He's threating suicide...
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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He's threating suicide...
Well, some of you guys know my story by now...
So I did it. I left him for 3 days until he came back to my moms house today. He says he needs me back in his life or his going to commit suicide...he looked really bad...
I told him I would drive him to the hospital and he agreed. On the way there, he spit in my face and told me to go home. I took him to his house with his dad's truck...i was going to ride my bike home and he threw it into the woods..so I started walking and realized it was going to take me 4 hours to get home..
So I called my friend for a ride, he is the only other person that has seen everything that goes on in the house. He knows whats up. He is Cory's last friend...well Cory knew I was going over there for support, and he was pissed that I was "telling" everyone about what was going on..but he is my friend too and he cares about me, and him for that matter.
His crazy mental ill father walked in as we are doing this intervention. Making a peanut butter sandwich like nothing was wrong. We said he has to go to the hospital...that there was no other way...cory thinks we are trying to take him away from his family who placed so much burden on him at 22...we just want him to be happy and place his anger in the right places...
He agreed and got in the shower...but stayed there...and thats the last i saw of him...
He is blaming me for his problems..he says it's all my fault..that he will never stop drinking without me...that his parents aren't there for him...he says he's going to make me regret what I've done once he's gone...
and he looked up at me in the shower when I asked him if he would get help...and said "im sorry i can't" with tears in his face...ryan was yelling and i was being nice...but we both said 1 week and we are done....
I haven't heard from him ALL day...I'm scared he actually did it..usually he messages me as soon as he misses me...im so scared..
So I did it. I left him for 3 days until he came back to my moms house today. He says he needs me back in his life or his going to commit suicide...he looked really bad...
I told him I would drive him to the hospital and he agreed. On the way there, he spit in my face and told me to go home. I took him to his house with his dad's truck...i was going to ride my bike home and he threw it into the woods..so I started walking and realized it was going to take me 4 hours to get home..
So I called my friend for a ride, he is the only other person that has seen everything that goes on in the house. He knows whats up. He is Cory's last friend...well Cory knew I was going over there for support, and he was pissed that I was "telling" everyone about what was going on..but he is my friend too and he cares about me, and him for that matter.
His crazy mental ill father walked in as we are doing this intervention. Making a peanut butter sandwich like nothing was wrong. We said he has to go to the hospital...that there was no other way...cory thinks we are trying to take him away from his family who placed so much burden on him at 22...we just want him to be happy and place his anger in the right places...
He agreed and got in the shower...but stayed there...and thats the last i saw of him...
He is blaming me for his problems..he says it's all my fault..that he will never stop drinking without me...that his parents aren't there for him...he says he's going to make me regret what I've done once he's gone...
and he looked up at me in the shower when I asked him if he would get help...and said "im sorry i can't" with tears in his face...ryan was yelling and i was being nice...but we both said 1 week and we are done....
I haven't heard from him ALL day...I'm scared he actually did it..usually he messages me as soon as he misses me...im so scared..
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he needs to go to the hospital. and if you buy into this drama, it will be a recurring pattern. has he contacted you yet? are you not able to contact him? i know you shouldn't feel like you have to help him, and you don't! but you might feel better if you could just call his bluff (or maybe it's not) and take him to the e.r. when they hear he has threatened suicide, they have to admit him and hold him for 72 hours - or longer.
it would be at this point that i would write him off, probably letting him know that you are out of his life.
it's very doubtful that he will carry out the threat, especially since he's using it to manipulate you. i think if he truly wanted to kill himself, he would have. but i never take suicidal comments lightly. you never really know. that's why i said what i did.
it would be at this point that i would write him off, probably letting him know that you are out of his life.
it's very doubtful that he will carry out the threat, especially since he's using it to manipulate you. i think if he truly wanted to kill himself, he would have. but i never take suicidal comments lightly. you never really know. that's why i said what i did.
