Lost Brain Cells??

Old 04-08-2010, 07:28 PM
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Lost Brain Cells??

Tonite my 15 yr gd and I went to a school talent show. I was looking forward to just spending time with her at something she enjoyed. Now, gd had spring break last week and her mom never come around, just called her once in awhile. She never showed up on Easter even though she told her daughter she would be here at 4. So tonite while we areat the show her mom's (new) bf calls her cell to tell her that her mom is in jail!!! apparently her mom told him to call her! This is not the first time she has done this and I talked to ad about it and told her not to be telling her child this garbage. I did leave her a message the Mon. after Easter and told her to no longer make plans with her girls as she does not follow through. I told her she can call me to see if I'm home and then she can come over if she chooses to but there will be no more telling the girls her plans. I never heard back. And then this call tonite. WHY does she do this? Why doesn't she call ME if she needs to let someone know? I hate that she puts this on her daughter. Do they not think at all!! Thanks for hearing me, I get so frustrated with this 35 yr. that thinks shes her daughters best friend!!
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Old 04-08-2010, 07:34 PM
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Ann
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That really stinks, Katie, I'd be upset too.

If you have told her this and if she just ignored your request, perhaps don't take calls from the boyfriend at all, and maybe not even from her.

Your granddaughters are blessed to have you in their lives, and you are wise to put their best interest first.

Keeping you all in my prayers.

Hugs
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Old 04-08-2010, 07:41 PM
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How awful Katie. I can relate from a different perspective.

Tonight my little boy asked me if he could call his daddy. Now his daddy is on a downhill slide back into fullblown crack addiction. My little one doesn't know that though. All he knows is that he misses his daddy and wants to talk to him.

It's so hard. It's MY JOB to take care of my little boy - to protect him from his fathers illogical, irresponsible behavior. Those are the toughest boundaries to enforce - the ones that force me into a position of not allowing my son to have a relationship with his father.

But I did it. I told him daddy had to go far far away and he didn't have a phone where he was. I told him that when daddy came back he would call him.

That was it.

My little guy accepted it with one question. "Jeez momma. Why didn't he bring his phone?!"

What a time we live in!

LOL.

It was hard. But it was for the best.

Addicts lie and manipulate. They are just not capable of making logical healthy choices because of their addiction. They are not capable of thinking about anyone else but themselves. That's the nature of addiction.

How is the 15 year old doing? I can't imagine dealing with this when my son is a teenager. It's hard enough when he is in preschool.
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Old 04-08-2010, 08:15 PM
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Thank you, it always feels good to know I have friends that can relate. i realize I'm expecting someone to be considerate when she can only think of herself. This crack will destroy all in it's path. The 15 yr old is doing ok. She has gone to counseling as she has a tendency to hold her feelings in. I thought about getting her the codependency book to read but don't know if it would be to much for her. I proberly under estimate her as she has gone through alot and is quite mature for her age. I just want her to be a giggly teen girl. She's a good student and responsble but i see a sadness in her at times. I think she longs for what isn't there anymore. I tell her I have hope that someday mom will beat this, but I think gd lost that hope in her mom.
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