Mom. What?!
Clever Yak
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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Posts: 4,360
Mom. What?!
WHOA.
I have news. I see the makings of an addict in my mom and maybe she is one...I don't know enough about her to tell, nor do I need to know.
Granted that I do not live with her, she had some of my mail apparently that I forgot to tell the sender my apartment address so I went over to get it today. We didn't say much to each other at first, as we are not on good terms as some of you know. Should have been an easy, quick in-and-out right? Nope, not happening. She got all enraged at me about various things, nothing that hadn't been brought up before, and shoved my mail off the counter. I turned around and bent to pick it up and when I came back up, guess what my eyes locked on? Pill bottles!! Three EMPTY pill bottles, sitting innocently on the kitchen table. I don't know of any pain issues she has, however I'm not sure I'm informed enough to say she doesn't have any as I haven't lived with her for more than a few months in the past 3 years. I didn't see what the prescriptions were for, I just wanted to get out of the house as quickly as possible so I acted like I didn't notice and after she was done with her little temper tantrum I walked out.
Now what doesn't make ANY sense to me in this equation is that IF she really is an addict, how could she act so harshly towards my father and I? She'd be hating her own kind. I mean she can't be an addict, right? That wouldn't make sense. But it does explain sooo many things...but refutes so many other things. I'm confused and this can't be happening. Someone set me straight?
I have news. I see the makings of an addict in my mom and maybe she is one...I don't know enough about her to tell, nor do I need to know.
Granted that I do not live with her, she had some of my mail apparently that I forgot to tell the sender my apartment address so I went over to get it today. We didn't say much to each other at first, as we are not on good terms as some of you know. Should have been an easy, quick in-and-out right? Nope, not happening. She got all enraged at me about various things, nothing that hadn't been brought up before, and shoved my mail off the counter. I turned around and bent to pick it up and when I came back up, guess what my eyes locked on? Pill bottles!! Three EMPTY pill bottles, sitting innocently on the kitchen table. I don't know of any pain issues she has, however I'm not sure I'm informed enough to say she doesn't have any as I haven't lived with her for more than a few months in the past 3 years. I didn't see what the prescriptions were for, I just wanted to get out of the house as quickly as possible so I acted like I didn't notice and after she was done with her little temper tantrum I walked out.
Now what doesn't make ANY sense to me in this equation is that IF she really is an addict, how could she act so harshly towards my father and I? She'd be hating her own kind. I mean she can't be an addict, right? That wouldn't make sense. But it does explain sooo many things...but refutes so many other things. I'm confused and this can't be happening. Someone set me straight?
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
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(((Jay)))
I'm sorry you've had another bad run-in with your mom but I believe there's not many accidents in the Universe. I think there's a lot of self-loathing that goes along with addiction. Maybe this is why your mom has acted out. I don't know.
The empty prescription bottles could have been hormones, antidepressants or antibiotics. I don't know. From what you've described in the past, I'd be wondering about your mom too.
I know this doesn't answer your question, but I wanted to give you my support.
Much love,
Lenina
I'm sorry you've had another bad run-in with your mom but I believe there's not many accidents in the Universe. I think there's a lot of self-loathing that goes along with addiction. Maybe this is why your mom has acted out. I don't know.
The empty prescription bottles could have been hormones, antidepressants or antibiotics. I don't know. From what you've described in the past, I'd be wondering about your mom too.
I know this doesn't answer your question, but I wanted to give you my support.
Much love,
Lenina
Clever Yak
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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Yeah, so you're saying she could be? It's not like I have to believe you if you think she is/isn't, I just want to know people's opinions... I can see so many reasons that she could be and other ones where it just wouldn't make any sense for her to be. I mean, what if she is an addict and I don't realize it so I don't confront her about it? I know that sounds ridiculously codependent or whatever but if she is one, I want her to know that I know. I'm gonna confuse you all with words by the end of this...
At the same time though, I feel like I'm jumping the gun.
At the same time though, I feel like I'm jumping the gun.
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(((Jay)))
I'm just saying it's possible. It could be her vehemence against addicts is a part of her denial system. It could be she has a mood or personality disorder that's being treated. I didn't know my mom was addicted to benzos until she went into seizures and hallucinations in the hospital! She had been living with me so I was shocked! I didn't even know she had been getting them illegally!
Ask yourself this: What would be positive for YOU if you confronted her? Is there a positive outcome? If she's an addict in denial, would it do any good for YOU?
I don't know. Just know we are here for you. I'm sure someone who is better at writing than I am will be long soon with better advice.
Much love,
Lenina
I'm just saying it's possible. It could be her vehemence against addicts is a part of her denial system. It could be she has a mood or personality disorder that's being treated. I didn't know my mom was addicted to benzos until she went into seizures and hallucinations in the hospital! She had been living with me so I was shocked! I didn't even know she had been getting them illegally!
Ask yourself this: What would be positive for YOU if you confronted her? Is there a positive outcome? If she's an addict in denial, would it do any good for YOU?
I don't know. Just know we are here for you. I'm sure someone who is better at writing than I am will be long soon with better advice.
Much love,
Lenina
Clever Yak
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I don't know. I'd feel better knowing I tried talking to her about it...if she refused then maybe I would be able to detach cause I'd have my answer about where she's at...and if she is in denial or simply not an addict at all. I'd just feel better knowing something.
