katie53

Im sitting here with my morning coffee and thinking of my ad being in jail. I don't care. I trully don't care. She is my only child but it's as though I have no feelings left for her. When I have friends, who say "i'm so sorry about what you're going through, it must be so hard for you". They're wrong. I juat don't care. How can this be? There was a time in the beginning of this crack addiction that I cryed, prayed, and would check the phone to see if I missed a call from her. Now if I miss a call, I don't even call her back until I want to..Can a mom actually loose love for her child? Do I need help? Do other mom's feel like this? Thanks for listening.

Freedom1990

I've been through so much with my AD that I am like you. I won't say that I don't love her because she will always be my first born, and I don't think you can unlove a child.

However I do believe we eventually reach a point where what they do with their lives no longer affects us. My AD has created such chaos in the past that I keep my walls up as self-preservation of my own sanity/peace of mind.

I choose to have contact with my AD because my 14 year old granddaughter now lives with her, and I want a good relationship with my granddaughter, which I have.

When I do have contact with my AD, it's short and to the point. I long ago gave up hope that she will find recovery, but I do have faith that God has a plan for her that I just don't understand.

Make any sense?

:ghug3 :ghug3

sojourner

katie53: Welcome. You certainly will find many of us who have come to the place you are at. It is actually a good place. A heart can only take so much stress and grief, and it sounds like, for this episode, that's where you are at.

I'm thinking what you're experiencing is detachment from your daughter's problems. It's a place we parents have to come to with our adult children, whether they are addicted to drugs or not. It's a healthy place where we can empathize with our adult children but at the same time not bear the emotional burden of it hour after hour, day after day. It's a healthy place where we say to ourselves and to our adult children at times, "I love you, i know you're suffering, and I also know you can figure out how to get through this."

So, you see, you are not feeling a lack of love for your adult child - you are experiencing a great deal of love and respect for your adult child. Your discomfort may be from the fact that this is new for you and from the fact that your adult daughter's addiction will fight this tooth and nail.

Hang in there, keep coming back!!

JMFburns

Katie,

How long is your daughter in jail? I ask, because I know for me, when my son is in jail (only overnight or weekend stint so far) or in detox/treatment, I know he's safe and I can happily go on about my life not having to worry about him. (Wrong, I know but it is reality.) Thus I really don't care about him at that moment.

Just wondered if that might be some of it.