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Originally Posted by coffeedrinker 
he needs to go to the hospital. and if you buy into this drama, it will be a recurring pattern. has he contacted you yet? are you not able to contact him? i know you shouldn't feel like you have to help him, and you don't! but you might feel better if you could just call his bluff (or maybe it's not) and take him to the e.r. when they hear he has threatened suicide, they have to admit him and hold him for 72 hours - or longer.
it would be at this point that i would write him off, probably letting him know that you are out of his life.
it's very doubtful that he will carry out the threat, especially since he's using it to manipulate you. i think if he truly wanted to kill himself, he would have. but i never take suicidal comments lightly. you never really know. that's why i said what i did.
it would be at this point that i would write him off, probably letting him know that you are out of his life.
it's very doubtful that he will carry out the threat, especially since he's using it to manipulate you. i think if he truly wanted to kill himself, he would have. but i never take suicidal comments lightly. you never really know. that's why i said what i did.
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If he is threatening suicide, call the police. If it turns out to be nothing, fine. DO NOT go over there or keep calling him. It's highly probable that he's just trying to get you to feel sorry for him, but, if you suspect he might have actually done something, call the police and let them handle it.
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If someone threatens suicide, the best thing to do is call 911. You are not qualified to help anyone who is in that state. Call in the professionals. If he is serious, you will have saved his life. If he is bluffing and trying to manipulate you, you called his bluff.
L
L
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YOU haven't done anything to cause this suicide threat. He's just pulling out all the stops to get you to come back. If you go back, there is no telling what might happen to you, and the chances are excellent that you will end up leaving again. Let the police handle it.
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YOU haven't done anything, emerald, except protect yourself from an abusive person.
HE has refused to get help for his problems.
If he threatens suicide again, please call 911. It will do both of these things for you:
1) if he's serious, it will get him the help he needs
2) if he's just manipulating you, he will learn not to threaten you in this way (no one wants the hassle of dealing with the police)
Please don't let him hurt you again. That's not love.
p.s. have you considered how much damage is being done to the kids by staying in that situation? Have you thought that perhaps it would be better for them to be placed in a stable, safe home for now?
HE has refused to get help for his problems.
If he threatens suicide again, please call 911. It will do both of these things for you:
1) if he's serious, it will get him the help he needs
2) if he's just manipulating you, he will learn not to threaten you in this way (no one wants the hassle of dealing with the police)
Please don't let him hurt you again. That's not love.
p.s. have you considered how much damage is being done to the kids by staying in that situation? Have you thought that perhaps it would be better for them to be placed in a stable, safe home for now?
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Yeah, but those are his brothers and sisters and that was the whole reason we moved in, in the first place..to take care of them
He would hate me forever because they got taken away when he was little and they had to fight to get custody, but his dad is a disabled vet who is also an addict himself....
He would hate me forever because they got taken away when he was little and they had to fight to get custody, but his dad is a disabled vet who is also an addict himself....
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You aren't superwoman, emerald. You can't save Cory from himself, and you can't save those kids by sacrificing your own life. It won't work.
I grew up in a household with addicts. It did so much damage to me that it took 20 years to even start to get better. It would not be the worst thing in the world for them to be in foster care where at least they don't have to deal with the madness of addiction every day, day in and day out.
Paramedics aren't going to take the kids away anyway. They might take Cory away to a place where he can be put under safe observation. Honest to god, he's drunk and abusive all the time NOW.....how could calling 911 possibly make things worse? If he threatens suicide, having him taken into a medical facility may save his life and give him a chance at reaching his bottom.
Take care of yourself. You are not god. You didn't cause this situation, you can't control it, you will not cure it. Please protect yourself from this insanity.
I grew up in a household with addicts. It did so much damage to me that it took 20 years to even start to get better. It would not be the worst thing in the world for them to be in foster care where at least they don't have to deal with the madness of addiction every day, day in and day out.
Paramedics aren't going to take the kids away anyway. They might take Cory away to a place where he can be put under safe observation. Honest to god, he's drunk and abusive all the time NOW.....how could calling 911 possibly make things worse? If he threatens suicide, having him taken into a medical facility may save his life and give him a chance at reaching his bottom.
