Do you have a wish list?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 238
Do you have a wish list?
First, I understand the importance of being accountable for my own actions. I also know that I am responsible for being my own self-advocate and changing things in my life that need to be changed. At the same time, I also recognize that the choices of others have had a huge impact on me and how I see the world. Behavior (even bad behavior) makes sense in context, right? Sometimes the actions of others has shaped my behavior and beliefs in a negative way. When I come face to face with those negative things that need to be changed and see that they started as a result of some bad experiences, I have a wish list. There are things I wish had been different or things I wish were currently different, some are things I had little control over and some are things I am currently trying to change.
1. I wish that when I was a child, at least one of my parents would have been emotionally available for me. I now have all these false beliefs that I am not important enough to help and love or that no one will help me when I ask. I fight these beliefs every day.
2. I wish my role in my family of origin had been different. I went around as the little social worker: trying to take care of people and situations. As the child, this shouldn’t have been my job. Because of this, I feel like I missed much of my childhood.
3. I wish I had pitched more tantrums as a child…and even as a teenager. Then maybe I wouldn’t want to pitch so many now. I’m in my late 20’s, but I swear when things go wrong there is a five year old inside of me that wants to kick and scream on the floor and a thirteen year old who wants to yell that people are stupid and slam doors!
4. I wish it were easier to find good mentors and role models.
5. I wish I were better at loving myself.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and/or your wishes….
1. I wish that when I was a child, at least one of my parents would have been emotionally available for me. I now have all these false beliefs that I am not important enough to help and love or that no one will help me when I ask. I fight these beliefs every day.
2. I wish my role in my family of origin had been different. I went around as the little social worker: trying to take care of people and situations. As the child, this shouldn’t have been my job. Because of this, I feel like I missed much of my childhood.
3. I wish I had pitched more tantrums as a child…and even as a teenager. Then maybe I wouldn’t want to pitch so many now. I’m in my late 20’s, but I swear when things go wrong there is a five year old inside of me that wants to kick and scream on the floor and a thirteen year old who wants to yell that people are stupid and slam doors!
4. I wish it were easier to find good mentors and role models.
5. I wish I were better at loving myself.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and/or your wishes….
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: rural west
Posts: 1,375
I really try not to wish away my past. I believe my (sometimes lousy) past made me who I am. It gave me my issues and my strengths, and I do believe those issues can become strengths.
Don't get me wrong. It would have been nice to have many things different. But I feel like I invalidate or dishonor myself to wish it away (not to mention the wishing doesn't get me anywhere). I work on fully accepting my life as is. Everything is just lesson. The universe brings the lessons back which I fail to learn.
Of course, I have future wishes. The kind you give to stars and birthday candles.
I try to take action to make those happen.
Hugs to you.
w
Don't get me wrong. It would have been nice to have many things different. But I feel like I invalidate or dishonor myself to wish it away (not to mention the wishing doesn't get me anywhere). I work on fully accepting my life as is. Everything is just lesson. The universe brings the lessons back which I fail to learn.
Of course, I have future wishes. The kind you give to stars and birthday candles.
I try to take action to make those happen.
Hugs to you.
w
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I used to have a similar wish list.
What I discovered through therapy and being active in 12 step programs was that I needed to self-parent that little girl inside of me whose needs weren't met.
:ghug3 :ghug3
What I discovered through therapy and being active in 12 step programs was that I needed to self-parent that little girl inside of me whose needs weren't met.
:ghug3 :ghug3
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