What Can I Expect?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Port Orford, OR
Posts: 5
What Can I Expect?
Hello,
My boyfriend's brother is coming from Maine to live with us in Oregon in order to get clean from oxy. Neither of us have any experience with the drug or any type of addiction and detox, and I want to know what we're in for and what we can do to help him.
Can anyone give me some advice?
Thanks...
My boyfriend's brother is coming from Maine to live with us in Oregon in order to get clean from oxy. Neither of us have any experience with the drug or any type of addiction and detox, and I want to know what we're in for and what we can do to help him.
Can anyone give me some advice?
Thanks...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Expect your stuff to be stolen. It doesn't matter that you two are Brother and Brother's SO to him, if he is still addicted all of your stuff is at risk. Lock up every single thing that has a street value - antiques, collectibles, guns, electronic equipment - anything that could be taken to a pawn shop. You might consider renting a storage unit and moving stuff in there. On valuables that cannot be stored, like your TV set, register the Serial Number with the police so he cannot take it to a reputable pawn shop.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
you can't monitor his recovery process, but you can put rules in place, as you would for any person living under your roof. hopefully your bf will be on board with this. do you have a timeline for how long he's going to be there? i would think this might be the most important, so that you don't feel trapped down the road and if you change your minds (cuz he is not doing well, or not being a good houseguest) it will be really hard to tell him to hit the bricks. perhaps you could tell him at the onset that his tenancy will be for four months, but in three months if you like the way things are going for you all, ask him if he would like an extension. it's really tough to be stuck with someone and have to tell them to leave.
also, houserules when he first get there. again, so it's not like you're nagging at him later when he doesn't do things you may expect (like take one housechore a week, wash dinner dishes twice a week). if it were me i'd say "everyone in this house chooses a chore and on saturday morning we say "I'm gonna vacuum" or "I'm gonna clean the bathroom".
hope he's detoxed when he gets there - else he could be ugly.
also, houserules when he first get there. again, so it's not like you're nagging at him later when he doesn't do things you may expect (like take one housechore a week, wash dinner dishes twice a week). if it were me i'd say "everyone in this house chooses a chore and on saturday morning we say "I'm gonna vacuum" or "I'm gonna clean the bathroom".
hope he's detoxed when he gets there - else he could be ugly.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 83
KC,
Welcome to SR. You'll find a lot of ES&H (Experience, Strength and Hope) here and I hope you can take away what ever you need to deal with your current situation.
On several occasions I made the choice to bring Recovering Addicts into my home because they needed a place to stay, needed to get away from an old neighborhood, were waiting to collect a deposit check so they could sign a lease on a new place, etc.
On every one of those occasions I was taken advantage of, had my property stolen, was physically threatened, implicated in some sort of drug conspiracy, or worse.
From your post you have not given any indication of whether your brother in law is a) still using; b) is currently detoxing and will be joining you after the detox is finished; or c) has been clean for a little while and needs a fresh start somewhere else.
If it is scenario a) he is still using, and is only 'thinking' about quitting, or worse, thinks that moving to a new state will 'solve' his personal problems and will allow him to moderate, control, and finally enjoy his using, then I can only urge you to slam the door on this idea as fast as possible. As others have already alluded to, nothing will turn your household upside down as quickly as the arrival of an actively using addict, despite whatever protestations to the contrary he gives you, including a promise to get clean.
If it is scenario b) I would still be extremely cautious. Addicts are extremely volatile in early recovery, particularly if they have been using for a long time and are experiencing collateral health, financial, vocational or legal problems due to their using. If that is the case then I would still personally prohibit him from moving into your home, until he has some time (preferably at least 90 days) clean.
If it is scenario c) then I would still be cautious, but there is at least a little bit more room for optimism.
Regardless of what his personal circumstances are, all I can suggest is, make it quite clear to your husband as well as your brother in law what behaviors you are willing to tolerate and what consequences will occur if those behaviors occur. Around here that is known as 'setting boundaries' and it is an instrumental process for anyone who has to live around an addict, either one who is still using or one who is just getting clean.
