Got the surprise of my life today!
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Got the surprise of my life today!
I never got to see either one of my daughters walk across a stage to get their high school diploma.
32 year old AD was a dropout by age 17, and her dad and I signed the emancipation papers. She was pregnant with my granddaughter and wanted to play house with the baby's father.
Amber, my 21 year old, was 1 1/2 credits short of getting her high school diploma. It was sheer laziness as she is a smart girl. I was insane her senior year, begging, threatening, you name it. The more insane I got, the harder she dug her heels in. My parents were in on the insanity too.
It was because I saw my dream of at least one daughter getting that diploma disappearing, and I had to let go for my own sanity. It's not her job to fulfill my dreams.
School has been a sore subject with her, so for the past couple of years, I just haven't said anything. If she ever gets to a point where she wants to get her GED, fine. That is on her.
She's never said much about me finally being in college full-time with the purpose of finishing this time. I figured maybe it's a thorn in her side because she didn't finish high school.
Usually when she stops by, I am at my desk doing homework.
I had hoped if nothing else that I am an example that anything is possible, even getting a college degree (or 2!) at 52 years of age!
Today she pulled up and called me on the phone to come outside.
She's sitting in her truck and hands me a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I had no idea what was going on. I told her they were beautiful, and what an unexpected surprised. I gave her a hug.
There was a card attached to the bouquet, and it said "Just because...I'm proud of you for doing so well in school, and you're almost at the end."
I cried. They were good tears.
32 year old AD was a dropout by age 17, and her dad and I signed the emancipation papers. She was pregnant with my granddaughter and wanted to play house with the baby's father.
Amber, my 21 year old, was 1 1/2 credits short of getting her high school diploma. It was sheer laziness as she is a smart girl. I was insane her senior year, begging, threatening, you name it. The more insane I got, the harder she dug her heels in. My parents were in on the insanity too.
It was because I saw my dream of at least one daughter getting that diploma disappearing, and I had to let go for my own sanity. It's not her job to fulfill my dreams.
School has been a sore subject with her, so for the past couple of years, I just haven't said anything. If she ever gets to a point where she wants to get her GED, fine. That is on her.
She's never said much about me finally being in college full-time with the purpose of finishing this time. I figured maybe it's a thorn in her side because she didn't finish high school.
Usually when she stops by, I am at my desk doing homework.
I had hoped if nothing else that I am an example that anything is possible, even getting a college degree (or 2!) at 52 years of age!
Today she pulled up and called me on the phone to come outside.
She's sitting in her truck and hands me a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I had no idea what was going on. I told her they were beautiful, and what an unexpected surprised. I gave her a hug.
There was a card attached to the bouquet, and it said "Just because...I'm proud of you for doing so well in school, and you're almost at the end."
I cried. They were good tears.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by anvilhead 
ya know that kid of yours sure has a LOT of her mama in her!!!!! what an exquisite moment to tuck away in your heart pocket!!!!! 
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I have struggled with my relationship with my mom my whole life. Push, pull, push, pull. Years of anger. Good times. Downright hateful times. We finally became friends and then the codie business practically destroyed that beyond repair.
Now, it's hard work to keep that codie beast at bay, but it's good work, and we are reaping the benefits.
It is wonderful to hear of these special moments between mothers and daughters. It gives me hope that no matter how dysfunctional our relationship, we can still find love in there somewhere.
Thank you for posting your joy, Dev!
Alice
Now, it's hard work to keep that codie beast at bay, but it's good work, and we are reaping the benefits.
It is wonderful to hear of these special moments between mothers and daughters. It gives me hope that no matter how dysfunctional our relationship, we can still find love in there somewhere.
Thank you for posting your joy, Dev!
Alice
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by ItsmeAlice
I have struggled with my relationship with my mom my whole life. Push, pull, push, pull. Years of anger. Good times. Downright hateful times. We finally became friends and then the codie business practically destroyed that beyond repair.
Now, it's hard work to keep that codie beast at bay, but it's good work, and we are reaping the benefits.
Now, it's hard work to keep that codie beast at bay, but it's good work, and we are reaping the benefits.
When I finally accepted her for who she was, and that she wasn't going to change, I have tried to make the best of it.
Funny how that works, but the further along I get in my recovery, the better she and I get along, and she hasn't changed!
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