another new sobriety date

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03-26-2010, 01:48 PM

# 1 (permalink)

four812

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Join Date: Mar 2005

Posts: 1,947

another new sobriety date

it's been a while since i've been here. i've had so many new sobriety dates, damage control, and continued waste and selfishness.

I'll try again. last use 3-25-10.

I'll stay in today; say the serenity prayer in my head. listen much more than I talk.

I don't have many words in me. This using is so old. it's not fun and it don't feel good. but it numbs my fear, for a little while, and then the next day the fear is still there; often it's a little more.

i keep looking for things outside of me to fulfill me--to make me happy. but happiness and peace and love is an inside job; i got the knowledge but not the action.

i will take the right actions today.

03-26-2010, 01:51 PM

# 2 (permalink)

Lenina

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Join Date: Jul 2008

Location: Los Angeles, California

Posts: 8,326

ks,

I've been wondering how you were doing. I'm glad you're back!

Love,

Lenina

03-26-2010, 02:03 PM

# 3 (permalink)

Anna

Administrator

Join Date: Aug 2003

Location: Dancing in the Light

Posts: 61,463

Gosh, Ksplash, I could have written those same words myself. The endless fear! But, you know what, you can take the leap of faith that you need to recover.

I'm glad you're back.

03-26-2010, 02:03 PM

# 4 (permalink)

Dee74

Administrator

Join Date: Apr 2007

Location: Australia

Posts: 211,355

Welcome back Ksplash

What's your plan?
D

03-26-2010, 02:04 PM

# 5 (permalink)

least

bona fido dog-lover

Join Date: Mar 2008

Location: SF Bay area, CA

Posts: 99,755

Glad you came back!! Always good to see you. I wish you much success.

03-26-2010, 03:24 PM

# 6 (permalink)

Dime

Member

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 1,243

Welcome back!

Any new plans on your recovery program?

03-26-2010, 04:05 PM

# 7 (permalink)

coffeenut

6/20/08

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 4,467

Welcome back!

03-26-2010, 04:11 PM

# 8 (permalink)

NewBeginning010

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Join Date: Feb 2009

Posts: 2,279

Welcome back KS

you can do this, we are all rooting for you!

03-27-2010, 07:29 AM

# 9 (permalink)

CarolD

Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace

Join Date: Jun 2002

Location: Serene In Dixie

Posts: 36,740

Good to see you here again.....

All my best as you start fresh on your journey

03-27-2010, 08:49 AM

# 10 (permalink)

Spawn

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Join Date: Feb 2010

Location: Ontario

Posts: 806

03-27-2010, 11:54 AM

# 11 (permalink)

Impurrfect

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Join Date: Sep 2007

Location: Atlanta

Posts: 31,179

Welcome back, ((Kslplash))! Thanks for the reminder that going back out there is something I really don't wanna do.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

03-27-2010, 01:04 PM

# 12 (permalink)

four812

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Thread Starter

Join Date: Mar 2005

Posts: 1,947

i appreciate the responses. as far as a plan; you know i really don't have a plan. I don't even know if i'll stay clean to be honest. it's important for me to stay in today, go to meetings and not have too much time alone. those are things i can do. I also need to write everyday (which i haven't done in a long time), and also meditate twice a day (which i haven't done in a long time), and pray (which i've been very inconsistent with).

there are other things but those are enough for now. i need to keep it simple that's for sure

03-28-2010, 01:36 PM

# 13 (permalink)

four812

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Thread Starter

Join Date: Mar 2005

Posts: 1,947

Day 3. I'm paying attention to my mind chatter and noticing how much i talk bad to and about myself. I don't feel good about myself right now. i'm at the AA club and will be going to a meeting later.

i'm going to check out the forum a bit