And as Gill said, make sure you lock up EVERYTHING that has any possible resale value at the local pawn shop!
On two occasions that I remember, I let addicts into my home each of whom had more than a year clean. One of them relapsed two weeks after moving in, and stole my computer, iPod, cell phone, and several other items that he bartered to a drug dealer on the street in exchange for drugs. The second one went into my desk and stole checks out of my check book which he then cashed at the local bank, clearing out my entire savings account. He was clean at the time, but just a remorseless thief in addition to being a recovering addict, and he is now serving time in federal prison for a whole rash of bank related fraud including that little episode. I only mention these incidents because these are the very likely consequences of bringing an addict into your home.
Is there some reason why your brother in law cannot get his own place, or at the very least move into a local recovery house? Even if your husband insists on moving him into your home, how long does he plan on being there? The last thing you need is a third person in your marriage!
You struck me when you said that neither you nor your husband had any knowledge or experience of addiction. I urge you to linger on this site as much as you have to, and read the stickies at the top, because there is an enormous amount of experience on this site that you might profit from before you open this pandora's box...
MZ
Welcome to SR. You'll find a lot of ES&H (Experience, Strength and Hope) here and I hope you can take away what ever you need to deal with your current situation.
On several occasions I made the choice to bring Recovering Addicts into my home because they needed a place to stay, needed to get away from an old neighborhood, were waiting to collect a deposit check so they could sign a lease on a new place, etc.
On every one of those occasions I was taken advantage of, had my property stolen, was physically threatened, implicated in some sort of drug conspiracy, or worse.
From your post you have not given any indication of whether your brother in law is a) still using; b) is currently detoxing and will be joining you after the detox is finished; or c) has been clean for a little while and needs a fresh start somewhere else.
If it is scenario a) he is still using, and is only 'thinking' about quitting, or worse, thinks that moving to a new state will 'solve' his personal problems and will allow him to moderate, control, and finally enjoy his using, then I can only urge you to slam the door on this idea as fast as possible. As others have already alluded to, nothing will turn your household upside down as quickly as the arrival of an actively using addict, despite whatever protestations to the contrary he gives you, including a promise to get clean.
If it is scenario b) I would still be extremely cautious. Addicts are extremely volatile in early recovery, particularly if they have been using for a long time and are experiencing collateral health, financial, vocational or legal problems due to their using. If that is the case then I would still personally prohibit him from moving into your home, until he has some time (preferably at least 90 days) clean.
If it is scenario c) then I would still be cautious, but there is at least a little bit more room for optimism.
Regardless of what his personal circumstances are, all I can suggest is, make it quite clear to your husband as well as your brother in law what behaviors you are willing to tolerate and what consequences will occur if those behaviors occur. Around here that is known as 'setting boundaries' and it is an instrumental process for anyone who has to live around an addict, either one who is still using or one who is just getting clean.
And as Gill said, make sure you lock up EVERYTHING that has any possible resale value at the local pawn shop!
On two occasions that I remember, I let addicts into my home each of whom had more than a year clean. One of them relapsed two weeks after moving in, and stole my computer, iPod, cell phone, and several other items that he bartered to a drug dealer on the street in exchange for drugs. The second one went into my desk and stole checks out of my check book which he then cashed at the local bank, clearing out my entire savings account. He was clean at the time, but just a remorseless thief in addition to being a recovering addict, and he is now serving time in federal prison for a whole rash of bank related fraud including that little episode. I only mention these incidents because these are the very likely consequences of bringing an addict into your home.
Is there some reason why your brother in law cannot get his own place, or at the very least move into a local recovery house? Even if your husband insists on moving him into your home, how long does he plan on being there? The last thing you need is a third person in your marriage!
