Any ladies equally guilty of joint Alcoholism here?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 464
Any ladies equally guilty of joint Alcoholism here?
Hi Just wanting to know..are there many here who were jointly alcoholic ...with there accused AH husbands/ partners?...ie..did they have as much of an addiction to alcohol and all its trappings..and did they give as good as they got...or am i unique...if so whats your stories...and how did things work out or not?...would be good to hear some honest stories of dual alcoholic lifestyles...what they entailed..an what they come too...and how it affected your children, and immediate families...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
I surrendered and recovered, he didn't...we tried to hold it together....didn't work.....too different....he was uncomfortable of me going to meetings (AA, NA, and Alanon) and called it a cult, brainwashing, (jealous or something /denial)....we just got too different....he didn't believe in HP......His disease has progressed.....he has lost everything......job, license, me.......is about to lose his house......SAD......I have gone NC ( no contact).......I am sad for him but very grateful for my recovery.....I tried for years with him....took him to 2 treatment centers.....2 detoxes....he ain't ready/may never be..The kids have had their own troubles with substances and driving issues......they don't have much to do with him but love him very much.........My Alanon sponser says him going to jail should have been an intervention/bottom for him but it wasn't....he served 6 months for DUI......I feel guilty I didn't do an intervention but my Alanon sponser says jail should have been anintervention for him...He cameout of jail real bitter blaming everyone else and I knew my marriage was over. Very sad.
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Hey Kerbie,
I got sober and when my head was just coming out of my butt at 60-days. I finally could see that my husband was in a full blown prescription addiction. Which, explains why his drinking slowed down over the previous year. For the most part, I hid my drinking from him. He knew I drank, but not the full extent of it. I knew he was on pain medications, I did not know he had multiple doctors - We fooled eachother - and, at the same time, nobody.
Anyway, got two guys from AA to come over. Dropped them off and I left for coffee. They (THANK YOU AL & CHARLIE) talked him into going to the hospital where he stayed for four days before going to rehab.
When he came back from rehab, he was a changed man. He was excited about recovery. Over the next 8 months he did ---- Nothing. Didn't keep a sponsor, didn't work steps etc... He finally just stopped going all together. I thought, well, that's Okay. AA isn't for everyone.
Well, I highly suspected drug use had started up again. Everything was a mess. I was growing - He was not. So, he's been gone two months now and I know he's drinking again. I'm still unsure about drugs.
I'm afraid I'll have to get back to you on how this seperation is affecting my kids. They seem fine. But, seriously, at two months - There's no telling how it's going to effect them just yet. I can say I'm doing my best to shield them and I'm making sure their routine hasn't changed anymore than it has to.
I got sober and when my head was just coming out of my butt at 60-days. I finally could see that my husband was in a full blown prescription addiction. Which, explains why his drinking slowed down over the previous year. For the most part, I hid my drinking from him. He knew I drank, but not the full extent of it. I knew he was on pain medications, I did not know he had multiple doctors - We fooled eachother - and, at the same time, nobody.
Anyway, got two guys from AA to come over. Dropped them off and I left for coffee. They (THANK YOU AL & CHARLIE) talked him into going to the hospital where he stayed for four days before going to rehab.
When he came back from rehab, he was a changed man. He was excited about recovery. Over the next 8 months he did ---- Nothing. Didn't keep a sponsor, didn't work steps etc... He finally just stopped going all together. I thought, well, that's Okay. AA isn't for everyone.
Well, I highly suspected drug use had started up again. Everything was a mess. I was growing - He was not. So, he's been gone two months now and I know he's drinking again. I'm still unsure about drugs.
I'm afraid I'll have to get back to you on how this seperation is affecting my kids. They seem fine. But, seriously, at two months - There's no telling how it's going to effect them just yet. I can say I'm doing my best to shield them and I'm making sure their routine hasn't changed anymore than it has to.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Married three alcoholics and one alcoholic/addict.
I am an alcoholic.
Growing up in an alcoholic family, however,
I didn't begin my drinking 'career' until I was 42.
having been raised by an alcoholic and around them...
I knew the odds were stacked in my favor.
