Here it is
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Here it is
I cant believe my turd of a husband has turned this whole things around to be my fault and I fell for it!!!
He is the one who comitted fraud in his company and had the FBI on us.
He is the one who drank so much he fell down the stairs and we had to take him to the emergency room and he doesnt even remember any of that as I had to sit there with his dumb arse sister and her friend that she brought with her for suppport who once happened to be my husband's lover. Oh and lets not forget how his sister accused me of pushin him down the stairs.
I am the one who had to keep working while he lost his job and this dimwit was drunk every time the repairman came. I was mortified.
He would go outside to shovel the snow and come back drunk!!
He is the f*cker who wanted to do a part time rehab the first time around and that was a waste of time except I was still working and had to go once a week exhausted for their weekly 4 hour family night for 12 weeks
I am the one who got into a fight with his cousin who accused me of not loving my husband cause I didnt want to spend 75K in his defense. This lawyer was not the right type of lawyer and she knew it! And she wasnt in the mtg and I was and my gut said no. A year later everyone told me I made the right decision as my husband walked away scot free and the lawyer I found was better connected and was the type of lawyer we needed. My husband never defended me as this stupid arsed cousin was accusing me of awful things and the lawyer I found that was better expereinced in what we needed cost 25K not 75K like the fruity lawyer she wanted us to take and he didnt have the right creditionals and my stupid arsed husband kept talking to her even after she was fighting with me! Ugh
Then the times I would come home from work and he would be passed out drunk in the garage with the car running. I got so upset I threw up!
Then lets not forget how I caught him flirting with his friend while he was so drunk,. The next day he told me I made it up.
And lets not forget how he could go to his friends familys functiond while he wasnt drinking but not my sides functions.
Then the douchbag wanted to quit his new fulltime job because he got subponed and he had to go to court twice and he didnt think he could work. So I told him,.be a man. You cant quit and you need to pay the money back for what we spent for the lawyer. Well my lovely arse husband told his Cousin Mike who is his new enabler that I told him he needed to keep a part time job he had in order to pay the money back that we paid HIS lawyer cause I was money hungry. But that was a lie! I found myself in a conversation defending myself to his cousin Mike of how I am crazy because I went to his apartment to get my tax stuff and give him his stupid passport and bonds he still had here except he wouldnt answer my calls or emails so I went up there and my lovely husband when he saw me..who by the way we were never violent in any way. We were very passive ever since we have know each other and he got into his car and drove away from me and called his super to see if I was still there as he was scared and ran to Cousin Mike's house to be rescued from me who is 5'3 and size 8?? For what. He went running too cousin Mike and they called me and accused me of stalking him. Can I tell you my husband stalked me for 5 months but that isnt mentioned right?? And I found out my lovely husband was tryng to make himself look like the big man by telling his family I wouldnt leave him alone all those months he was calling, texting and stalking me! The lies. The lies.
Apparently the men in January who were moving his stuff out of here showed up 90 min early. Now this is slightly funny but I sleep with an air pirifier on. I like the noise. So I dont hear doorbells. Except these men looked a bit dangerous and they were ringing my tenants doorbell at 7:30am and no one can get through to me cause my alarm was set for 8am as they were coming at 9am. So after I get the panicked message from my tenant. I look outside and no one there so then they come to the door I say to them . You are 90 mins early and ringing my tenants bell. Isnt my husband your boss and he isnt here so call him. So I was half asleep and not a morning person so I was not nice. The moving guys went back and told cousin Mike that I am crazy. Now I see this whole thing in how they want me to look bad so my lovely husband can blame his drinking on my craziness.
And yes I was mad at him. And yes after his second rehab I wasnt feeling like being there and he went to live with cousin Mike. But being the charmer he is they love him now. Great. They are going to the lawyer with him and helping him with everything he needs. Enablers I say as he doesnt need help to by a television set that very much,. He is 33 years old.
So my husband was a lunatic drunk and that was ok but when I am being a lunatic cause I am pissed I am crazy. I tried to reconcile with him people!
