what books about addiction do you reccomend?
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous helped me understand addiction and also was my first introduction into the 12 steps and what they mean.
The books that have helped me most as a codependent, are by a wonderful author, Melody Beattie. She was a child of an alcoholic, a hardcore addict herself and when she found recovery she also found she was terribly codependent (as many addicts/alcoholics are, strange as it may seem).
Her books "Codependent No More" is written so clearly, and many of us here found it to be a bible of recovery that explained what codependency was and what we could do about it.
Also, her book "Language of Letting Go", a daily reading book from which I post here often, has always helped me when I was struggling because so many issues of codependency are included in these readings.
Others will have more, but those three books were staples in my recovery diet.
Hugs
The books that have helped me most as a codependent, are by a wonderful author, Melody Beattie. She was a child of an alcoholic, a hardcore addict herself and when she found recovery she also found she was terribly codependent (as many addicts/alcoholics are, strange as it may seem).
Her books "Codependent No More" is written so clearly, and many of us here found it to be a bible of recovery that explained what codependency was and what we could do about it.
Also, her book "Language of Letting Go", a daily reading book from which I post here often, has always helped me when I was struggling because so many issues of codependency are included in these readings.
Others will have more, but those three books were staples in my recovery diet.
Hugs
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((Soleus))
Ann's suggestions of books are AWESOME - these books have helped me tremendously!
I would like to add another book to the list - In Al-Anon there is a book, which is often refered to as the "Al-Anon Big Book" - not officially tho - just as a smile
"How Al-Anon works for Family and Friends of Alcoholics"
To me this book is not JUST about Al-Anon but it also helped me understand a lot about the behaviors of alcoholics(or addicts) and my behaviors. My Favorite chapter in that book is "Detachment, Love and Forgiveness" - To me that is the best chapter I have ever read about learning to love, forgive and take care of yourself, which is something I don't think I ever knew how to do!
HUGS,
Rita
Ann's suggestions of books are AWESOME - these books have helped me tremendously!
I would like to add another book to the list - In Al-Anon there is a book, which is often refered to as the "Al-Anon Big Book" - not officially tho - just as a smile
"How Al-Anon works for Family and Friends of Alcoholics"
To me this book is not JUST about Al-Anon but it also helped me understand a lot about the behaviors of alcoholics(or addicts) and my behaviors. My Favorite chapter in that book is "Detachment, Love and Forgiveness" - To me that is the best chapter I have ever read about learning to love, forgive and take care of yourself, which is something I don't think I ever knew how to do!
HUGS,
Rita
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
x2 on Codependent No More, I have read that book at least half a dozen times and each time I read it I learn a little bit more about myself.
Other books that have helped me:
Beautiful Boy by David Scheff ~ I'm not sure why but this one helped me open my eyes and come out of denial about just how bad my AH's addiction was, and that what I was going through and what I was feeling was completely normal.
Love First by Jeff Jay ~ I first read this book thinking that I was going to do an intervention on my AH and while it had some valuable information about doing a successful intervention, it also had me understanding more about my addict and the more I understood the less I held on to the notion that I was going to help him.. ~ I never did do the intervention but I copied enough information from this book and stored it away in case I ever wanted to do one.
One Day at a Time in Alanon ~ this one is a book that I read daily, its not so much about addiction and helping our loved ones that are addicted but more about helping myself, keeping the focus on me!!!
Women who love too much by Robin Norwood ~ When I was reading this I saw myself on every single page, I mean the author of this book could have written this about me.. I highly recomend this book to any spouse of an addict or recovering addict.. It helped me to understand myself better and why I pick the partners that I do.
You know, I think I have read almost every book out there on addiction, trying to understand my addict so maybe I could find the magic secret in making it all go away, healing him and finally "fixing" the problem (typical codie behavior).. I found none of those things in any of the books I read.. However, I did find plenty in those books to help me and once I opened my mind to the concept that I deserve better, that I deserve serenity and peace and all the best life has to offer.. none of which my addict can offer me whether he is sober or getting high everyday, I was finally able to put down these books and start healing..I learned that it was up to me to give me these things, just like it is up to the addict to give himself these things as well. I'm not saying it's a bad thing to read books on addiction because it really helped me understand more about the disease and helped me realize that I cannot help my AH unless he wants the help.. I do wish though that I had taken the time that I spent reading and researching addiction and spent it on helping me..
Other books that have helped me:
Beautiful Boy by David Scheff ~ I'm not sure why but this one helped me open my eyes and come out of denial about just how bad my AH's addiction was, and that what I was going through and what I was feeling was completely normal.
Love First by Jeff Jay ~ I first read this book thinking that I was going to do an intervention on my AH and while it had some valuable information about doing a successful intervention, it also had me understanding more about my addict and the more I understood the less I held on to the notion that I was going to help him.. ~ I never did do the intervention but I copied enough information from this book and stored it away in case I ever wanted to do one.
One Day at a Time in Alanon ~ this one is a book that I read daily, its not so much about addiction and helping our loved ones that are addicted but more about helping myself, keeping the focus on me!!!
Women who love too much by Robin Norwood ~ When I was reading this I saw myself on every single page, I mean the author of this book could have written this about me.. I highly recomend this book to any spouse of an addict or recovering addict.. It helped me to understand myself better and why I pick the partners that I do.
You know, I think I have read almost every book out there on addiction, trying to understand my addict so maybe I could find the magic secret in making it all go away, healing him and finally "fixing" the problem (typical codie behavior).. I found none of those things in any of the books I read.. However, I did find plenty in those books to help me and once I opened my mind to the concept that I deserve better, that I deserve serenity and peace and all the best life has to offer.. none of which my addict can offer me whether he is sober or getting high everyday, I was finally able to put down these books and start healing..I learned that it was up to me to give me these things, just like it is up to the addict to give himself these things as well. I'm not saying it's a bad thing to read books on addiction because it really helped me understand more about the disease and helped me realize that I cannot help my AH unless he wants the help.. I do wish though that I had taken the time that I spent reading and researching addiction and spent it on helping me..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
I'm going to put in a book that helped me very much:
Addict in the Family by Beverly Conyers. Very helpful in describing the behaviors of the addict which helped me to come up with a better way to respond.
Another good one was The Lost Years, Surviving a Mother and Daughter's Worst Nightmare by Kristina Wandzilak and Constance Curry. This is basically the diary of a daughter (addict) and her mother during the daughter's years lost in addiction. They were totally estranged through much of this and so had no idea what was going on with the other. For me, it gave a good idea of the thinking patterns of the addicted person and the importance of the family to not enable.
Hope that helps.
Addict in the Family by Beverly Conyers. Very helpful in describing the behaviors of the addict which helped me to come up with a better way to respond.
Another good one was The Lost Years, Surviving a Mother and Daughter's Worst Nightmare by Kristina Wandzilak and Constance Curry. This is basically the diary of a daughter (addict) and her mother during the daughter's years lost in addiction. They were totally estranged through much of this and so had no idea what was going on with the other. For me, it gave a good idea of the thinking patterns of the addicted person and the importance of the family to not enable.
Hope that helps.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 63
Thanks everyone for your suggestions, I'm definently going to read these.
Thanks for your comment jerect "You know, I think I have read almost every book out there on addiction, trying to understand my addict so maybe I could find the magic secret in making it all go away, healing him and finally "fixing" the problem (typical codie behavior).. I found none of those things in any of the books I read.. "
I think that's what I want to do, I know I did at first 7 months ago when this all came out. You make an excelent point- you did all that reading and research when you could have been focusing on you. That helps me keep things in perspective.
I have to set a boundary for myself- read so much and then close this chapter of my life, move forward. I could easily get tangled up in trying to find a solution but you've reminded me to focus on me, time spent doing this is time I could use to help me. I feel better after this and I just have to make sure I don't get obsessive about it.
Great suggestions everyone!
Thanks for your comment jerect "You know, I think I have read almost every book out there on addiction, trying to understand my addict so maybe I could find the magic secret in making it all go away, healing him and finally "fixing" the problem (typical codie behavior).. I found none of those things in any of the books I read.. "
I think that's what I want to do, I know I did at first 7 months ago when this all came out. You make an excelent point- you did all that reading and research when you could have been focusing on you. That helps me keep things in perspective.
I have to set a boundary for myself- read so much and then close this chapter of my life, move forward. I could easily get tangled up in trying to find a solution but you've reminded me to focus on me, time spent doing this is time I could use to help me. I feel better after this and I just have to make sure I don't get obsessive about it.