You struck me when you said that neither you nor your husband had any knowledge or experience of addiction. I urge you to linger on this site as much as you have to, and read the stickies at the top, because there is an enormous amount of experience on this site that you might profit from before you open this pandora's box...
MZ
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Port Orford, OR
Posts: 5
Thank you to everyone who has replied.
From what I know, he took his last "dose" yesterday morning before flying out here. Right now, he is sequestered in the spare bedroom. In our house, it's just my boyfriend and I and our three animals. The town I live in has a total population of 1200, with no pawn shop within 50 miles. Also, since we have lived here a while, we pretty much know everyone in town. I have strategically spread the word that we want him to stay sober, so we have that going for us. We already planned to have one of us here with him at all times. My boyfriends job allows for him to be here, and I work out of the house most days anyway.
I am more worried about what are the "normal" stages and symptoms rather than theft at this point. I know that may be naive, but we have a good network of friends that are also willing to help us out if we both need to be out of the home for a while. Also, we did talk with him about the ground rules and how if he does mess up, he's out. We also have some lines on employment for when he's ready...but we're taking it one day at a time right now.
So that being said, what are the symptoms that we need to be aware of, and what can we do to help?
Thanks again...
From what I know, he took his last "dose" yesterday morning before flying out here. Right now, he is sequestered in the spare bedroom. In our house, it's just my boyfriend and I and our three animals. The town I live in has a total population of 1200, with no pawn shop within 50 miles. Also, since we have lived here a while, we pretty much know everyone in town. I have strategically spread the word that we want him to stay sober, so we have that going for us. We already planned to have one of us here with him at all times. My boyfriends job allows for him to be here, and I work out of the house most days anyway.
I am more worried about what are the "normal" stages and symptoms rather than theft at this point. I know that may be naive, but we have a good network of friends that are also willing to help us out if we both need to be out of the home for a while. Also, we did talk with him about the ground rules and how if he does mess up, he's out. We also have some lines on employment for when he's ready...but we're taking it one day at a time right now.
So that being said, what are the symptoms that we need to be aware of, and what can we do to help?
Thanks again...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 83
KC
Was he at the end of a detox program when he took his last "dose" yesterday morning? Were they weening him off slowly? Or did he take his last dose of something that he bought on the street?
If he is not coming from a detox program and he last used yesterday morning, then you can expect withdrawal symptoms to start right about now (Sunday evening, Pacific Time) or tomorrow (Monday) at the latest, which will include nausea, sweating, cramps, extreme joint pain, and a whole host of other ailments.
We are instructed NOT to give or ask for medical advice on this board, and I am certainly in no position to do so anyway, all I can tell you is that if he is not coming from a detox program then you need to seek out medical attention for him IMMEDIATELY! Withdrawal is absolutely nothing to fool around with, it can be fatal for anyone going through it who is not under medical supervision. If that is the case I suggest you get him to a doctor as soon as possible - certainly do not wait until past tomorrow.
I laud all the efforts that you have made to assure constant supervision, protect your valuables, set boundaries, but just remember that addicts are EXTREMELY clever, and can outthink even the most well prepared caretaker. It doesn't mean that they are 'evil' or 'criminal' people - it's just what addicts learn to do, and very quickly, in order to protect their disease and their insatiable desire to take drugs. I strongly suggest that you remain vigilant at all times. I think others on this board will probably agree that if you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, then chances are it is.
MZ
Was he at the end of a detox program when he took his last "dose" yesterday morning? Were they weening him off slowly? Or did he take his last dose of something that he bought on the street?
If he is not coming from a detox program and he last used yesterday morning, then you can expect withdrawal symptoms to start right about now (Sunday evening, Pacific Time) or tomorrow (Monday) at the latest, which will include nausea, sweating, cramps, extreme joint pain, and a whole host of other ailments.
