blindsided at work
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 405
blindsided at work
I just got laid off yesterday.
It was a job I ultimately wanted to leave anyway. What bothers me most is that there were people who I thought were friends and "had my back" and non-friends who conspired for many months while being nice to me to my face to make this happen.
That feeling of being duped, stupid and not being able to trust myself is so familiar.
This feels so much like finally realizing how much my ex was was nothing like who seemed like he was and how I was such an idiot.......
suckerpunched
It was a job I ultimately wanted to leave anyway. What bothers me most is that there were people who I thought were friends and "had my back" and non-friends who conspired for many months while being nice to me to my face to make this happen.
That feeling of being duped, stupid and not being able to trust myself is so familiar.
This feels so much like finally realizing how much my ex was was nothing like who seemed like he was and how I was such an idiot.......
suckerpunched
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Oh GNS, I'm so sorry!
I totally understand that feeling. To me it's like being the butt of one big joke. As if everyone knew the punchline but just couldn't bring themselves be an adult and clue me in on it. Instead they seem to enjoy watching me work my behind off without realizing the futility. Yeah, big chuckles, thanks but no thanks.
I think you're right that it's more the betrayal than the loss of the job.
My friend sent me an email today that rang true, it said:
When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.
There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won't anymore...
And who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
Hang in there GNS, you will rise above this and those sots!
Peace,
Alice
I totally understand that feeling. To me it's like being the butt of one big joke. As if everyone knew the punchline but just couldn't bring themselves be an adult and clue me in on it. Instead they seem to enjoy watching me work my behind off without realizing the futility. Yeah, big chuckles, thanks but no thanks.
I think you're right that it's more the betrayal than the loss of the job.
My friend sent me an email today that rang true, it said:
When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.
There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won't anymore...
And who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
Hang in there GNS, you will rise above this and those sots!
Peace,
Alice
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 405
Wow Alice, That is such a lovely post.
Thanks so much for TOTALLY UNDERSTANDING!!
I know EXACTLY what you mean about being the butt of a joke and none of your so-called friends telling you - or even giving you a clue.
It sounds like you have experienced this, too (and I am SO SORRY that you have because it sucks).
Any advice on how you handled it?
Thanks so much for TOTALLY UNDERSTANDING!!
I know EXACTLY what you mean about being the butt of a joke and none of your so-called friends telling you - or even giving you a clue.
It sounds like you have experienced this, too (and I am SO SORRY that you have because it sucks).
Any advice on how you handled it?
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
I am so sorry that you got this unpleasant surprise, and I know what you mean by the knife job in the back.
I am sure thar as this door slammed shut, just round the corner another opens for you.
God bless
I am sure thar as this door slammed shut, just round the corner another opens for you.
God bless
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 57
Hi gns,
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I experienced something similar about 2 1/2 years ago, so I totally know how it feels. Things have changed a lot for me since then and, while I suffered a great deal financially (not to mention the feelings of anger & betrayal), I'm in a much better place now, with really great coworkers.
My advice - a) keep reminding yourself of how fabulous you are b) take advantage of the "time off" - if it's ok financially, pamper yourself...c) don't jump into the first job you're offered - take your time and find a job you really want (when they interview you, YOU interview them!)
Anyhow, I'm really sorry - I hope you're doing ok.
-Lolajames
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I experienced something similar about 2 1/2 years ago, so I totally know how it feels. Things have changed a lot for me since then and, while I suffered a great deal financially (not to mention the feelings of anger & betrayal), I'm in a much better place now, with really great coworkers.
My advice - a) keep reminding yourself of how fabulous you are b) take advantage of the "time off" - if it's ok financially, pamper yourself...c) don't jump into the first job you're offered - take your time and find a job you really want (when they interview you, YOU interview them!)
Anyhow, I'm really sorry - I hope you're doing ok.
-Lolajames
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Any advice on how you handled it?
I'll tell you of my embarrassment in the hopes it will offer consolation...
I was actually thinking about this very thing the other day and came to the conclusion that though I was young and naive at the time and didn't handle myself well at all, I cannot regret my response to the situation. I did what I could with the experience and knowledge I had at the time.
