hektic

Hey guys, figured I'd give this a shot.. My name is James, I'm 24 and finishing up college now. I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic but the fact I looked it up and found this forum does say something. I'm attending school for my Masters in forensic psychology right now, I guess one would call me a functioning alcoholic if someone had to put a name to it.

I drink everyday, when I wake up I have vodka mixed with something, and throughout the day I keep it going. I never get drunk but I'm never sober completely either. I hide it well I guess, no one knows really at all. But, I think its time for a change, I can't risk my career and my life.

Why I started drinking, just a lot of confusing personal identity problems I suppose, I'm sure it was a lot of reasons combined though. I think it's time for me to get help. I don't have insurance now while in school so I can't really see a professional, any advice on how I can start just getting better, I want to remember and feel what its like to not have a drink in me again.

armaviva

hi james!! and welcome. i personally don't do any kind of program like AA or anything but if you want help maybe you should look into that. its freeee and helps a lot of people. keep coming back here too

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us and that you have decided to stop drinking.

It is always a good idea to talk to your dr before you stop drinking, because it can be dangerous to detox from alcohol.

I was also a closet-drinker, and tried my best to fool everyone. It's awful living a life that is such a lie, and I realized later, I wasn't fooling everyone as much as I thought I was.

Anyways, there is lots of support here at SR, so I hope you keep reading and posting.

Horselover

Welcome to SR, James. You are on the right road. I started questioning my drinking in my 20s, but unfortunately it took me long after that to finally quit. Hope you are smarter then me.

Dee74

Hi James

Do US schools have counsellors and such?

I'm not sure about there but it's the case where I live - that might be a good way to start, unless insurance impacts that as well...

I do agree with Anna tho - regardless of the cost, a doctor is a great first step. Detox can sometimes be dangerous.

A recovery programme (and there are several kinds available) is another option, and cost free

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html

and of course SR is always available too

I was good at hiding it too...until I wasn't. This really is a progressive thing - you're right to want to deal with it now

You'll find a lot of support here - welcome!
D

least

Welcome to SR! I'm glad you're giving up drinking at a young age. By quitting now you can avoid some very serious problems to your health and your way of life. I'm glad you found us and joined the family.

NEOMARXIST

Hi there. I am 24 now and got sober at 23. I was totally the opposite to you as I was terrible at hiding it! LOL. I could last about 10 minutes before anyone knew I was drinking! Wasted after about an hour. The point being that evrybody's drinking behaviour/patterns are very different but if you're an alcoholic then they all end up with no drinking at all 'just for today'. Or jail, institutions or death if you continue to drink.

I think the fact that you're drinking as soon as you wake up is a sure sign that your drinking has crossed many boundaries. Like I say I drank in the mornings also but only for a couple of days on benders. I was far from functional. However i guess I used to 'manage' it before i lost my job, car and nearly a roof over my head.

Alcoholism is progressive so inevitably the control will all go out the window and you'll end up losing everything, and probably quite quickly too if you're an alcoholic. It won't give any warning either but may just come as an all-mighty panic attack or something.

You may find that you have to work a programme of recovery to change your 'thinking' inorder to stay happily stopped.

coffeenut

Welcome, James. Glad you're here.

hektic

Thanks for the advice and support