Take care of yourself. You are not god. You didn't cause this situation, you can't control it, you will not cure it. Please protect yourself from this insanity.
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okay deep breath, My AH did this too. He came over to my aptment, drunk, crying, kissing the kids goodbye. I didn't do anything that time, well I may have called my in-laws. The next time he called me @ 5 or 6 am to tell me "goodbye". I was exhausted still in bed. I picked up the phone and called my MIL. I said "he is acting like he is going to kill himself again". She drove over and took him to the hospital. He stayed for 2 days.
I guess my point is, it isn't your burdon to carry. If you are worried, then I would call a friend to check on him if you don't want the police involved.
But what is best for those kids? Is there someone stable that can take them in? The cycle has to stop.
I guess my point is, it isn't your burdon to carry. If you are worried, then I would call a friend to check on him if you don't want the police involved.
But what is best for those kids? Is there someone stable that can take them in? The cycle has to stop.
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I just wanted to add that I told my AH many times, that if he truely wanted to kill himself, there was nothing I could do to stop it. My inlaw's didn't care for that statement. but it is true.
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EmeraldStorm,
Please, try to understand that Cory is no longer there. There is an alcohol hijacked brain running Cory right now. There is no reasoning with him. The monster does not care who he hurts, and knows nothing of love. The monster spit in your face, threw your bike in the woods, threatens suicide for attention and to scare you silly. Is this the man you love?
The only way, truly the only way to get Cory back and put the monster in check is for him to get professional help. Please call 911 so he can get the help he so desperately needs to become human again.
And those kids need serious professional help too. Even if they did not witness this episode, I am telling you from personal experience that they are terrified, horrified, filled with shame, disgust and guilt for even having these feelings about their brother.
EmeraldStorm,
I am a recovering alcholic, when I went to treatment my two youngest children went to foster care for six weeks. Oh yes, I felt very sorry for myself, that is what drunks do best. When I finally realized it was about becoming sober to become a better parent, I worked very very hard to get sober and stay that way.
I was raised by a raging alcoholic and a severely depressed adult child of an alcoholic.
One psychiatrist I spoke to when I was on active duty told me I had PTSD. Post traumatic stress disorder, from my childhood.
I know you love Cory, and you want him to get help. That will only happen when Cory wants it to happen and not before.
The children deserve to live a peaceful, nearly stress free life. Please put their welfare above Cory's for now and call the authorities, the damage can be stopped and reversed.
EmeraldStorm, I understand why you are hanging in there, despite all the horrible things that are going on. I have been there, but ES, what you are doing to yourself is demoralizing and will eventually suck the life out of you. You must save yourself, or you will not be able to support Cory or his siblings when your spirit has been burned up and blown away like the ashes from a fire.
Please call the authorities to save them. You are not equipped to deal with this chaos, and believe me, it only gets worse from here.
Thank you for reading EmeraldStorm,
I am trying very hard to say this gently and with great respect for your strength so far.
You can do this.
Please, try to understand that Cory is no longer there. There is an alcohol hijacked brain running Cory right now. There is no reasoning with him. The monster does not care who he hurts, and knows nothing of love. The monster spit in your face, threw your bike in the woods, threatens suicide for attention and to scare you silly. Is this the man you love?
The only way, truly the only way to get Cory back and put the monster in check is for him to get professional help. Please call 911 so he can get the help he so desperately needs to become human again.
And those kids need serious professional help too. Even if they did not witness this episode, I am telling you from personal experience that they are terrified, horrified, filled with shame, disgust and guilt for even having these feelings about their brother.
EmeraldStorm,
I am a recovering alcholic, when I went to treatment my two youngest children went to foster care for six weeks. Oh yes, I felt very sorry for myself, that is what drunks do best. When I finally realized it was about becoming sober to become a better parent, I worked very very hard to get sober and stay that way.
I was raised by a raging alcoholic and a severely depressed adult child of an alcoholic.