The first time his opening was he told me not to eat the breadsticks due to my weight issues. The next time I saw him for a date night he told me he needed to leave early for a football game - yes ladies the night we were to work on our marriage. Another time I needed to run errands but he didnt feel like running those with me. Where is the progress? How the hell am I supposed to know this man loves me when he does the stupid ****.
The lastest is after he did all this to our family. He stopped talked to me because I caught him on match.com and ashleymadison.com which is for adult married affairs. How was I supposed to trust him and when I confronted him he turned it on me again!! He said he was lonely. NICE. This man has no viable braincells in his head and yet I still claim to love him and want to reconcile again. And these things were just the highlights. I must be crazy because this is by no means normal. I should be out there having some dates myself after his crazy rooten behavior. I deserve some fun too! I am Catholic so I feel like its a death sentence to me but yet he is all over the place I am sure. I truly believe a power higher than me can bring him to sanity but what am I crying for???
His sister was an idiot to me too and I always treated her with respect even when she got married before us and I was in her bridal party and her friends are all dating married men so you can see how I had nothing in commin with thos woman but I toughed it out. We got engaged after that and she never called me or returned calls to the bridal party. She ordered her dress over the phone and picked it up the night before our wedding. Oh and for my bridal shower, she claimed she had no ride and again brought the woman and at least left her downstairs that used to be my husbands lover. Nice right?? Did my husband say anything? Of course not. At this point, my next guy will have it easy. I have seen it all.
But seriouslt, he managed to turn it all on me and it worked for a while. But I am having this f*cker served asap. I want my husband to get better but reality it he is a patholigical liar. He was trying to hurt me when he told me he was happier alone and he didnt love me anymore. Ok fine. Alone it is. This douchbag begged me back and once I relented he started the games. My goodness. They people are really not in their right minds. I will run the other way. He doesnt deserve me and never did. thanks for listening to my very angry venting post. But how did I allow him to turn this on me?? Yes I was mad after all he did. But he tells me I need medication. Like he knows what normal is. Hope he gets all this back in his next relationship.
He is the one who comitted fraud in his company and had the FBI on us.
He is the one who drank so much he fell down the stairs and we had to take him to the emergency room and he doesnt even remember any of that as I had to sit there with his dumb arse sister and her friend that she brought with her for suppport who once happened to be my husband's lover. Oh and lets not forget how his sister accused me of pushin him down the stairs.
I am the one who had to keep working while he lost his job and this dimwit was drunk every time the repairman came. I was mortified.
He would go outside to shovel the snow and come back drunk!!
He is the f*cker who wanted to do a part time rehab the first time around and that was a waste of time except I was still working and had to go once a week exhausted for their weekly 4 hour family night for 12 weeks
I am the one who got into a fight with his cousin who accused me of not loving my husband cause I didnt want to spend 75K in his defense. This lawyer was not the right type of lawyer and she knew it! And she wasnt in the mtg and I was and my gut said no. A year later everyone told me I made the right decision as my husband walked away scot free and the lawyer I found was better connected and was the type of lawyer we needed. My husband never defended me as this stupid arsed cousin was accusing me of awful things and the lawyer I found that was better expereinced in what we needed cost 25K not 75K like the fruity lawyer she wanted us to take and he didnt have the right creditionals and my stupid arsed husband kept talking to her even after she was fighting with me! Ugh
Then the times I would come home from work and he would be passed out drunk in the garage with the car running. I got so upset I threw up!
Then lets not forget how I caught him flirting with his friend while he was so drunk,. The next day he told me I made it up.
And lets not forget how he could go to his friends familys functiond while he wasnt drinking but not my sides functions.
Then the douchbag wanted to quit his new fulltime job because he got subponed and he had to go to court twice and he didnt think he could work. So I told him,.be a man. You cant quit and you need to pay the money back for what we spent for the lawyer. Well my lovely arse husband told his Cousin Mike who is his new enabler that I told him he needed to keep a part time job he had in order to pay the money back that we paid HIS lawyer cause I was money hungry. But that was a lie! I found myself in a conversation defending myself to his cousin Mike of how I am crazy because I went to his apartment to get my tax stuff and give him his stupid passport and bonds he still had here except he wouldnt answer my calls or emails so I went up there and my lovely husband when he saw me..who by the way we were never violent in any way. We were very passive ever since we have know each other and he got into his car and drove away from me and called his super to see if I was still there as he was scared and ran to Cousin Mike's house to be rescued from me who is 5'3 and size 8?? For what. He went running too cousin Mike and they called me and accused me of stalking him. Can I tell you my husband stalked me for 5 months but that isnt mentioned right?? And I found out my lovely husband was tryng to make himself look like the big man by telling his family I wouldnt leave him alone all those months he was calling, texting and stalking me! The lies. The lies.