It was my first management job in a retail shop. The other manager, a man about 10 yrs my senior, took a liking to me. When I got the job he told me how pleased he was that I was promoted because we could date since I was no longer a subordinate. I guess I was flattered because I found that a great idea. We went on a few dates and just when I got to really like him, I went out of town for a long weekend for a family wedding. When I returned he and all the employees acted very strangely. There were a lot snickers behind my back. People avoided talking to me. Made my job and my personal life miserable because these were both my coworkers and my core group of friends.
I ended up confronting the weakest link in the herd and found out my new suitor was actually seeing another man he had met while he was dating me. Apparently, all the staff was invited to a coming out party while I was out of town.
I handled the whole business by lying to anyone who would listen that I had met someone while I was at the wedding and therefore couldn't be bothered with this new development. Told a whole tale about me and one of the groomsmen, a whirlwind romance etc. Kinda hard to tell a convincing lie when you look and feel like you've been run over a truck.
I pretended to sick, stayed home, and prepared to quit the job and walk away from all of them. I answered an ad for a job (thinking I'd rather do anything that work there another minute). In keeping with the email I received today, I ended up embarking on a successful career that eventually led to the job I have now, which I thoroughly enjoy. I no longer have coworkers by choice, unless you count my pets who keep me company each day. They can create some serious drama
When one door closes....
Alice
I'll tell you of my embarrassment in the hopes it will offer consolation...
I was actually thinking about this very thing the other day and came to the conclusion that though I was young and naive at the time and didn't handle myself well at all, I cannot regret my response to the situation. I did what I could with the experience and knowledge I had at the time.
It was my first management job in a retail shop. The other manager, a man about 10 yrs my senior, took a liking to me. When I got the job he told me how pleased he was that I was promoted because we could date since I was no longer a subordinate. I guess I was flattered because I found that a great idea. We went on a few dates and just when I got to really like him, I went out of town for a long weekend for a family wedding. When I returned he and all the employees acted very strangely. There were a lot snickers behind my back. People avoided talking to me. Made my job and my personal life miserable because these were both my coworkers and my core group of friends.
I ended up confronting the weakest link in the herd and found out my new suitor was actually seeing another man he had met while he was dating me. Apparently, all the staff was invited to a coming out party while I was out of town.
I handled the whole business by lying to anyone who would listen that I had met someone while I was at the wedding and therefore couldn't be bothered with this new development. Told a whole tale about me and one of the groomsmen, a whirlwind romance etc. Kinda hard to tell a convincing lie when you look and feel like you've been run over a truck.
I pretended to sick, stayed home, and prepared to quit the job and walk away from all of them. I answered an ad for a job (thinking I'd rather do anything that work there another minute). In keeping with the email I received today, I ended up embarking on a successful career that eventually led to the job I have now, which I thoroughly enjoy. I no longer have coworkers by choice, unless you count my pets who keep me company each day. They can create some serious drama
When one door closes....
Alice
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I feel your pain.
I got sucker-punched late last September.
I was offered a medical transcription position in the health information department I was working in.
I was trained, started the job, and after 6 days, I was sent home at lunch and told I would be called when more transcription came in.
I had to get a ride from one of my co-workers that day at lunch as my car was in the shop. I told her I didn't understand why I had been sent home early because there were still transcription jobs showing when I shut the software down. My supervisor had said there was only one job left when she told me I could go home at lunch. She got extremely uncomfortable and wouldn't look me in the eye. She just shrugged her shoulders and said "I don't know."
I waited 4 days with no phone call.
I was absolutely panic stricken.
I called, and was told my position had been given back to the lady who originally had it because she had hired 2 new girls, and hadn't told me about the one.
My jaw hit the ground.
I asked her why in God's name would she offer me the position, only to take it away?
She was short and rude with me on the phone.
I had no recourse. My only option was to go to the CEO of the hospital and report her. Someone like that would retaliate, no doubt, and I need a good job reference from her. She also had my evaluation papers for my practicum at the time. So I couldn't do anything.
The entire department knew. All those ladies I thought were my friends knew and didn't say a word to me.
That was one of the most painful things I've ever been through.
I got sucker-punched late last September.
I was offered a medical transcription position in the health information department I was working in.