We are instructed NOT to give or ask for medical advice on this board, and I am certainly in no position to do so anyway, all I can tell you is that if he is not coming from a detox program then you need to seek out medical attention for him IMMEDIATELY! Withdrawal is absolutely nothing to fool around with, it can be fatal for anyone going through it who is not under medical supervision. If that is the case I suggest you get him to a doctor as soon as possible - certainly do not wait until past tomorrow.
I laud all the efforts that you have made to assure constant supervision, protect your valuables, set boundaries, but just remember that addicts are EXTREMELY clever, and can outthink even the most well prepared caretaker. It doesn't mean that they are 'evil' or 'criminal' people - it's just what addicts learn to do, and very quickly, in order to protect their disease and their insatiable desire to take drugs. I strongly suggest that you remain vigilant at all times. I think others on this board will probably agree that if you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, then chances are it is.
MZ
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
He should start sneezing and yawning a lot any time now, and will have diarrhea, restless leg syndrome, possibly some vomiting... he'll look like he has a nasty case of the flu but feel worse than that. I helped my daughter through one cold turkey detox and she said it felt like hot daggers were stabbing her entire body.
Please be aware there's always a possibility of seizures
I won't EVER help my daughter through detox like that again. Not because I'm a weenie, because what she went through is way out of my league.
Please be aware there's always a possibility of seizures
I won't EVER help my daughter through detox like that again. Not because I'm a weenie, because what she went through is way out of my league.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by wuzzled 
A roller coaster ride!
Educate yourself with all you can about addiction.
This will have a profound affect on your lives.
Educate yourself with all you can about addiction.
This will have a profound affect on your lives.
Truer words couldn't be spoken!
Fasten your seatbelt.
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
The town I live in has a total population of 1200, with no pawn shop within 50 miles
Also, since we have lived here a while, we pretty much know everyone in town.
I have strategically spread the word that we want him to stay sober, so we have that going for us
We already planned to have one of us here with him at all times. My boyfriends job allows for him to be here, and I work out of the house most days anyway.
Does your addict have a plan for recovery? What happens after detox? What about meetings, those are essential for one's recovery. You have told us your plans for this addicts recovery but what are HIS plans. Because it's his plans not yours that will keep him sober.
Set your boundaries and lock up your valuables.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Port Orford, OR
Posts: 5
Thank you again for your input. We're going to do our best to try and help him get through this so he can get his life back together. I thank everyone for their advice and passage of knowledge.
Today he is beginning to feel pretty bad. He can't get more than an hour of sleep at a time, and he's pretty chilly. He said he feels like he has the flu. The motherly instinct in me is having a hard time not babying him like I do my BF when he is sick...
I have a call into the local doctor and am awaiting a call back. Now that the offices are open, I'm also going to get some information about the local NA meetings. Before any of this, I had no idea there were resources like that here...amazing how fast life comes at you.
Today he is beginning to feel pretty bad. He can't get more than an hour of sleep at a time, and he's pretty chilly. He said he feels like he has the flu. The motherly instinct in me is having a hard time not babying him like I do my BF when he is sick...
I have a call into the local doctor and am awaiting a call back. Now that the offices are open, I'm also going to get some information about the local NA meetings. Before any of this, I had no idea there were resources like that here...amazing how fast life comes at you.
ThatLittleGirl
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 273
force the addict to become a prisoner in your home and in turn the two of you will become his warden. THIS WILL NOT WORK. I know you think this is a good idea but trust me it's not, it's not fair to you nor is it fair to the addict. Again keeping the addict within your sight at all times is not going to keep him from using. In fact it will probably lead him to use. - I agree with this...from experience...you will not be able to control his behavior at all...remember, he's going to be an insomniac for awhile...up all night...pacing...unless you are watching him 24 hours a day, there will be times when he is not being "supervised".
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((KCSunshine)) - just wanted to point out that, if there are NA meetings in your small town, there are obviously other ADDICTS in your small town. You may want to re-think the advice about protecting your money and valuables.
I'm a recovering addict, and ((Jerect)) said is correct...we do have something like a radar. I could go into any town and find what I needed/wanted if I was so inclined.
