ACAL500

Well I am completely new here as of a few days ago, and I thought I could introduce myself here. My name is Aaron and I am an alcoholic. I have been an off and on drinker since freshman year in college about 7 yeers ago. I got a Dui once and it forced me to go through a program involving AA and diversion classes for a while, which also kept me sober for over 3 months. After that, I slowly got back into social drinking. Well some nights I can handle a few and call it quits, and others I end up binging and blacking out. I have delt with it fine for a while, with a promise to myself that I would never drink and drive again. Which I have kept good on that promise for a long time now. With blackouts and all, I tend to be an although stupid, a very jolly drunk, so I never minded too much. However the other night, I had another one of my blackout spells and ended up driving. Thank God that nothing happened, other than a bad hangover and not knowing where my car was in the morning. Oddly, I would not be here if I had just blacked out, but I have been soooo mad at myself for that incident ever since, that I have realized that I cannot control it any longer and could use the extra help. I consider myself very very lucky that I have never hurt anyone other than myself in my endeavers (other than a few feelings or two of others). So I have tackled the task of cutting alcohol out of my life alltogether. Thanks for all of the support I have recieved from some of you already, Good luck to me and all of you

Luckyv2

Welcome! I'm Vic I'm a alcoholic of sorts. Glad to meet you.

Just keep on keeping on and all will be OK don't drink!:ghug3

MahiMahi

Hi ACAL500,

Welcome to SR, you will find tons of support here to help you with your recovery. Stay sober and many good things will come your way. Keep us posted and hang in there.

Pancake

WELCOME Officially to SR ACAL500

That was an awesome and honest share first post friend! Thank you for sharing and it's so good to have you with the SR Family. Soberiety is worth the effort and you won't regret it for sure!

Love Pancake xo

HumbleBee

Welcome to SR, Aaron ~

You're in the right place for support from people like me who also know the feeling of shame, anger and guilt over broken promises to ourselves.

It's obvious to me now that all judgement and any sense of rational thinking is gone when we drink so promises to not drive really are meaningless.

(IMO): Control is just a fantasy, not causing injury or death is pure luck and words without action is futile.

You've made a great decision, Aaron. Do you have a plan yet?

Anna

Hi Acal,

Welcome!

By the time I stopped drinking, my anxiety level was through the roof. I was so tired of forgetting things, wondering what I had done or who I had called.

I am so glad you joined us.

coffeenut

Welcome! Glad you are here!

Hevyn

Hi Aaron! I was like you in my twenties - I could still control it back then to some degree. I never faced up to the fact that I was growing dependent on it. I lived my whole life using it as a crutch, and my "best friend". As they say, it's a progressive disease - I ended up with 3 dui's and chaos in every part of my life. I found SR one night looking for health issues of alcoholics (I was having some internal bleeding). Still wasn't sure I should or could quit, but these people gave me the courage & strength to do it.

I'm so glad you've found us, and congratulations on doing the right thing. You'll never have to experience the hell many of us did before we saw the light.

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community.....

NEOMARXIST

Hi Mate. Sounds familiar. I am a blackout binge drinker. Always was from day one, can't see how not to be. Used to laugh about it back in the day but then things like drink driving convictions and other bad sh*t starts to happen.

I got sober at 23 and have 8+ months now. If I was to drink then I couldn't say that I wouldn't drive again or anything else. When I am intoxicated, then all bets are off, as they say. I am not me really but a crazed alcoholic. I am very calm and collected when sober mindyou.

First step imo is admitting and accepting you're an alcoholic. One drink is too many and 10000 is never enough. It is the first drink that does all the damage. You cannot drink alcohol anymore, period. Just for today.

All The best.

ACAL500

Thank you all for the great responses. I have been pretty active these last few days, snowboarding and family outings and whatnot. So I finally got to come check them out and they are very encouraging. I have been put in a few awkward positions already, like when my snowboard buddy brought beer and was put out when I turned him down when he wanted to drink with me. I explained my intention of recovery and asked for his support, and though the peer pressure was on for a little bit, when I explained the importance this had to me, I think he understood and I MAY not have to cut him out of my life too (since hes one of my oldest and really good friends). As far as a plan, I have not thought out one in too much detail, I have done really well since the start of recovery and whenever I have those little thoughts, I have made my way to the SR chatroom where a few people have seen me quite frequently. I have also made my first meeting last friday in this same chatroom . I have yet to tell my family, I was thinking I would make it a month and then surprise them with it, i dont know. If there is anything I am missing or if I am failing to plan well enough in anyone's opinion, I am up for any ideas since I am new at a WILLING recovery. Thanks again for all of the support, I will try and recipricate to anyone else on this journey. hug

SEC09

I am glad you are here and sharing your experiences. keep coming back