logbrock

My partner contacted me about 2wks ago and asked did I mind if he called round, I said I was out (which I wasn't) and then ended the conversation quickly.
My head was swimming round & round and I lost control to a degree and I really dislike the way I reacted (he didn't know this) afterwards I felt upset by the call even though I also was pleased he phoned aswell, he hasn't contacted me since. I don't want him to contact me & I do want him to contact me.
I have made no contact with him in the 7/8 months we have been apart.
Even though I have wanted to.

suki44883

If you truly want no contact, then follow cynical's advice and change your number and put blocks on your email accounts.

Soleus

Contact is difficult, I know what you mean that you don't want him to contact you but you do. Probably because you like to know that he's thinking about you, but it's painful and hurtful. I tried not having contact with my ex for a month but we still emailed each other and I've been in turmoil the last month! I thought just an email would be harmless but they were often and it didn't go so well. Contact from them will bring up a lot of deep emotions that we try to bury during the time of no contact. It would be wise to change your number, for the last two weeks everytime the phone rings you're probably wondering if it's him, and now you're back to thinking about him all the time and feeling sad and upset. I'm finally starting my journey of no contact and I hope it can last as long as yours, it is REALLY painful to see my ex, I love him so and I wish that we could be a normal couple.

It's an inner struggle, contact vs no contact but you've been very strong and it's great that you've kept yourself from contacting him. Trust me, it's best to stay away. I have had such a miserable past month, and that was only from emails! Not even seeing or hearing his voice. Take care and stay strong

tam

I too find the no contact very difficult. I was an emotional wreck early on with having contact (ah left in december) and with support I learned that it was the worse thing to do was communicate with him as I was still enabling.
I realized the calls were all the same, all about him and always went into
arguing,which made me worse. He has his prescription drugs to make him numb while I suffered emotionally. after not speaking for weeks, he contacted me and I thought okay I will take his call hoping he changed..NOT..now he is calling my house and work and we arent picking up (thank god for caller ID)..he leaves messages "Hi honey wanting to know if your okay"...yeah right!! I will tell you that again after speaking to him last week I was a wreck ,it put me back down to how I was in the beginning. So everyone time he calls I think back on what this has caused me and how far I have come and know that speaking to him will be a setback for me. I still struggle when I see him calling,but have to hold my ground. Stay strong and continue with support, it really helps.