One psychiatrist I spoke to when I was on active duty told me I had PTSD. Post traumatic stress disorder, from my childhood.
I know you love Cory, and you want him to get help. That will only happen when Cory wants it to happen and not before.
The children deserve to live a peaceful, nearly stress free life. Please put their welfare above Cory's for now and call the authorities, the damage can be stopped and reversed.
EmeraldStorm, I understand why you are hanging in there, despite all the horrible things that are going on. I have been there, but ES, what you are doing to yourself is demoralizing and will eventually suck the life out of you. You must save yourself, or you will not be able to support Cory or his siblings when your spirit has been burned up and blown away like the ashes from a fire.
Please call the authorities to save them. You are not equipped to deal with this chaos, and believe me, it only gets worse from here.
Thank you for reading EmeraldStorm,
I am trying very hard to say this gently and with great respect for your strength so far.
You can do this.
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Emerald, you are a very young girl who is totally out of her depth with the chaos of this family. You are doing no good for them, nothing has changed despite all you have done, and they are doing no good for you.
Cory is NOT your loving boyfriend...he is a drunk and abusive to you, because he is totally and utterly driven by his desperate need for alcohol.
He cannot care about you and not even for his siblings, as despite all his words of "taking care"of those kids, he is doing nothing.
Leave him to God to sort out, because my dear girl, he is beyond anything you can do.
I believe those poor children need to be in a stable and safe place, not left depending on their doped up dad, drunk Cory, or you....to provide for them, because up to now it has not worked.
Call the authorities about Cory and his suicide threats, then leave it to those trained to handle situations like this. As for Cory being upset or angry, well bully for him. He is a big boy, a drunk an a bully, but not a small child, so let him face the truth...if his siblings are taken into care it is NOT your fault, it will be because neither he nor his dad are able to care for them due to their addictions.
I do hope and pray you will finally stop trying to save this family, as you are not that powerful, and all that you will get is more chaos, abuse and despair. Stop now.
God bless
Cory is NOT your loving boyfriend...he is a drunk and abusive to you, because he is totally and utterly driven by his desperate need for alcohol.
He cannot care about you and not even for his siblings, as despite all his words of "taking care"of those kids, he is doing nothing.
Leave him to God to sort out, because my dear girl, he is beyond anything you can do.
I believe those poor children need to be in a stable and safe place, not left depending on their doped up dad, drunk Cory, or you....to provide for them, because up to now it has not worked.
Call the authorities about Cory and his suicide threats, then leave it to those trained to handle situations like this. As for Cory being upset or angry, well bully for him. He is a big boy, a drunk an a bully, but not a small child, so let him face the truth...if his siblings are taken into care it is NOT your fault, it will be because neither he nor his dad are able to care for them due to their addictions.
I do hope and pray you will finally stop trying to save this family, as you are not that powerful, and all that you will get is more chaos, abuse and despair. Stop now.
God bless
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I agree with the above. Also, I have good insight into foster homes and gind they often provide a very loving stable environment. The kiss sound like they will be better off there.
Also, my xabf threatened suicide several times. The last time, I told him that if he wanted to kill himself to hurt me, I would hurt but eventually move on with my life despite the guilt. He never hit me, but was at the stage of throwing things at me. That was another catalyst for getting out. Please stay away from Cory. I am worried he will physically harm you, and not just by spitting in your face. Hugs and prayers.
Also, my xabf threatened suicide several times. The last time, I told him that if he wanted to kill himself to hurt me, I would hurt but eventually move on with my life despite the guilt. He never hit me, but was at the stage of throwing things at me. That was another catalyst for getting out. Please stay away from Cory. I am worried he will physically harm you, and not just by spitting in your face. Hugs and prayers.
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Originally Posted by Emeraldstorm
I'm afraid to call the police, because I don't want to be the reason the kids get taken away...im scared of his family...they are all unstable..
You've said that the entire family is unstable...is this a healthy and safe environment for children to grow up in?
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