12stepnchick

As if things couldn't get more insane in my life, my boss calls me into the office yesterday and confides in me that he is going to be retiring soon and that he was letting a few people he "trusted" know this. (Now this is after months ago I confronted him about this and he denied it-being the devils advocate maybe at that time he wasn't planning it) However, he is now.

Now when he does, there is a possibility that the man under him could become the next big boss..........this same man that when he started there I and several other people had to go to the boss and make informal complaints about him.

I'm pretty sure it's a safe bet that my now boss, has at some point told this up and comer that I was one of the few that complained, so now I am thinking my head will be on the chopping block.

I've been at this place 13 yrs and in 6mths have to accept that this man MAY be my big boss. There are many issues with this man and as far as I can tell there is not a single person there that cares for him, so I know it is not just me-which I originally thought.

So my issue is this,,,,,,,,,,I can't talk to anyone at work about it as I was told in confidence and as far as I know I could be the only one who knows-honesty is not rampant there. I also maybe looking at this man as a boss in the next 6mths, in which case I could be fired or downsized for no reason, and I layed awake all night thinking about how in 6mths I could looose everything........my house, my home, my car all of it.........there are NO jobs in this area and I couldn't make it a month on unemployment, plus there are my health insurance and issues there.

So I need some ESH on HOW to keep in THIS DAY=TODAY and not worry about what might or might never be.....and it is VERY hard.........I'm a single mom with a limited income, so there are huge finincial burdens that I have to look at.

But I'm smart enough to know I can't do another 6mths with this anxiety level without loosing my mind.........

So tell me how you do it? How do you NOT project? And how can I put my trust back in a HP that I feel so angry at? And how do you stay in the NOW?

thanks so much.

transformyself

Hey, it looks like you're reliving the same nightmare over and over again. This happens to me as well, until I learn to let go.

I just try to have acceptance in the moment of what is, then do what I believe is the right thing and release attachment to outcome.

Realistically, you could either detach and not engage in this drama, or start looking for another job. Change yourself, or change your environment.

jdh

I understand the anxiety you have about a job. When my business partners kicked me and my son out because of his drug addiction (Also one of the partners wanted the business for himself without us anyway) I wasn't sure how I was going to make it.

Do not worry about what your imagination thinks might happen. Stop those thought now. They will destory you. Do what anvilhead says and start now and be cordial. Build a better relationship, professional not personal. Good Luck and I hope it goes well!

Learn2Live

"So tell me how you do it? How do you NOT project? And how can I put my trust back in a HP that I feel so angry at? And how do you stay in the NOW?"

Are you going to alanon meetings? They are good for grounding a person in the present moment.

Ask yourself, what can I control in this situation? Your Self. Your attitude. How you get along with others. Put yourself in the other person's position.

Why are you angry at your higher power? Do you feel you can turn your problems over to your HP if you are angry at your HP? Is there someone local to you that you can discuss this anger with to help you work through it?

barb dwyer

Ok.
Let's see if I can do this:

Now - when you look at this post - I've highlighted what is "real".
That I see.




So: the highlighted part .... is what's actually happened.

None of that other stuff....
NONE of it -
is right here.
Not a bit of it is .... NOW.

Okay.

So.
RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW...
Your boss is retiring.

There COULD be problems...
but there AREN'T problems... right now.

Six months is a long time when one is looking at the world through ACTION.

SO -
guess what you just found out today?
you need a plan.
And you've got time to come up with something if the worst happens.

RIGHT NOW -
it's not happening.

See what I'm saying?
There was the news- that's real -
but all the other stuff was running down the 'worst possible' road.

Don't do that.

USE it - to make your plan.

Are you sure you can't go back and talk to the boss?
I mean, if he trusted you with this info -
maybe tell him your reservations.

Maybe he told you because he also thinks you'll get shafted.
IF THAT *IS* what it is -
youve been give time to get ready.

Don't waste energy or time freaking....
unless you set an alarm clock and then end freaking when it goes off.
USE that energy
for a plan.

Is this making sense?

It also gives you 6 mos to get on this guy's good side.
Or gather enough dirt to have him taken out of the running.

wicked

Barb,
You are amazing.
I remember now, what is actually happening?
And what I am just thinking is happening?
Hmmm.
Much food for thought.
Beth

wicked

And this is great, everything boiled down to its essence 12stepnchick.
(excellent name by the way)

barb dwyer

I'm nothing if not ruthless as all hell.

*shrug*