Apparently the men in January who were moving his stuff out of here showed up 90 min early. Now this is slightly funny but I sleep with an air pirifier on. I like the noise. So I dont hear doorbells. Except these men looked a bit dangerous and they were ringing my tenants doorbell at 7:30am and no one can get through to me cause my alarm was set for 8am as they were coming at 9am. So after I get the panicked message from my tenant. I look outside and no one there so then they come to the door I say to them . You are 90 mins early and ringing my tenants bell. Isnt my husband your boss and he isnt here so call him. So I was half asleep and not a morning person so I was not nice. The moving guys went back and told cousin Mike that I am crazy. Now I see this whole thing in how they want me to look bad so my lovely husband can blame his drinking on my craziness.
And yes I was mad at him. And yes after his second rehab I wasnt feeling like being there and he went to live with cousin Mike. But being the charmer he is they love him now. Great. They are going to the lawyer with him and helping him with everything he needs. Enablers I say as he doesnt need help to by a television set that very much,. He is 33 years old.
So my husband was a lunatic drunk and that was ok but when I am being a lunatic cause I am pissed I am crazy. I tried to reconcile with him people!
The first time his opening was he told me not to eat the breadsticks due to my weight issues. The next time I saw him for a date night he told me he needed to leave early for a football game - yes ladies the night we were to work on our marriage. Another time I needed to run errands but he didnt feel like running those with me. Where is the progress? How the hell am I supposed to know this man loves me when he does the stupid ****.
The lastest is after he did all this to our family. He stopped talked to me because I caught him on match.com and ashleymadison.com which is for adult married affairs. How was I supposed to trust him and when I confronted him he turned it on me again!! He said he was lonely. NICE. This man has no viable braincells in his head and yet I still claim to love him and want to reconcile again. And these things were just the highlights. I must be crazy because this is by no means normal. I should be out there having some dates myself after his crazy rooten behavior. I deserve some fun too! I am Catholic so I feel like its a death sentence to me but yet he is all over the place I am sure. I truly believe a power higher than me can bring him to sanity but what am I crying for???
His sister was an idiot to me too and I always treated her with respect even when she got married before us and I was in her bridal party and her friends are all dating married men so you can see how I had nothing in commin with thos woman but I toughed it out. We got engaged after that and she never called me or returned calls to the bridal party. She ordered her dress over the phone and picked it up the night before our wedding. Oh and for my bridal shower, she claimed she had no ride and again brought the woman and at least left her downstairs that used to be my husbands lover. Nice right?? Did my husband say anything? Of course not. At this point, my next guy will have it easy. I have seen it all.
But seriouslt, he managed to turn it all on me and it worked for a while. But I am having this f*cker served asap. I want my husband to get better but reality it he is a patholigical liar. He was trying to hurt me when he told me he was happier alone and he didnt love me anymore. Ok fine. Alone it is. This douchbag begged me back and once I relented he started the games. My goodness. They people are really not in their right minds. I will run the other way. He doesnt deserve me and never did. thanks for listening to my very angry venting post. But how did I allow him to turn this on me?? Yes I was mad after all he did. But he tells me I need medication. Like he knows what normal is. Hope he gets all this back in his next relationship.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
And now he said he was filing for divorce..where the papers? its been 4 weeks. Bring it on is what I have to say to him. I didnt want divorce as I wanted him to recover but when you are living a life of lies..recovery isnt happening
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 105
Lulu: So sorry you're going through this. Much sounds familiar. If you google "crazy making behavior" you will see that, in addition to the alcohol issues, this is a form of abuse. The blaming, denying, and reinventing history can make you feel that the world is upside down and backwards. You are not crazy. The comments about "medication" were on of my STBXAH's favorites.