During these 'marriages' however -
I only 'sometimes' drank withthe spouse.
I was still in the codie/good acoa behavior
of remaining in the 'designated human' role
because with both of us derranged
no telling what would have happened.
Ironically
it wasn't until I was free of number four
that I found out
that a 'shot' or two
would stop
the panic adrenaline overloads when triggered into PTSD eposodes.
That was how it began.
It literally began with me saying that I NEEDED a shot to calm my nerve.
Through a series of 'unfortunate events'
non of which were alcohol generated or induced -
at the same time i lost my faith in any higher power's existance
and entered into a ... non-eternal-generated 3-d only world...
I got a job bartending
and soon learned that I got three times the tips if
I'd have a shot WITH the customer.
Took to it like a duck to water.
I am an alcoholic.
Growing up in an alcoholic family, however,
I didn't begin my drinking 'career' until I was 42.
having been raised by an alcoholic and around them...
I knew the odds were stacked in my favor.
During these 'marriages' however -
I only 'sometimes' drank withthe spouse.
I was still in the codie/good acoa behavior
of remaining in the 'designated human' role
because with both of us derranged
no telling what would have happened.
Ironically
it wasn't until I was free of number four
that I found out
that a 'shot' or two
would stop
the panic adrenaline overloads when triggered into PTSD eposodes.
That was how it began.
It literally began with me saying that I NEEDED a shot to calm my nerve.
Through a series of 'unfortunate events'
non of which were alcohol generated or induced -
at the same time i lost my faith in any higher power's existance
and entered into a ... non-eternal-generated 3-d only world...
I got a job bartending
and soon learned that I got three times the tips if
I'd have a shot WITH the customer.
Took to it like a duck to water.
First time I heard all dat Barb. :-)
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 464
Hey Ali.. know what its like havin your head up yer butt...if someone dont see they have a problem..what can yer do...jus headin to work..havin to make up time..for missin a day last week...yes you guessed..with the drink...btw..you do all that art stuff yerself..like your character pics?...Barb how long you been free from booze?
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 464
Yeah i thought as much...with all that fire power...wouldnt wanna mess with that gal...or forget to take your wallet on a date...
...so i take it you like to paint flowers an such like...only jestin...tx.
...so i take it you like to paint flowers an such like...only jestin...tx.
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Here's one of my pieces: :-)
What you can't see is that the person chained and drowning in alcohol bottles and pills is that he's wearing an abstract mask symbolism in addition to hiding - Our complexity. The figure on top of the box has his mask removed and it is still attached by the strongs laying on his back. This represents any figure in the alcoholics life who overcame, but the mask remains attached because we can never let the memory of what we were completely go. He is trying to reach the suffering alcoholic, the fact that he's suspended in the action of this hard work and still has the mask attached is symbolic that we need to always work in recovery. Or the mask can be easily put back on.
What you can't see is that the person chained and drowning in alcohol bottles and pills is that he's wearing an abstract mask symbolism in addition to hiding - Our complexity. The figure on top of the box has his mask removed and it is still attached by the strongs laying on his back. This represents any figure in the alcoholics life who overcame, but the mask remains attached because we can never let the memory of what we were completely go. He is trying to reach the suffering alcoholic, the fact that he's suspended in the action of this hard work and still has the mask attached is symbolic that we need to always work in recovery. Or the mask can be easily put back on.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 464
I that Like that self expression and imagination...of black an white...do you exhibet your pieces...do you sell your pieces? art is something you can be totally contraversial with and almost revolutionary with ,an no one bats an eyelid...
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
I haven't shown in a while. In my 20's I did show in local small galleries. I have sold in my more busier days! My last show was just at a small local coffee shop about two years ago. This was my favorite place to display regardless! Because my AA group friends could easily see my work. Now that's having the best audience in the whole wide world to me!
Thanks for asking - Reminds me of what my art teacher once said: Most artists are egotistical, we appreciate any opportunity to talk about ourselves and our work! ha ha! Progress not perfection!
Thanks for asking - Reminds me of what my art teacher once said: Most artists are egotistical, we appreciate any opportunity to talk about ourselves and our work! ha ha! Progress not perfection!
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