I was trained, started the job, and after 6 days, I was sent home at lunch and told I would be called when more transcription came in.
I had to get a ride from one of my co-workers that day at lunch as my car was in the shop. I told her I didn't understand why I had been sent home early because there were still transcription jobs showing when I shut the software down. My supervisor had said there was only one job left when she told me I could go home at lunch. She got extremely uncomfortable and wouldn't look me in the eye. She just shrugged her shoulders and said "I don't know."
I waited 4 days with no phone call.
I was absolutely panic stricken.
I called, and was told my position had been given back to the lady who originally had it because she had hired 2 new girls, and hadn't told me about the one.
My jaw hit the ground.
I asked her why in God's name would she offer me the position, only to take it away?
She was short and rude with me on the phone.
I had no recourse. My only option was to go to the CEO of the hospital and report her. Someone like that would retaliate, no doubt, and I need a good job reference from her. She also had my evaluation papers for my practicum at the time. So I couldn't do anything.
The entire department knew. All those ladies I thought were my friends knew and didn't say a word to me.
That was one of the most painful things I've ever been through.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 405
Dear Freedom and Alice,
Thank you so much for sharing your stories.
Alice, I think you handled things brilliantly and Freedom I am so sorry you were betrayed by your colleagues (know what that feels like). I want to punch them out for you! I hope it has led to a better situation for you!
Dear Lolajames thank you for your advice, sharing your story and your kind words.
Dear Barb and Jadmack, Thank you for your support!
It is so nice to come here and be understood and supported! It also is nice to know I am not the only one that has been suckerpunched and that you have survived and even thrived!
Thank you so much for sharing your stories.
Alice, I think you handled things brilliantly and Freedom I am so sorry you were betrayed by your colleagues (know what that feels like). I want to punch them out for you! I hope it has led to a better situation for you!
Dear Lolajames thank you for your advice, sharing your story and your kind words.
Dear Barb and Jadmack, Thank you for your support!
It is so nice to come here and be understood and supported! It also is nice to know I am not the only one that has been suckerpunched and that you have survived and even thrived!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by gns 
Freedom I am so sorry you were betrayed by your colleagues (know what that feels like). I want to punch them out for you! I hope it has led to a better situation for you!
To be honest, it took me a good month to get past the initial shock, pain, and feelings of betrayal.
I just put in an application as a coder/biller at a very nice medical center just 40 miles from me, and I'm leaving the results up to God.
I know God's got some pretty good things in store for you too! :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I have learned through my experience with my XABF's addiction that I have some rather heavy lead feet when it comes to change. I will drag on a miserable situation rather than take a risk. My employment history is no exception.
I would never have left that stupid store and I would have wandered through that job with my tail between my legs trying to hide my embarrassment and feelings of stupidity rather than ever challenge myself for greater. If it hadn't been for that low class crowd I would have missed out on a great career.
I would have stayed in that career far longer in the end and continued to be disatissified had things not come to a head there in it's own way.
And so on...
I would have stayed with XABF had I not gotten a push from my HP. I would still be miserable in my EX best friend's flea-ridden basement had I not gotten yet another push.
come to think of it...my HP must be getting tired of shoving me down the path he's laid out for me. I bet he's wondering when this chick is gonna get up and walk on her own already.
*** I said all that to say this...maybe this was the push you needed, gns, to get where you need to be so stop stagnating in that lousy job with those rats and take the hint. More will be revealed, now get moving!!
Alice
I would never have left that stupid store and I would have wandered through that job with my tail between my legs trying to hide my embarrassment and feelings of stupidity rather than ever challenge myself for greater. If it hadn't been for that low class crowd I would have missed out on a great career.
I would have stayed in that career far longer in the end and continued to be disatissified had things not come to a head there in it's own way.
And so on...
I would have stayed with XABF had I not gotten a push from my HP. I would still be miserable in my EX best friend's flea-ridden basement had I not gotten yet another push.
come to think of it...my HP must be getting tired of shoving me down the path he's laid out for me. I bet he's wondering when this chick is gonna get up and walk on her own already.
*** I said all that to say this...maybe this was the push you needed, gns, to get where you need to be so stop stagnating in that lousy job with those rats and take the hint. More will be revealed, now get moving!!
Alice
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