Great suggestions everyone!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
Years ago I read the book, "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp (I think). it was autobiographical and a short, interesting read. I still remember some of the ways she described her feeling different, experiencing her parents' love differently, and the compulsion with alcohol and also anorexia.
Soleus, you said you are making yourself ready to close this chapter in your life. I completely understand trying to make sense of something that seems so senseless and destructive. But I think one day you will just need to accept that you will never truly understand everything in this painful part of what you will one day think of as your youth. Just do everything you can to not get sucked back in so that these years are not seen as wasted down the road.
Soleus, you said you are making yourself ready to close this chapter in your life. I completely understand trying to make sense of something that seems so senseless and destructive. But I think one day you will just need to accept that you will never truly understand everything in this painful part of what you will one day think of as your youth. Just do everything you can to not get sucked back in so that these years are not seen as wasted down the road.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: atlanta
Posts: 90
I read most of these and I have to say they all helped in some way or another, However, the one that I felt I gained the most from, trying to UNDERSTAND addiction was from "The Addictive Personality" by Chris Nakken. It helped me understand the chemically dependant person as well as myself, the person addicted to another person!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Besides most of the books already mentioned, I subscribe to Discover magazine. The Mind and Brain section is pretty amazing. Once a month I relieve my therapist of some of the older issues of his trade mags. I'm a little odd in that I learn everything I possibly can, so I don't take it personally and don't try to control. I'm able to share things I've learned with my daughter (she reads almost everything I bring home) and it's up to her what she does with it.
I love learning and I'm learning to love letting go
I love learning and I'm learning to love letting go
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 15
I have 2 other books that haven't been mentioned. I haven't really read them through, but I have found the parts I have read helpful.
Craig Nakken "Reclaim your family from addiction"
Beverly Conyers "Everything Changes: Help for Families of Newly Recovering Addicts"
I was able to get the Nakken book at my local library through the regional library system. The Conyers book is from 2009 so most libraries probably do not have it.
Craig Nakken "Reclaim your family from addiction"
Beverly Conyers "Everything Changes: Help for Families of Newly Recovering Addicts"
I was able to get the Nakken book at my local library through the regional library system. The Conyers book is from 2009 so most libraries probably do not have it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 15
I have 2 other books that haven't been mentioned. I haven't really read them through, but I have found the parts I have read helpful.
Craig Nakken "Reclaim your family from addiction"
Beverly Conyers "Everything Changes: Help for Families of Newly Recovering Addicts"
I was able to get the Nakken book at my local library through the regional library system. The Conyers book is from 2009 so most libraries probably do not have it.
Craig Nakken "Reclaim your family from addiction"
Beverly Conyers "Everything Changes: Help for Families of Newly Recovering Addicts"
I was able to get the Nakken book at my local library through the regional library system. The Conyers book is from 2009 so most libraries probably do not have it.
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
Originally Posted by cynical one 
Though it has nothing to do with addiction and is fiction, “The Shack” by William Young has been one of the most life impacting books I have read, and was the icing on my recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Hoosier Daddy?
Posts: 63
I think reading the Big Book of AA/NA is a great suggestion for understanding the dynamics from the addict's perspective and that Co-Dependent No More is great for understanding the dynamics of us codies.
I'm also a big M. Scott Peck fan and would offer, People of the Lie as well. It doesn't directly address addiction, but for me, it affirmed my instincts toward weeding through the BS. Sometimes, and for me, others are so grounded in their own pathology, dynamics, and delusions that it MUST be reality (anyone know an addict that's done this in their life?). Instead, this book exposes flawed thinking for what it is, focusing me on how I can disallow confusion from being injected into MY life. In fact, a great quote from the book is, "Where there is confusion, there are lies."
Anyway, it was a great read for me.
Many Blessings,
Shaman
I'm also a big M. Scott Peck fan and would offer, People of the Lie as well. It doesn't directly address addiction, but for me, it affirmed my instincts toward weeding through the BS. Sometimes, and for me, others are so grounded in their own pathology, dynamics, and delusions that it MUST be reality (anyone know an addict that's done this in their life?). Instead, this book exposes flawed thinking for what it is, focusing me on how I can disallow confusion from being injected into MY life. In fact, a great quote from the book is, "Where there is confusion, there are lies."
Anyway, it was a great read for me.
Many Blessings,
Shaman
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