SparklingSeven

The fun is inverted commas for obvious reasons. I've reached a stage where I am kind of missing doing something "exciting". Bit of a Groundhog Day type feeling.

Also when dealing with life with it's many ups and downs it was good to be able to "enjoy" a bit of escapism - to get some relief form the stresses and strains. I don't have that any more.

I've stopped for reasonable periods before, and know from past experience that these feelings can be a signal that the rot has started again. The memory of the misery/sickness etc etc begins to dissipate slightly and the madness can start to creep in and you begin to think that it might be OK to try again...

BUT... I'm OK today. I'm sharing these thoughts to get them out there, stop that seed from germinating and taking root.

Sobriety is not all good, it's not a breeze, a piece of cake. But it's certainly infinately superior to the other option - just got to keep going a day at a time - and at the moment I am managing that and it's OK

I am 60 days sober today.

Stu.

aasharon90

I always feel better when i share with
another my experiences, strengths and
hopes of what it was like before during
and after drinking.

It allows me to get out of myself and
my self absorbed feelings and thoughts
and place my energy on someone else
struggling.

It helps me stay sober one more day
and i feel better.

As you read ur Big Book of Alcoholics
Anonymous which has all the answers
in helping us stay sober u will find it
says that the AA program insists that
we have fun in recovery.

And you can.

Im into graditude today and have been
since i got sober back in Aug. 1990.

Live, love and laugh.

Your life is just beginning and so
many awesome things are waiting
for you down the road with the
promises offered to us in our
AA program of recovery.

Stay strong one day at a time.

Stick with the winners and u
will be ok.

Commend urself for 30 one days at
a time collected together to get u
were u r today.

Dee74

Hi Stu

you're not alone - I recall two similar threads on this recently in this very forum.

I guess I'm lucky - I've either sated my fill for excitement, or (as I suspect) I was never really one for excitement - it was just where the drink led me. I'm happy to lead a quiet life now.

But if you want excitement I can't see any reason why you can't go out and look for it. There must be a million exciting and self-affirming things to do that don't involve drinking or drugging.

I'll add a caveat to my 'go look' advice tho - I don't mean to sound disparaging at all, but at 60 days I didn't know who I was at all - and, in fact, I see now who I was then was someone quite different to who I've ultimately become.

I was quite unsettled around this period. I realise now that PAWs may have been a factor, but I also feel I was looking for quick ways to heal and fill the 'void' I was feeling and for the quickest path to feeling normal. I too missed my escape. I'd escaped for the best part of 20 years.

I'm glad I resisted that impulse because I believe now that the slow pace of healing, and the patience involved in that, were actually fundamental parts to my recovery. Not escaping anymore was beneficial too - I grew up quickly by facing things and solving problems and dealing with stress in new positive non addictive ways. I learnt that immediate gratification was not always the best way to go.

That was my lesson. It may be inappropriate for you, I don't know.

Keep look for excitement by all means if you really think you're missing something - but be sure first that this isn't just an impatience issue, or some kind of compensation for the 'rush' you got as an alcoholic.

D

vegibean

Stu, good for you on your sixty!!! That's awesome. You have a great attitude, that will help you remain sober. Nope, not always a bowl of cherries, that's for sure, but it does keep getting better. Hang in there.

aasharon90

That's 60 one days at a time
collected together to get u
where u r today. SWEET!

least

Congrats on sixty days! I too miss the 'escape' drinking used to bring me... but I don't miss the regret, the self hatred, the feeling sick for days, the wasted money, the risk... And as long as the bad outweighs the good I will stay sober. Hope you can too.

SparklingSeven

Thanks folks - it's good to talk!!

NewMe11109

Congrats Stu - It does get better. I agree that PAWS might be a factor to consider. After I read more about it I went "so that's why I'm feeling this way!"

There are a lot of chemical processes in your brain that are re-normalizing now and it can take some time.

My best solution, though, when I am feeling down is to try to go help another person. This can be as simple as posting on SR and helping a newcomer to being a sponsor. It is really hard for me to feel sad about myself when I am focused on someone else. I'll admit that I am "helping" somewhat selfishly to keep myself sober, but that is a lot better than the alternative.

zandre

Congrats on 60 days! That is awesome. I'm on day 40 myself and being 21 in college I too sometimes feel like I'm missing out on some of the "fun" out there.

Keep up the good work!