New and Confused
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 4
New and Confused
Hi everyone, I am new to here and wanted to say reading some of the posts while contemplating joining has already helped. So I want to say Thank You.
I recently learned that my fiance has been addicted to percocets for the past 7 months. He came clean with me, I did not find anything to call him on it. He told me he had stopped taking them 3 weeks ago and wants help. I am supporting him as much as I can but feel like my feelings about it all are being ignored. I am sooooo proud of him for dealing with this all and being honest, but I have my own recovery to go through and don't really feel his support with it.
He has been going to NA for about a week now and says he wants to continue to go to not only there but a private psychologist as well. I am going to attempt my first Nar-Anon meeting tonight, and am very nervous. Anyone have any experience with this they would be willing to share to help prepare me.
I am sorry if I am rambling. I am just nervous and scared at the same time.
Thank you.
I recently learned that my fiance has been addicted to percocets for the past 7 months. He came clean with me, I did not find anything to call him on it. He told me he had stopped taking them 3 weeks ago and wants help. I am supporting him as much as I can but feel like my feelings about it all are being ignored. I am sooooo proud of him for dealing with this all and being honest, but I have my own recovery to go through and don't really feel his support with it.
He has been going to NA for about a week now and says he wants to continue to go to not only there but a private psychologist as well. I am going to attempt my first Nar-Anon meeting tonight, and am very nervous. Anyone have any experience with this they would be willing to share to help prepare me.
I am sorry if I am rambling. I am just nervous and scared at the same time.
Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
I am supporting him as much as I can but feel like my feelings about it all are being ignored.
How long have you been in recovery?
He will have to become very selfish about his recovery and be very dedicated, as I am sure you know.
I think the NarAnon meeting will be a great idea for you. You will probably meet people in the same position who can give your their experience with a newly recovering addict.
Remember, your recovery must come first, foremost and always.
Don't lose what you have gained. Jealously guard your sobriety.
Beth
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 4
Thank you Beth, this all came to light last weekend. Everything is still very new to me.
Tonight will be my first meeting. I guess I am afriad people will tell me to leave him. When I just can't leave someone who is finally getting the help they need. If he refused too or wasn't as dedicated to it I might feel differently. He has lived a VERY difficult life (losing a parent at a young age, only to be brought up by someone who was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive) He realizes he needs help for ALL of these problems and is seeking it. I can't give up on someone like that.
Tonight will be my first meeting. I guess I am afriad people will tell me to leave him. When I just can't leave someone who is finally getting the help they need. If he refused too or wasn't as dedicated to it I might feel differently. He has lived a VERY difficult life (losing a parent at a young age, only to be brought up by someone who was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive) He realizes he needs help for ALL of these problems and is seeking it. I can't give up on someone like that.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome to SR, Lovongfiance, I'm glad you joined us.
Sadly, there is nothing we can do to change anyone except ourselves, but the good news is that we can and do find a better way to live, regardless of how our addicts do.
I'm glad you have found a meeting for yourself, many of us here found our lifeline at live meetings. Try not to be nervous, they are warm people there who will welcome you also and who understand what you are going through.
My son is the addict in my life and after years of losing myself in his addiction, I finally surrendered and found a meeting too, and a sponsor who guided me through the 12-steps and changed my life.
Today I live well, am happy each morning when I wake up and I no longer live my life in fear and sadness. My son has been missing for over 5 years, lost somewhere in his addiction, and I learned to give his care over to God each morning and then live my life knowing he is in good hands.
Others will be along to welcome you also. Make yourself comfortable here and know you have found a good place.
Hugs
Sadly, there is nothing we can do to change anyone except ourselves, but the good news is that we can and do find a better way to live, regardless of how our addicts do.
I'm glad you have found a meeting for yourself, many of us here found our lifeline at live meetings. Try not to be nervous, they are warm people there who will welcome you also and who understand what you are going through.
My son is the addict in my life and after years of losing myself in his addiction, I finally surrendered and found a meeting too, and a sponsor who guided me through the 12-steps and changed my life.
Today I live well, am happy each morning when I wake up and I no longer live my life in fear and sadness. My son has been missing for over 5 years, lost somewhere in his addiction, and I learned to give his care over to God each morning and then live my life knowing he is in good hands.
Others will be along to welcome you also. Make yourself comfortable here and know you have found a good place.
Hugs
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I think I am strong today, but I didn't get that way overnight.
What gave me hope when I needed it most was at my own first meeting. I saw a group of people whose lives were worse than mine, yet they were smiling and seemed at peace, and they handed me tissues all night because all I could do was sit there and cry.
They had something I wanted, serenity. I didn't know how they got it but they each shared what worked for them. I was willing to do whatever I needed to do to regain my sanity because when I first walked through that door I was exhausted and beaten.
Our program is not about telling anyone whether they should stay or leave (unless physical abuse or child abuse is involved), it's about sharing what helped us make our own choices, and holding your hand through dark times.
Strong? Maybe. At peace with myself and life? Most definitely.
Hugs
What gave me hope when I needed it most was at my own first meeting. I saw a group of people whose lives were worse than mine, yet they were smiling and seemed at peace, and they handed me tissues all night because all I could do was sit there and cry.
They had something I wanted, serenity. I didn't know how they got it but they each shared what worked for them. I was willing to do whatever I needed to do to regain my sanity because when I first walked through that door I was exhausted and beaten.
Our program is not about telling anyone whether they should stay or leave (unless physical abuse or child abuse is involved), it's about sharing what helped us make our own choices, and holding your hand through dark times.
Strong? Maybe. At peace with myself and life? Most definitely.
Hugs
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