helluvacook

And it was great! I cried again because I saw some faces I knew. I saw someone I knew from years ago in Alanon and it reminded me of the old pain I felt from my mom and my ex being alcoholics. Now I am the alcoholic causing others that same pain that I felt? It was such an overwhelming feeling. I felt like a victim and a martyr and an enabler and a badass alcoholic all at the same time. And I guess I am all those things. But my child is not going to be, because the buck stops here.

It was a great meeting, and I left feeling exhausted but empowered. I'm going again tomorrow. I won't be doing 90 in 90 because I live in a remote area, but I'm ok with that. I can hit 3 a week and come here every day a few times a day!

HumbleBee

...And you're a human being, parent, provider...don't forget the good things!

That's awesome that you're taking action to break this chain for your child. Your recovery is your own - try different things, pick up tools along the way and most importantly, listen. Good for you.

CarolD

Glad to know you are moving forward....

intention

That's great and 3 meetings a week is good.

There's one thing in AA that I find is overwhelming and that is the unconditional love and acceptance. I can just feel it when I walk in the room.

Keep in touch.

least

congrats and hugs for doing all you can do for your recovery, for you and your child. I'm glad for you that your meetings are turning out so well and helping you. (((hugs)))

Tazman53

helluvacook I found myself smiling as I read your post, I am still smiling, you never have to drink again unless you decide to drink.

I would suggest at this point that you ask a lady to be your temporary sponsor & call the ladies who gave you thier phone numbers. I promise you that you will not be bugging them, people calling me help me to stay sober more then I could ever help them. Call just to chat, this will make you more likely to call when the caca is hitting the fan.