sunnygirl68

Ex told me that he was meeting with the PO this morning for a drug test and if he passed they would look into these other problems. He called me "afterwards", said I passed and I have to come back at noon to meet with a handwriting expert to prove my innocence. Something about that just didnt mesh with me...if there is an ACTIVE warrant, they arent going to let him walk out the door to go get something to eat....

I called the PO, yes maybe codie behavior but I needed to know for my own security. Po says NO he did not come in, was supposed to turn himself in last Monday and there are 7 counts of forgery instead of one!!!!!

He understood that the ex had the checks since January and started cashing them in March. Maybe I'm losing my touch..I have not seen ANY addict behavior at all!

Of course I had to call the ex and tell him the jig was up that I knew everything, in which he finally admitted the forgeris but still maintained he has NOT been using. Moot point now. I asked him if he wasnt on drugs then WHY? His response was that he wanted to give me as much money as he could, I told him dont pin this crap on me, I was fine with the $100 a week coming from your paycheck!!
It would make more sense to me that he was using instead of only doing it to get the money.....(scratching my head), but of course the logical thing is that he IS USING because why else would he ruin his life over that?

At this point, he is on the run..says he's not leaving the state and that he will start a new job next week with a company that pays in cash to top that little nugget off, he says he only needs $450 to get a fake driver's license!!
What the heck? He just gets crazier and crazier.

My kids dont know anything right now and I dont know if I should even say anything UNTIL he gets locked up, because we all know that eventually it will happen!

I told him he cannot come to my house, all they have to do is type in my name into "whitepages" and there I am, I dont need that crap going down at my home again, BTDT, dont want to do it again.

I am strong! I feel really good about myself, I didnt try to fix this or take ownership or even offer help....I have come a LONG way from that door mat I used to be.
I can look back on myself 2 yrs ago when it was hitting the fan and I was a total basket case, had panic attacks, couldnt stop crying, had to even take a few days off from work to recover...Guess what I'm at work right now and I have not shed a tear for him.
I know the tears will come when I have to tell my son what is going on, but honestly, is it okay to wait until he is arrested?

MsPINKAcres

((sunny))

what a mess!! glad you are taking care of yourself - you do sound very strong in your post -

I believe that because of this strength, the work you have done on learning to take care of you, your recovery and what is healthy and best for you - YOU will know, your HP will guide you as to when, what and where to tell your son about his dad's stuff.

my thoughts would be we all know the law enforcement can take time to get things taken care of - so my thoughts would be cross that bridge when you come to it - but again I believe you will know when it is the "right" time.

try to keep taking good care of you and congrats on being the door mat that got up off the floor and became the beautiful person you are today!!!!!!!!

HUGS,
Rita

Insulated

oh honey. run like hell!

helpformyson

Sunnygirl68,

My son had an outstanding warrant in another county for stealing a credit card and using it. His excuse for not turning himself in...."I need to keep working to save enough money to bail myself out". This took a year and he still did not have any money put aside(all spent on drugs). I called the sheriff's office and turned him in. When he finally got picked up, he told me that he felt releived that he did not have to keep looking over his shoulder and felt relieved. He has been in jail since January and is court ordered to a drug program.

sunnygirl68

Thanks Japico! I do feel very beautiful today!

Insulated-Run from what?

Help For My Son- I have turned him in before..he was actually running and out of state and I called the locals where he was and explained the situation, he knows I did it and the thanked me too, said I saved his life, but it did no good in the long run, he went back to the dope when he was released.

I'm just going to have a "hands off" approach, when he gets picked up it will be when it needs to be. I just dont want my son with him in case it should happen then.

cinderellawkids

Definately wait to tell your son.
Even when picked up, dont answer questions about time to your son until sentenced.

My stbXAH was arrested 2 times for aggaraved battery with weapon, armed burgularly ect even with evidence he did less than 3 months and 2nd degree felonies were reduced to misdemeanors.
He's also...hidden...for up to 6 months-

sunnygirl68

Well, that didnt take long...he just got arrested, detective called me and told me. Ex was seen leaving a known drug motel so the officer ran his plates and BINGO warrants pop up! No new charges in the other county, he is in holding unitl the other (forgery) county comes to pick him up.

The tears finally came and came hard! Guess it came sooner than later...METH...he finally admits is the drug he started on Monday. The money...well he just didnt have a reason for that.

I did feel some guilit I guess because I made him leave the house on Monday (needed a break) and that was the night he started, felt like he was unwanted...I know it is a guilt tactic and I cannot help but fall back into that trap. My heart aches for what I know he could be....and for what my sons have lost.

Now, the hard parts come, telling my son Dad is gone again first on the parole violation and then of course the new charges and being as he probably will fall into the "habitial violator" category, looking at minimum 10 years!
I hope and pray that he gets some sort of Rehab and mental health help this time. He has never had that before and maybe by some small miracle he will realize that he is killing himself and hurting himself more than anyone else could.

Thanks so much for listening to me these past few days, I know I will have to buck up and put on a brave face for my kids and my parents and all those who love me best.

teke

i'm sorry this is happening for you, please try not to take any blame for his meth use. sounds to me like his meth use didnt start because of any decisions you could have made, it was his choice and his alone and imo only, it really don't sound like this just started on monday after you asked him to leave.

i agree with cindi about waiting to talk to your son. you never know how this may work out. my ah was definitely a repeat offender, for a lot of yrs, even being in probation violations but still at times found a way to just get a slap on the wrist and walked away.

me personally, i would have rarther seen my ah in jail rather than on the streets killing himself or risking someone else killing him. i used to hold the hope of him possibly getting the help he needed, even if he chose for it to be in jail. hope this makes sense because i do know your pain.

Freedom1990

Hey sunnygirl, I will surely be keeping you and your son in my prayers.

My EXAH and I were both meth addicts. By the grace of God I found recovery, but he didn't.

He did go to rehab shortly before I did, but went back to shooting dope/drinking whiskey the day he got out.

He too was a habitual felon, actually didn't have a max at the end of his parole length. It was 5-life.

He died due to complications from AIDS a few years ago. We didn't have any children together.

Please take care of you and that precious son of yours, okay? :ghug3

coffeedrinker

this is so hard, but you ARE strong, and you will emerge from this crisis intact. with your son. you don't have to spill your guts to him or anyone else right now. just do your best to put the situation out of your mind. you can get off this train.