LS2

ABF, whom we have 2 kids (2 and 3yrs old) and his son from previous relationship is 5. Wow, I am trying so hard to focus on me and detach from this and it has been a rough road!Dry drunk is really not a fun person to live with...

These are the thigns I heard tonight:
I told him I wrote an email to my parents regarding the lies about his drinking(he's just been telling everyone he is sober, when he wasn't and I covered for him) Well, that was probably a wrong move-I don't know why I felt he needed to know this?

Maybe because I am on my last string with him;he tells me life is just great if we got along and forget all the past.

He told me he 'he hates me' a few times and that he wants to kick me off the bank account (im in school and was a sahm before that)

Then he wants me to move out(my name is on this house too-he can't do that can he?) He thinks I should just move out so I can get assistance for an apartment.

He says, "I hate these changes you are making, can't you jsut go back to the way it was. I want to except minus the alcohol."

Then he comes to tell me, "I don't have a problem with alcohol, I quite for a month and a half now. I have a problem with stress and stress with work and money." "I can't be an alcoholic because I go to work each day."
"I work hard for this family-all you do is go and spend money." (hmm...on food for OUR family and he goes out and takes loans out for a truck when he has no license! and a loan out for a four wheeler and a snowmobile!)

Denial, denial, denial!!

He says I am the crazy one, I am going crazy aparently..

He claims he will get the kids well our two...and he will fight for them..ok I said, why are you fighting for these two when you haven't faught for your son..who is in a household where his brother sexually abused him and his mom is a dead beat.

Then he changes his stories and tells me that we can work this out if I quit my "changes"

He told me our relationship will work better if I put out more.

Ok, sorry I could go on and on but ill stop boring you! I am just goign nuts-o with this man...

Hadassah

what a mess I don't have any advice, just a shoulder to cry on, and I know how you feel.I am going through it with you.
It's hard to hang on to your sanity when your living with a nut. Do you have a plan to get out of this situation? If not, it would be good to start one. Save some money, go to school...something. Hang in there.Don't worry that he will take your kids. I have been threatened so many times, and when one threat does not appear to faze me , he tries another tactic. He really doesn't want them, kids are too much work and they get in the way of the boozing. Keep coming here, there are so many good people here to help. Gina

freefalling

Don't worry that he will take your kid. He really doesn't want them, kids are too much work

True true true - he is playing you.

My STBXAH hated the changes in me. Went so far as to say that he was going to sue my therapist for the changes in me. He could not pull the wool over my eyes anymore - I was starting to see reality!

Keep on changing and growing for YOU and those precious children.

posiesperson

LS2,

I don't have any advice based on experience with A and kids, but I have kids (not with my A). What I can say is that my stress levels have gone down SUBSTANTIALLY by not spending time with my A, and I've become a more focused Mom/more emotionally available to my kiddos.

I'm really sorry for your situation, and so sorry for your stepson. I hope you are taking deep breaths and reminding yourself of what a great job you're doing holding everything together as best you can. And maybe create an emergency backup plan...? Just in case.

Keep coming back,
posie

LS2

Thanks, just feels good to get the frustrations out. I plan on leaving him, I would now but, I would like to finish this semester of school so after May is the plan-sometime this summer.

One day at a time