Sounds as though you've had enough. My experience has taught me that, no matter what we say or do in an effort to get through to them, there's "nobody home", sober or not. No heart, no feelings, no regret, no shame. "Don't engage, don't enrage" is the advice I'm following. It can be frustrating, but no contact puts you out of their crazy-making reach and it gets easier as you feel stronger and gain your balance again.
My heart goes out to you and I'll be thinking of you. Even though I'm not out of the house yet, just not letting him push my buttons has helped me begin to heal. Emails? delete. Blocked texts, pretend I don't even see him if we run into each other in the house.
Take care Lulu. You are not crazy, and you are not alone. Keep posting, and vent anytime. I'm happy to listen.
Sounds as though you've had enough. My experience has taught me that, no matter what we say or do in an effort to get through to them, there's "nobody home", sober or not. No heart, no feelings, no regret, no shame. "Don't engage, don't enrage" is the advice I'm following. It can be frustrating, but no contact puts you out of their crazy-making reach and it gets easier as you feel stronger and gain your balance again.
My heart goes out to you and I'll be thinking of you. Even though I'm not out of the house yet, just not letting him push my buttons has helped me begin to heal. Emails? delete. Blocked texts, pretend I don't even see him if we run into each other in the house.
Take care Lulu. You are not crazy, and you are not alone. Keep posting, and vent anytime. I'm happy to listen.
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
Wow Lulu, you must be so exhausted putting up with all that crazy making!! I hope you're starting to take better care of you. Do something good for yourself. Who cares what his family think. They'll find out the truth soon enough.
:ghug3
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
OK Lulu, you hoped he would "get better"? Er, um.....just what did want to change?
His name calling? Stalking? Fraudulent acts? Lunatic drinking? Abuse? Hassling you? Chasing other women online? Lying to family etc about you? Lying to you? Not spending time with you? Not trying to mend marriage? Sorry, forgot the rest.
So you still love this man????
And the lovable and wonderful things about this man are??????
When you add his sister into the mix, oh hell what a nutsville.
Honey, he couldn't give a rat's rear end, about you only about what he can get from you to keep him comfy. Every single stuff-up he is responsible for, will be dumped at your feet, and if you stay with him it won't be long before you believe all his cr*p.
He hasn't done a thing about divorce papers, and never will....hell, he would be on his own, no enabler, no comfy cushion for his bottom, and no scapegoat to blame.
Go get the papers yourself and get free of this bludging, whinging and pathetic blob of useless drivel. Do it before he has everyone, including you, convinced you are nuts and he ends up with all you have and you in a hospital.
Don't keep playing his game of Maniac Monopoly, and go get yourself a real life.
God bless
His name calling? Stalking? Fraudulent acts? Lunatic drinking? Abuse? Hassling you? Chasing other women online? Lying to family etc about you? Lying to you? Not spending time with you? Not trying to mend marriage? Sorry, forgot the rest.
So you still love this man????
And the lovable and wonderful things about this man are??????
When you add his sister into the mix, oh hell what a nutsville.
Honey, he couldn't give a rat's rear end, about you only about what he can get from you to keep him comfy. Every single stuff-up he is responsible for, will be dumped at your feet, and if you stay with him it won't be long before you believe all his cr*p.
He hasn't done a thing about divorce papers, and never will....hell, he would be on his own, no enabler, no comfy cushion for his bottom, and no scapegoat to blame.
Go get the papers yourself and get free of this bludging, whinging and pathetic blob of useless drivel. Do it before he has everyone, including you, convinced you are nuts and he ends up with all you have and you in a hospital.
Don't keep playing his game of Maniac Monopoly, and go get yourself a real life.
God bless
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South Africa
Posts: 330
Agree with Jadmack - he will not divorce you. Remember he wants you to be the "bad guy ''. I say he does not have the guts to. But he makes sure that he gives you enough reason - and making sure others dont see it - can you see the crazy -making?
This is a form of abuse to keep you stuck. Dont fall for it. He will not be able to keep appearances up and soon everybody will start seeing through him. This is a downward spiral for him. And it is downward spiral for you.Dont join him any further!
Stay strong and keep focussing on the serenity you crave.
This is a form of abuse to keep you stuck. Dont fall for it. He will not be able to keep appearances up and soon everybody will start seeing through him. This is a downward spiral for him. And it is downward spiral for you.Dont join him any further!
Stay strong and keep focussing on the serenity you crave.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
Just want to let you know you are heard and not alone.
This just shows you now crazymaking this illness is for the person and you. Please use your strength to detach from the anger and your spiritual strength to pray for healing for both.
Been through much craziness myself, it is less so when sober and when sober RAH felt a lot of remorse for his behavior. But even after that being said, his behavior remains more self centered, the blaming is there at times, and the lack of understanding that illness made for a miserable relationship - not me. I guess it can all take a lot of time even when it recovery is working.
This just shows you now crazymaking this illness is for the person and you. Please use your strength to detach from the anger and your spiritual strength to pray for healing for both.
Been through much craziness myself, it is less so when sober and when sober RAH felt a lot of remorse for his behavior. But even after that being said, his behavior remains more self centered, the blaming is there at times, and the lack of understanding that illness made for a miserable relationship - not me. I guess it can all take a lot of time even when it recovery is working.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Originally Posted by Thumper 
OMG that is a lot. To much. Use your momentum to move forward in your life.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Originally Posted by Jadmack25
OK Lulu, you hoped he would "get better"? Er, um.....just what did want to change?
His name calling? Stalking? Fraudulent acts? Lunatic drinking? Abuse? Hassling you? Chasing other women online? Lying to family etc about you? Lying to you? Not spending time with you? Not trying to mend marriage? Sorry, forgot the rest.
His name calling? Stalking? Fraudulent acts? Lunatic drinking? Abuse? Hassling you? Chasing other women online? Lying to family etc about you? Lying to you? Not spending time with you? Not trying to mend marriage? Sorry, forgot the rest.
I have to give him credit..for someone with his history to be able to function in a real business world takes some class A acting. He is very good at manipulating. And secretly I am happy he is doing it to cousin Mike too. I know it wasnt just me - he does it to family to coworkers friends. He can do it to anyone. I can take this weight off my shoulders now. I am taking care of me. Slowly but surely.
xoxo
May it be
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: A new day. Today I just see bright colors, in the small world of my dreams.
Posts: 384
he can do it to anyone
this is when you get a new meaning to ALL the f words & combinations. Then it sometimes progresses till this person look like a orphan. They might say that they don't want to be around their lousy family, but it's the other way around.
this is when you get a new meaning to ALL the f words & combinations. Then it sometimes progresses till this person look like a orphan. They might say that they don't want to be around their lousy family, but it's the other way around.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Originally Posted by chrisea
he can do it to anyone
this is when you get a new meaning to ALL the f words & combinations. Then it sometimes progresses till this person look like a orphan. They might say that they don't want to be around their lousy family, but it's the other way around.
this is when you get a new meaning to ALL the f words & combinations. Then it sometimes progresses till this person look like a orphan. They might say that they don't want to be around their lousy family, but it's the other way around.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
Originally Posted by lulu1974
You are right. Sadly when it creeps up on you..You lose site of what normal is anymore. 2 years ago I would have went running out the door but then I got sicker and sicker and stayed. But this is nutsville. I am moving forward. I am not a crazy..just a regular girl that has been put through the ringer..over and over again. Thank you xoxo
Sending you peace, strength, and courage!!!
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
Originally Posted by lulu1974
You are right. Sadly when it creeps up on you..You lose site of what normal is anymore. 2 years ago I would have went running out the door but then I got sicker and sicker and stayed. But this is nutsville. I am moving forward. I am not a crazy..just a regular girl that has been put through the ringer..over and over again. Thank you xoxo
Keep moving forward lulu.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Conditioning, brainwashing, the negative form of behavior training also a form of torture and total abuse. Let's face it, this goes on every hour of every day somewhere in the world, lovely to hear isn't it?
God bless
God bless
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