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It could be anything. I have pill bottles sitting around that are anti-depressants and sleep meds, and I don't have an addiction issue. What is important is her behavior. Her behavior is obviously unpredictable and unhealthy for you.
RIP Sweet Suki
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Yes, Jason, it could be anything. Just because she had pill bottles does not mean she's an addict. Please don't jump to conclusions just to satisfy your curiosity. I know you would like answers to why she acts way she does, but it's possible you may never know. A lot of us have to accept the fact that we'll just never know. (((HUGS)))
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(((Jay)))
My mom baffles me still. She passed away nearly 15 years ago. I learned more about after she passed that helped put pieces into place in my mind. I guess what I finally got was she was in a lot of pain that had very little to do with me. She was not capable of having healthy relationships. And she wasn't interested in having them.
Jay, I think I fully understand how you feel. Thrown off your pins a bit. Just know it's not you. You didn't cause, cant cure it and can't control it. The best I could do was step back. I hope it doesn't take you as long as it took me.
Much love,
Lenina
My mom baffles me still. She passed away nearly 15 years ago. I learned more about after she passed that helped put pieces into place in my mind. I guess what I finally got was she was in a lot of pain that had very little to do with me. She was not capable of having healthy relationships. And she wasn't interested in having them.
Jay, I think I fully understand how you feel. Thrown off your pins a bit. Just know it's not you. You didn't cause, cant cure it and can't control it. The best I could do was step back. I hope it doesn't take you as long as it took me.
Much love,
Lenina
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((Jason)) - I had a horrific argument with my stepmom, this morning. She DOES abuse pain meds/benzos, whatever she can get. My stepbrother (her son) has been here this weekend and she's had the slurred speech, walking unsteady, and had to take naps 2-3 times a day but SWEARS she's out of meds and hasn't taken anything. She will bring up my past or simply make up something to get the focus off of her.
You know me...you know what I've been through with her. I've tried to confront her, I've tried to help her, I've tried to show by MY recovery. I am frustrated, I'm angry and I'm hurt. She is extremely angry and all that anger is focused on ME, for whatever reason..probably because I've gotten intolerant of her behavior.
I don't know what the bottles were at your mom's, but I know her behavior has been unpredictable and labile, to say the least. I just want you to know, that, for me, I wish I could have just stayed away from my stepmom.
You know whatever you choose to do, you've got my support, but think about this for a while, okay?
Love, hugs, and prayers!
Amy
You know me...you know what I've been through with her. I've tried to confront her, I've tried to help her, I've tried to show by MY recovery. I am frustrated, I'm angry and I'm hurt. She is extremely angry and all that anger is focused on ME, for whatever reason..probably because I've gotten intolerant of her behavior.
I don't know what the bottles were at your mom's, but I know her behavior has been unpredictable and labile, to say the least. I just want you to know, that, for me, I wish I could have just stayed away from my stepmom.
You know whatever you choose to do, you've got my support, but think about this for a while, okay?
Love, hugs, and prayers!
Amy
Clever Yak
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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Okay...lemme clarify a few things. I am not going to suddenly run off and accuse her of anything or even talk to her, I will think about it and decide for myself what I want to do cause hell, like I stated many times, I don't honestly know if those pill bottles were anything and I'll never find out either, but I can't help to be suspicious... especially with my goddamn family.
Suki - That's why I said what I said:
I can't say she's an addict right off the bat, I don't know her all that well, all I know is that she's seriously fxcked up and lots of stuff she's done totally fits the profile of an addict...but I am NOT deciding once and for all that she is... I realize I don't know enough. It just caught me off guard, sorry.
I think this just kinda annoyed me overall because I've been lied too for so long and I feel like I need to know the truth about something...just stuff.
Suki - That's why I said what I said:
Originally Posted by speedyjason
At the same time though, I feel like I'm jumping the gun.
I think this just kinda annoyed me overall because I've been lied too for so long and I feel like I need to know the truth about something...just stuff.
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((Jay)) - I totally understand why you would suspect her...heck I've suspected there is SOMETHING going on with her, all along, but I can't say it's addiction because her behavior is so erratic.
I can just tell you, an addict can most definitely talk to another addict like they are the lowest scum of the earth. They can be in very strong denial.
I now that doesn't help any, but I guess now that you have this in the back of your mind, at least it gives you something to keep your eyes open for, yes?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I can just tell you, an addict can most definitely talk to another addict like they are the lowest scum of the earth. They can be in very strong denial.
I now that doesn't help any, but I guess now that you have this in the back of your mind, at least it gives you something to keep your eyes open for, yes?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Left Coast
Posts: 161
Aah, Jason. Another "pothole" in the road. I'm sorry.
I think it doesn't matter if she is abusing meds or not. Her behavior toward you and your sister has been unacceptable for a long time. You don't have to (and should not) tolerate her actions ~ no matter the cause.
I'm sure that you are feeling: "If she is abusing, I need to help her". You know there is nothing that you can do, she must take action.
Hugs and prayers.
I think it doesn't matter if she is abusing meds or not. Her behavior toward you and your sister has been unacceptable for a long time. You don't have to (and should not) tolerate her actions ~ no matter the cause.
I'm sure that you are feeling: "If she is abusing, I need to help her". You know there is nothing that you can do, she must take action.
Hugs and prayers.
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