I'm not saying there's no hope..I've got 3 years clean, but I had to want it way more than I wanted to get high. I got to THAT point by being faced to deal with the consequences of my using, and his withdrawal symptoms are part of his consequences.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm a recovering addict, and ((Jerect)) said is correct...we do have something like a radar. I could go into any town and find what I needed/wanted if I was so inclined.
I'm not saying there's no hope..I've got 3 years clean, but I had to want it way more than I wanted to get high. I got to THAT point by being faced to deal with the consequences of my using, and his withdrawal symptoms are part of his consequences.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Hi Welcome. Read all you can on this site. There are a lot of great people here who have been through what you are about to go through and more. They will be able to provide you with lots of insite and education about what a nightmare having an unrecovered addict living under your roof can be.
My best advice for you would be to work on your personal boundaries. You may want to do a search on this site to learn as much as you can about boundaries and then make sure take the time to write down YOUR PERSONAL BOUNDARIES - A list of the kind of behavior you will and will not accept in your life and in your home. Also write down the action you will take if those boundaries are violated. The actions you will take are key to enforcing your boundaries. Those are consequences, and without them, boundaries are useless.
Just a hint to start - boundaries are "I" statements. They are about YOU. You cannot control anyone elses behavior or choices but your own.
If your BFs brother wants to get and stay clean he will. If he doesn't, he won't. You can't fix him. But providing him a safe place to stay is very nice of you. And with firm boundaries in place, you'll have what you need to ensure that you are not being taken advantage of. And you be in a better position to take swift action should anything negative happen.
Good luck to him. I hope is serious about staying clean because active addiction always ends in jails, institutions or death.
My best advice for you would be to work on your personal boundaries. You may want to do a search on this site to learn as much as you can about boundaries and then make sure take the time to write down YOUR PERSONAL BOUNDARIES - A list of the kind of behavior you will and will not accept in your life and in your home. Also write down the action you will take if those boundaries are violated. The actions you will take are key to enforcing your boundaries. Those are consequences, and without them, boundaries are useless.
Just a hint to start - boundaries are "I" statements. They are about YOU. You cannot control anyone elses behavior or choices but your own.
If your BFs brother wants to get and stay clean he will. If he doesn't, he won't. You can't fix him. But providing him a safe place to stay is very nice of you. And with firm boundaries in place, you'll have what you need to ensure that you are not being taken advantage of. And you be in a better position to take swift action should anything negative happen.
Good luck to him. I hope is serious about staying clean because active addiction always ends in jails, institutions or death.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
it will be hard for you to not obsess over your new houseguest, but just do your best. you don't want him to turn into your new "project".
jerect brought up good points. but i just want to point out that it is his/her opinion, where in the post it was stated as fact. addict do recover, just not at an alarmingly high rate. in reading that post, i kept inserting the word "may" in front of all the statements.
but he's right about the radar. i saw my b/f turn from a sweet loving guy to a selfish, demanding, manipulative junkie right in front of my eyes, when i was holding his drug (methadone) and said i wasn't going to give it to him once. it was kinda scary, in the sense that i knew i would be absolutely no match for him. and he cared about me!
just stay the course (with the dr advice) while he is withdrawing. he could break things, say really ugly things, threaten you, and more. know that it won't last.
also, i hope you aren't the one in the driver's seat of his sobriety. he can find an n/a meeting, and then get himself there, when that time comes in a few days.
jerect brought up good points. but i just want to point out that it is his/her opinion, where in the post it was stated as fact. addict do recover, just not at an alarmingly high rate. in reading that post, i kept inserting the word "may" in front of all the statements.
but he's right about the radar. i saw my b/f turn from a sweet loving guy to a selfish, demanding, manipulative junkie right in front of my eyes, when i was holding his drug (methadone) and said i wasn't going to give it to him once. it was kinda scary, in the sense that i knew i would be absolutely no match for him. and he cared about me!
just stay the course (with the dr advice) while he is withdrawing. he could break things, say really ugly things, threaten you, and more. know that it won't last.
also, i hope you aren't the one in the driver's seat of his sobriety. he can find an n/a meeting, and then get himself there, when that time comes in a few days.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Whether he goes to NA or not, best to get yourselves to a few Alanon or Naranon meetings - the meetings for friends and famlies of alcoholics and addicts.
