kermit

I wanted to take my life.... I'm at a very low point again. Can't seem to shake it off. I just can't deal anymore.

suki44883

Want to talk about it? Just vent? We're here for you.

Ceres

I remember feeling that way. I describe it as knowing I wouldn't have the guts to do it. But I could understand why some people would.

It's a terrible place to be! Best not to isolate. Best to pick up that 100lb phone and call someone. At least for me.

NYC_Chick

Kermit:

Sorry you are having such a hard time : ( Hang in there! We're all here for you.

kermit

I will be okay...I just had to say it out loud to hear how wrong it sounds...
Things are so tough right now,and everytime I look at my situation I put my blame on him,my exah... I thought I was so past this blame game, it's been 4 years..
I'm tired, just want to sleep.............

lulu1974

Many of us have been there...It can be overwhelming.. You are so much better that this disease. I know it can be disouraging but this is the land of the free.. You can start over at any point. I have even read you can totally forget about what happened in the past and reinvent yourself.
Remember whatever your A did to hurt you has no influence on your self worth. His choices have nothing to do with you. He may have cheated, raped, robbed, belittled, hurt, hit, and tried to break you but that is on him....NOT YOU. You never did anything to deserve the effects of alcoholism. His day will come but tell me why you are feeling this low?

kermit

Don't know why i'm like this right now, I can't explain it sorry

wicked

Oh Kermit,
I remember the mind numbing lethargy.
If you need to rest do that, but also find a way to talk to someone.
Please.
Beth

wicked

No need to explain anything.

But, I would be glad to hear anything you want to say.

kermit

i have to get things done for tomorrow, thanks everyone, i might be back after the kids are asleep

Kittyboo

Kermit, I just want to say that seeing your name and your picture makes me smile.

I totally remember feeling the way you have today!! And also understand that sometimes you just need to voice the words to get it out.
Sweet soul, say whatever you need to here.

55438

Kermit

I understand the hopeless feeling. You are not alone.

You seem to be feeling a little bit better, hitch your wagon onto this change.

This may sound silly, but sometimes silly works. Watch 'The Muppet Movie'. There is so much hope, positivity and humor in that movie. Maybe it will provide the hour and a half of not focusing on the problems that will open you up to all that you do have.

Gratitude is a wonderful tool against fear.

55438

SarahDoll

At one of my lowest moments when I was so tired of fighting with life and feeling like I was losing, I almost exploded at someone who told me I was strong. The look on my face must have said it all because he said, "You don't have to feel strong to be strong." You are loved and people care about you. Hang in there and remember you don't have to feel strong to be strong.

kermit

my son has add, and aspergers, and he upset me to day so much that I said things I should not have, I'm angry at myself for my behavior. he needed to go to baseball practice and he just didn't want to go. I should have left it alone but i didn't. The Dr explained to me why this behavior happens but I just don't understand he needs to go to practice not when he wants but when he needs to... then I get angry that me ex got to walk away from all this... then on the other foot I'm glad he is not here, I'm just upset at myself for acting like the child, not the parent
why I get to the point of wanting to hurt myself I don't know

PHIZ007

This too will pass my friend....tomorrow is a new day....embrace it! and keep posting here.....

Thank God for SR! It keeps me sane. Take care....take a step back and re focus on yourself.......sometimes when I blame my AH for everything when I take a step back its actually not to do with him atall but at times it doesn't take much to set me off...... we are all human afterall........ I hope you feel better after some sleep....look after you...and I too love your name and picture!...Phiz

55438

Hey Kermit,

Sorry if my post didn't ring true for you.

I am also the parent of a handicapped child, humor and having a parent time-out works for me.

55438

freefalling

This is true for you Kermit

bookwyrm

(((kermie))) Please, don't beat yourself up for getting angry. Our feelings get the better of us at times - we're not perfect. Be gentle on yourself.

Have you been to see your doctor about this latest low? Maybe there is something that they can do to help you, be it medicine or therapy. You sound as if you're putting so much pressure on yourself to be perfect and cope with so much. You are only human. Making a mistake doesn't mean we are a mistake (something that I still struggle with at times). Take care.

Buffalo66

My life has been this way for a while.

I get angry, lose my cool with my boy (5yO).

My first direction to go in is toward the Alcoholic father.
He should be shouldering some of the burden, and if he did, I would not be on my last frayed nerve. He should be stable and sane, and together, he should do it for the child!!

I beat myself up, then I beat up the ex. My goal each day is to keep the anger away from the child...

Sometimes, kids need to be disciplined. I feel guilty. I dont blame you at all for losing it a little. Know that you are doing your best.

coyote21

Hi Kermie,

Your post really helped me today, if I had a nickel for every time I've done this, well.........I'd have a pile of nickels.

Man, lots of shame attached to this behavior for me. I beat myself up as if I MUST be the WORST parent on earth, or at least the ONLY one to ever do this.

I often tell LMC "If I was as half as good at being a parent as you are at being a kid, we'd have this life licked".

I KNOW you're a great Mom, and if you stumble once in a while, I guess it's O.K. for me to too. Thanks.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote