views on rehab vs no rehab
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views on rehab vs no rehab
Can anyone share with me their thoughts on rehab? Maybe the experience you had, how it worked for you, if programs are efficient, if you think the programs are set up in the most beneficial way etc. Anything that could help me understand more, I have no idea about any of it. I'm not familiar with drugs or addiction, as much as I try and try to reseach and understand. It's difficult for someone who has NO comparison to that in her life to relate and understand.
Why is is that some people can just quit on their own without assistance and others go to rehab? Why can someone whos been in rehab relapse and someone who does it on their own not relapse?
I don't have this crazy, scary image of rehab. It really doesnt sound that bad, you have food, a place to sleep, plenty of free time to watch movies, read, play basketball and work out. I don't know, maybe since addiction is tough it's nice to have a break and enjoy those things for the first time in a long time. Why wouldn't you want to go to rehab? Theres plenty of people to interact with.
My ex was in rehab 4 months, out for 2 months with a few days relapse, and now he wants to go back in for a month or two. I guess I'm just trying to understand that, he says he needs some more support and to get his head back. He wants me back with him but obviously he still has issues (well of course, he's still in early recovery). You don't have much to worry about when you're in rehab, no bills to pay, dont have to grocery shop, go anywhere, deal with everyday relationships with people, no school, no work. This comes from someone on the outside, someone whos never been in an addiction world. I'd appreciate some inside information, help me get a better picture of what its like inside. I know there are hours and hours of studies, talking with counselors and all of that. Early start to the day, keep all your stuff clean and tidy.
Seperate question- What is someone who's not an addict or ever done drugs called? I don't know how to refer to myself lol.
Why is is that some people can just quit on their own without assistance and others go to rehab? Why can someone whos been in rehab relapse and someone who does it on their own not relapse?
I don't have this crazy, scary image of rehab. It really doesnt sound that bad, you have food, a place to sleep, plenty of free time to watch movies, read, play basketball and work out. I don't know, maybe since addiction is tough it's nice to have a break and enjoy those things for the first time in a long time. Why wouldn't you want to go to rehab? Theres plenty of people to interact with.
My ex was in rehab 4 months, out for 2 months with a few days relapse, and now he wants to go back in for a month or two. I guess I'm just trying to understand that, he says he needs some more support and to get his head back. He wants me back with him but obviously he still has issues (well of course, he's still in early recovery). You don't have much to worry about when you're in rehab, no bills to pay, dont have to grocery shop, go anywhere, deal with everyday relationships with people, no school, no work. This comes from someone on the outside, someone whos never been in an addiction world. I'd appreciate some inside information, help me get a better picture of what its like inside. I know there are hours and hours of studies, talking with counselors and all of that. Early start to the day, keep all your stuff clean and tidy.
Seperate question- What is someone who's not an addict or ever done drugs called? I don't know how to refer to myself lol.
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Seperate question- What is someone who's not an addict or ever done drugs called? I don't know how to refer to myself lol.
I can't figure out this, the underlined parts:
You don't have much to worry about when you're in rehab, no bills to pay, dont have to grocery shop, go anywhere, deal with everyday relationships with people, no school, no work.
And unless someone is financing him, how could you not pay bills? Are you financing him?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Why wouldn't you want to go to rehab?
10 - Because you don't think you have a problem.
9 - Because you think you can quit on your own.
8 - Because you think it's too expensive.
7 - Because you have children and a family at home that needs you.
6 - You're in denial.
5 - You don't want to take time off work.
4 - Youre not as "bad" as so-n-so.
3 - Rehab is for "junkies".
2 - You've already been to rehab and it did't work.
#1 reason why you wouldn't want to go to rehab:
Cuz you don't want to stop doing drugs!
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,896
You don't have much to worry about when you're in rehab, no bills to pay, dont have to grocery shop, go anywhere, deal with everyday relationships with people, no school, no work.
I think I understand what she means by this. When someone is in rehab, they are concentrating solely on getting better. They don't have to deal with the day-to-day life on the outside. They're protected, in a way. They feel safe. I know that's how I felt.
I didn't go to what would be called a real "rehabilitation center" for long-term care. I went to a small hospital that deals with addictions and psychological issues for a short-term stay. I was there for 6 days. Others stayed a few weeks, others stayed longer. During that six days, I was medically detoxed, saw a doctor each morning, vitals checked every 4 hours, fed very well, lots of classes teaching coping skills, and AA meetings.
It can seem like a safe place simply because they aren't having to deal with life on the outside. I didn't want to leave. LOL! But I did, and what I learned there was a huge help to me.
I think I understand what she means by this. When someone is in rehab, they are concentrating solely on getting better. They don't have to deal with the day-to-day life on the outside. They're protected, in a way. They feel safe. I know that's how I felt.
I didn't go to what would be called a real "rehabilitation center" for long-term care. I went to a small hospital that deals with addictions and psychological issues for a short-term stay. I was there for 6 days. Others stayed a few weeks, others stayed longer. During that six days, I was medically detoxed, saw a doctor each morning, vitals checked every 4 hours, fed very well, lots of classes teaching coping skills, and AA meetings.
It can seem like a safe place simply because they aren't having to deal with life on the outside. I didn't want to leave. LOL! But I did, and what I learned there was a huge help to me.
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Originally Posted by anvilhead 
for many addicts the thought of NEVER USING AGAIN seems impossible.
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Yes suki44883, that's what I meant by that statement. I guess it's kind of two different things- first just being off drugs and then second to go back into the world and start living it without your crutch you've been using for so long. I like your comment anvilhead that rehab is a 'start' and that it is a much longer process than that little time in rehab.
My addict has bills in such but simply no money so they just dont get paid, he lives at home, no dependents and no vehicle to make payments, no job. He said he's really lucky, things are still intact for him and it's not too bad a mess to clean up than most, however he prob just said that to make me feel better. Maybe he just downplayed all the things he had to take care of and maybe his debts are a huge mental burden, not sure he never talked about it much. But- now is a difficult time, it's hard for anyone to find a job let alone him I think thats messing with him, he's overwhelmed because he's realizing it's harder than he thought it would be. I think when he was in rehab he wasn't expecting it to be this difficult, he thought he'd have a job within a couple weeks of being out.
I think I understand what you're saying, being in rehab is more of a mental challenge, a mind game with yourself and the stigmatism of rehab. I can sort of see what you mean by it being a big void, I can relate to him and I- him not having his drugs is like me not having him, I feel lonely and a void without him.
My addict has bills in such but simply no money so they just dont get paid, he lives at home, no dependents and no vehicle to make payments, no job. He said he's really lucky, things are still intact for him and it's not too bad a mess to clean up than most, however he prob just said that to make me feel better. Maybe he just downplayed all the things he had to take care of and maybe his debts are a huge mental burden, not sure he never talked about it much. But- now is a difficult time, it's hard for anyone to find a job let alone him I think thats messing with him, he's overwhelmed because he's realizing it's harder than he thought it would be. I think when he was in rehab he wasn't expecting it to be this difficult, he thought he'd have a job within a couple weeks of being out.
I think I understand what you're saying, being in rehab is more of a mental challenge, a mind game with yourself and the stigmatism of rehab. I can sort of see what you mean by it being a big void, I can relate to him and I- him not having his drugs is like me not having him, I feel lonely and a void without him.
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I was detoxed from drugs long before I went into rehab. I went to try to save a career which insisted on rehab. So it was strange to be clean and sober amongst people that were on detox drugs. I really had a hard time in the beginning because I left my supportive family and was not allowed to call home or actually considered to have any common sense or ability to make a decision for myself. It was extremely hard to do this. I stayed exhausted in rehab because they had us running from dawn to nearly midnight, there was not that much downtime but they did try to fit in some time so we could work on all the homework.
I had to still consider the outside, I worried how I was going to pay for this venture, who would be taking care of my family while my husband was at work, I had to deal with state agencies while in rehab, so it was not any sort of a vacation. I had to dredge up painful past memories that really needed to have stayed buried. I did not enjoy it, but I did use it as a tool. The tool being that I would never ever allow anyone or anything to cause me to ever have to return to such a setting. I suppose the fear of having to go back to rehab is a tool that keeps me clean.
And I only felt safe for about 2 weeks, the rest of the time was spent dealing with people that I really could not understand nor relate to in any shape or form, it was just not a nice place to have to be and some of the people including the counselors were not nice to deal with so it's not a spa. It was real work.
I had to still consider the outside, I worried how I was going to pay for this venture, who would be taking care of my family while my husband was at work, I had to deal with state agencies while in rehab, so it was not any sort of a vacation. I had to dredge up painful past memories that really needed to have stayed buried. I did not enjoy it, but I did use it as a tool. The tool being that I would never ever allow anyone or anything to cause me to ever have to return to such a setting. I suppose the fear of having to go back to rehab is a tool that keeps me clean.
And I only felt safe for about 2 weeks, the rest of the time was spent dealing with people that I really could not understand nor relate to in any shape or form, it was just not a nice place to have to be and some of the people including the counselors were not nice to deal with so it's not a spa. It was real work.
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I went through a wonderful 30 day rehab that was 12 step based. It gave me a good running start on recovery.
That being said, I did drink/use again after 4 years in recovery, and rehab wasn't even an option.
When I was done hurting, I drug myself up the steps of my home group and started over again.
There was no reason to repeat rehab because they gave me recovery tools to work with. I just had to pick those tools up again and get busy.
There are those rehab-savvy folks who go time and time again. Either they are getting someone off their back, are court-ordered, a number of reasons.
There was one lady here locally who had been more than a dozen times.
Her parents literally loved her to death.
She ran two businesses into the ground. Actually all the profits went up her nose. Her parents funded both of those businesses.
They made sure she had a house to live in, car to drive, and money in her pocket.
Last time I saw her alive, she weighed maybe 85 pounds soaking wet. She had no teeth left. She looked like she was 80 years old. She was 50. She died a short time later.
Why didn't she 'get' recovery?
She didn't want it. She was taken care of. Her system of enablers kept her comfortable.
That being said, I did drink/use again after 4 years in recovery, and rehab wasn't even an option.
When I was done hurting, I drug myself up the steps of my home group and started over again.
There was no reason to repeat rehab because they gave me recovery tools to work with. I just had to pick those tools up again and get busy.
There are those rehab-savvy folks who go time and time again. Either they are getting someone off their back, are court-ordered, a number of reasons.
There was one lady here locally who had been more than a dozen times.
Her parents literally loved her to death.
She ran two businesses into the ground. Actually all the profits went up her nose. Her parents funded both of those businesses.
They made sure she had a house to live in, car to drive, and money in her pocket.
Last time I saw her alive, she weighed maybe 85 pounds soaking wet. She had no teeth left. She looked like she was 80 years old. She was 50. She died a short time later.
Why didn't she 'get' recovery?
She didn't want it. She was taken care of. Her system of enablers kept her comfortable.
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: new york
Posts: 227
Originally Posted by Freedom1990
There are those rehab-savvy folks who go time and time again. Either they are getting someone off their back, are court-ordered, a number of reasons.
There was one lady here locally who had been more than a dozen times.
Her parents literally loved her to death.
She ran two businesses into the ground. Actually all the profits went up her nose. Her parents funded both of those businesses.
They made sure she had a house to live in, car to drive, and money in her pocket.
Last time I saw her alive, she weighed maybe 85 pounds soaking wet. She had no teeth left. She looked like she was 80 years old. She was 50. She died a short time later.
Why didn't she 'get' recovery?
She didn't want it. She was taken care of. Her system of enablers kept her comfortable.
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
Such good comments made by everyone about the rehab experience - they are all true, imo.
I have not been to, as I am not an addict. I consider myself a codependent: dependent on the addict, an enabler of the addict, so attached to the addict at times it is like he is my drug of choice.
I would add one to Hello-Kitty's list:
11. Don't want the super-structure of being in the program - Mine bristles at the people in authority telling him what to do (even though his head knows it's the right thing)
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, it says that the bottom line reason some don't get sober, is the inability to get really really honest. There are many levels of honesty and these people live in denial (again,many levels) for so long. Yes, you have to dig DEEP, and it's difficult, painful, humbling. It can cause intense feelings of shame -- over what they have done, and who they are.
I understand the notion that Rehab is kinda like being on vacation - you get your basic needs taken care of, and get to go to an island where the things of life that frustrate you and overwhelm you are kept outside those walls; it certainly can seem like they get to go to a no-frills kind of spa. But what those who have been have said, it's not free from stress. My ABF was exhausted every day; he was tired of talking about himself and his old lifestyle, and he has a hard time handling facing what he has done to the people he cares about. Doing this stuff without the emotion-numbing assistance of drugs is tough, and foreign to an addict. Even so, I think that hard as the rehab experience is, it is much harder to get out and have to face life in a whole new way, without that old friend: "take my pain away".
I have not been to, as I am not an addict. I consider myself a codependent: dependent on the addict, an enabler of the addict, so attached to the addict at times it is like he is my drug of choice.
I would add one to Hello-Kitty's list:
11. Don't want the super-structure of being in the program - Mine bristles at the people in authority telling him what to do (even though his head knows it's the right thing)
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, it says that the bottom line reason some don't get sober, is the inability to get really really honest. There are many levels of honesty and these people live in denial (again,many levels) for so long. Yes, you have to dig DEEP, and it's difficult, painful, humbling. It can cause intense feelings of shame -- over what they have done, and who they are.
I understand the notion that Rehab is kinda like being on vacation - you get your basic needs taken care of, and get to go to an island where the things of life that frustrate you and overwhelm you are kept outside those walls; it certainly can seem like they get to go to a no-frills kind of spa. But what those who have been have said, it's not free from stress. My ABF was exhausted every day; he was tired of talking about himself and his old lifestyle, and he has a hard time handling facing what he has done to the people he cares about. Doing this stuff without the emotion-numbing assistance of drugs is tough, and foreign to an addict. Even so, I think that hard as the rehab experience is, it is much harder to get out and have to face life in a whole new way, without that old friend: "take my pain away".
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