Each and every one of us in this forum has at least considered doing what you are doing, we tried to educate ourselves, get geared up to help and save/rescue/cure the addict or alcoholic in our life.
Then, when that failed....we wanted to dump them for not cooperating.
Who do you think had responsibility for us feeling used and wronged?
Each of us is responsibile for ourselves.
But it takes experience, sometimes, to learn that. So as you go forward with your plan, consider that if it doesn't work, after all this good advice... perhaps that same thing is true for the addict. He or she receives tons of good advice about why and how to quit... and fails pretty often when they try.
Doesn't mean they didn't try hard enough, or that they didn't listen to the advice... it just means that have to learn some of this by experience.
And who knows... maybe your BIL will be one of the exceptions that make it!! That would be wonderful, actually. For everyone. And that is my prayer for you and your family.
Please stop in and let us know how you are doing.... keep checking back. ((Hugs))
Each and every one of us in this forum has at least considered doing what you are doing, we tried to educate ourselves, get geared up to help and save/rescue/cure the addict or alcoholic in our life.
Then, when that failed....we wanted to dump them for not cooperating.
Who do you think had responsibility for us feeling used and wronged?
Each of us is responsibile for ourselves.
But it takes experience, sometimes, to learn that. So as you go forward with your plan, consider that if it doesn't work, after all this good advice... perhaps that same thing is true for the addict. He or she receives tons of good advice about why and how to quit... and fails pretty often when they try.
Doesn't mean they didn't try hard enough, or that they didn't listen to the advice... it just means that have to learn some of this by experience.
And who knows... maybe your BIL will be one of the exceptions that make it!! That would be wonderful, actually. For everyone. And that is my prayer for you and your family.
Please stop in and let us know how you are doing.... keep checking back. ((Hugs))
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Portland OR
Posts: 25
Wow, I am surprised by the harshness of some of these posts.
But I understand where they are coming from-- I've known addicts who were really far gone (heroin, prostitution, etc) and definitely they will steal anything that they can, assuming they can find somewhere to get a fix (not difficult in Portland, OR).
On the other hand, nobody asked you how bad of an addict your bf's brother is. Oxy addicts are a diverse group and not all of them are as bad as the worst of them.
If he is a relatively low-dose user-- say, under 80 mg a day-- and he is a short term user-- under a year-- and you live in a small town and he doesn't know anybody-- I'd say that many of these posts exaggerate the threat of theft. He can detox cold turkey from that kind of dose in a couple of weeks, although it isn't very fun.
On the other hand, if he uses more than that, and has been using for a long period of time, it is likely you are in for one helluva difficult trip and I'd strongly recommend you find a doctor to assist his detox with medication, such as suboxone.
Suboxone doesn't get you high but blocks the cravings and also blocks the effects of street opiates-- so even if he did manage to score some heroin, it wouldn't do him much good. You can go to a public clinic or just find a doctor who specializes in addiction recovery. I recommend a private doctor over public clinics. If you have trouble finding one, try NAABT.org, they will find you a referral.
If you were just wondering what his symptoms will be-- I'll tell you. He'll up be up all night at weird hours. He will seem extremely lazy. He will crave candy and junk food. If you want to help him, find things to distract him-- I find that video games work really well. Get him hooked on World of Warcraft and you'll get hours of peace.
Good luck and God bless!
But I understand where they are coming from-- I've known addicts who were really far gone (heroin, prostitution, etc) and definitely they will steal anything that they can, assuming they can find somewhere to get a fix (not difficult in Portland, OR).
On the other hand, nobody asked you how bad of an addict your bf's brother is. Oxy addicts are a diverse group and not all of them are as bad as the worst of them.
If he is a relatively low-dose user-- say, under 80 mg a day-- and he is a short term user-- under a year-- and you live in a small town and he doesn't know anybody-- I'd say that many of these posts exaggerate the threat of theft. He can detox cold turkey from that kind of dose in a couple of weeks, although it isn't very fun.
On the other hand, if he uses more than that, and has been using for a long period of time, it is likely you are in for one helluva difficult trip and I'd strongly recommend you find a doctor to assist his detox with medication, such as suboxone.
Suboxone doesn't get you high but blocks the cravings and also blocks the effects of street opiates-- so even if he did manage to score some heroin, it wouldn't do him much good. You can go to a public clinic or just find a doctor who specializes in addiction recovery. I recommend a private doctor over public clinics. If you have trouble finding one, try NAABT.org, they will find you a referral.
If you were just wondering what his symptoms will be-- I'll tell you. He'll up be up all night at weird hours. He will seem extremely lazy. He will crave candy and junk food. If you want to help him, find things to distract him-- I find that video games work really well. Get him hooked on World of Warcraft and you'll get hours of peace.
Good luck and God bless!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Port Orford, OR
Posts: 5
Thank you again for your support!
First, I have locked up all of our drugs except for vitamins. Today, he said that his legs couldn't stop moving, but from what I have read, that is fairly normal. He's used to working, so the boredom is getting to him a little bit. Thank goodness he likes baseball...
On another note, he cleaned up the kitchen today, and lamented that he couldn't help us out with that sort of stuff yet. He said he's eager to get a job to begin contributing, and seems to think he's gonna be "normal" in a couple of days. I doubt that, but I'm heartened by his optimism and want to help around the house.
And he's not a prisoner in our house. We want to be here to help him out and keep him occupied, not to constrain his movements. He is his own person and we made it clear that he cannot use and expect to stay with us. Besides the lathargy that he feels right now, the weather has been typical of coastal spring with winds, rain, hail, and general nastiness.
I know that I might be naive, but I don't know how to be any other way than supportive and hopeful. He doesn't want to use again, and he doesn't want to go back to the physical and mental state he was in before. I hope that his move out here, and his feelings of obligation to not take advantage of our kindness, will remain the further we go in to this.
Lastly, I'm not sure what his level of use was. He said it was a "several hundred dollar a week habit", but I don't know what that translates to.
One question...he has never been a drinker before. Is there a good possibility that he would start abusing alcohol now?
Thanks again...
First, I have locked up all of our drugs except for vitamins. Today, he said that his legs couldn't stop moving, but from what I have read, that is fairly normal. He's used to working, so the boredom is getting to him a little bit. Thank goodness he likes baseball...
On another note, he cleaned up the kitchen today, and lamented that he couldn't help us out with that sort of stuff yet. He said he's eager to get a job to begin contributing, and seems to think he's gonna be "normal" in a couple of days. I doubt that, but I'm heartened by his optimism and want to help around the house.
And he's not a prisoner in our house. We want to be here to help him out and keep him occupied, not to constrain his movements. He is his own person and we made it clear that he cannot use and expect to stay with us. Besides the lathargy that he feels right now, the weather has been typical of coastal spring with winds, rain, hail, and general nastiness.
I know that I might be naive, but I don't know how to be any other way than supportive and hopeful. He doesn't want to use again, and he doesn't want to go back to the physical and mental state he was in before. I hope that his move out here, and his feelings of obligation to not take advantage of our kindness, will remain the further we go in to this.
Lastly, I'm not sure what his level of use was. He said it was a "several hundred dollar a week habit", but I don't know what that translates to.
One question...he has never been a drinker before. Is there a good possibility that he would start abusing alcohol now?
Thanks again...
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