff I have to do as far as taking care of the kids and house. But, obviously, I know I have a drinking problem.

HumbleBee

Hey Wren,

I was a binge drinker too while going to work and school. My binge drinking progressed, as it always does if not stopped and turned into every day, all day drinking, passing out, blacking out, waking up sick, puking, sweats - the whole bit. Any time away from school or work was an opportunity to drink even more, without the accountability commitment.

I ended up quitting my job before they had a chance to fire me and dropped out of school completely. I chose alcohol over everything I had worked for.

AA isn't for everybody but it's a great place to meet sober people or just go to a meeting and listen. I saw a counselor who specialized in alcoholism which really opened my eyes and was a life saving experience.

Instead of "I have next week off, I will drink" think about "I have next week off and will have the time to do something to stop this insanity." I wish I had before throwing everything away. Take care of you.

coffeenut

Welcome to SR, Wren. Your story sounds a lot like mine....except I was an everyday binge drinker.

Stick around here....read....and post....

Dee74

Hi Wren

There's a lot of people using a variety of different ways to stay sober - I just picked AA cos it's pretty much everywhere.

Whatever way you pick, I really identify with what HumbleBee said about

nothing changes if nothing changes Wren - I hope you can figure some changes next week

We're always here for some think-tanking and support anyway

D

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community.....

My suggestion?
Time to get back to your paper.....
Check back in when you are finished.

Members are here 24/7
we want you to succeed in all areas of life.

Wrenwrench

Thank you all so much for your support and words of wisdom. Pinkgurl - good luck with your exams. Fortunately, my program is nearly all online so I am evaluated only on written work - I don't have to memorize anything or study. It's all researching and writing.

OK - I best get back to it. I'll check back later. Thank you all!!!

GreenerPastures

Hi Wrenwrench -

I can tell you that it does get easier. I remember the first three weeks were so hard for me. Just sitting with myself and trying to turn off the craving of alcohol amost drove me bonkers. I just had my tea with honey and my sparkling water with lime (this very much helped with the cravings) and after a month, I could tell a difference in that I did not crave it as much anymore. I am almost at day 100, and I am doing okay and I am so proud of myself (gotta toot my own horn here . Of course, there are some moments when I have to battle with myself and have a conversation in my head saying no (especially when alcohol is served). The conversation is about 30 seconds now, but it is funny that I still go through it. I just set my resolve and tell myself that I will NOT wake up with a hangover tomorrow and I won't sound like an idiot as the night progresses from having one too many. All worth it when I wake up in the morning.

You can do this. I know the pressures of family and school can be overwhelming and the easiest thing is to have a drink to quell the stress - but believe me, it is so much better when you can accomplish all your goals with the stresses that go with it alcohol free. I am rooting for you!

PS - Hope your assignment went well!