OMG!! I have to see axbf tomorrow
I'm my own best friend
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Reading, PA
Posts: 56
OMG!! I have to see axbf tomorrow
I am so nervous knowing I have to see axbf tomorrow. I have a child support hearing tomorrow, and just thinking about it sends me into a panic. I have not seen him since I filed the pfa, which was two weeks ago. I don't want to see him.
I don't want to look at him. I know I get weak seeing him. I'm not even allowed to talk to him because of the pfa, but I know when I see him, I start to want to ask him, Why? Why did he do this to us? How could you? Why don't you care about us?
I need to be strong. I don't want to even look at him. I don't know how I'm going to handle this. Please pray for me.
I don't want to look at him. I know I get weak seeing him. I'm not even allowed to talk to him because of the pfa, but I know when I see him, I start to want to ask him, Why? Why did he do this to us? How could you? Why don't you care about us?
I need to be strong. I don't want to even look at him. I don't know how I'm going to handle this. Please pray for me.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,905
Can someone go with you to the hearing, like your mother or someone who supports your decisions? Are you sure he'll even be there? Don't awfulize the situation. Haven't you ever heard that 90% of what we worry about never even happens? Hold your head high and remember you are fighting for what's best for your child.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
That would bother me too. do you have an attorney? also I have read on this website that if you contact a local domestic violence women's shelter, they may be able to provide an advocate to go with you.
Perhaps someone has more information about that...
Are you near Berks?
Berks Women in Crisis Home Page
Perhaps someone has more information about that...
Are you near Berks?
Berks Women in Crisis Home Page
I'm my own best friend
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Reading, PA
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by hello-kitty 
That would bother me too. do you have an attorney? also I have read on this website that if you contact a local domestic violence women's shelter, they may be able to provide an advocate to go with you.
Perhaps someone has more information about that...
Are you near Berks?
Berks Women in Crisis Home Page
Perhaps someone has more information about that...
Are you near Berks?
Berks Women in Crisis Home Page
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
Remember expect the unexpected from him...if he shows.
You dont have to look at him. They advise against it. Dont make I contact. Don't aksk hm anything. You are there for your children, and if he whines about no money, remember its not your responsibility to take care of him, you are there for what your children deserve.
If he comes he'll likely bring his girlfriend (I think you said he had one). ALl the more reason to take someone a friend anyone. If theres noone to go, see if since you ahve a protective order you can get a victims advocate to go with you.
Remember the judge's have heard all the garbage from addict dads before and usually see right through it.
One final thing, remember to breathe, you wont be in there forever.
You dont have to look at him. They advise against it. Dont make I contact. Don't aksk hm anything. You are there for your children, and if he whines about no money, remember its not your responsibility to take care of him, you are there for what your children deserve.
If he comes he'll likely bring his girlfriend (I think you said he had one). ALl the more reason to take someone a friend anyone. If theres noone to go, see if since you ahve a protective order you can get a victims advocate to go with you.
Remember the judge's have heard all the garbage from addict dads before and usually see right through it.
One final thing, remember to breathe, you wont be in there forever.
I'm my own best friend
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Reading, PA
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by cinderellawkids
Remember expect the unexpected from him...if he shows.
You dont have to look at him. They advise against it. Dont make I contact. Don't aksk hm anything. You are there for your children, and if he whines about no money, remember its not your responsibility to take care of him, you are there for what your children deserve.
If he comes he'll likely bring his girlfriend (I think you said he had one). ALl the more reason to take someone a friend anyone. If theres noone to go, see if since you ahve a protective order you can get a victims advocate to go with you.
Remember the judge's have heard all the garbage from addict dads before and usually see right through it.
One final thing, remember to breathe, you wont be in there forever.
You dont have to look at him. They advise against it. Dont make I contact. Don't aksk hm anything. You are there for your children, and if he whines about no money, remember its not your responsibility to take care of him, you are there for what your children deserve.
If he comes he'll likely bring his girlfriend (I think you said he had one). ALl the more reason to take someone a friend anyone. If theres noone to go, see if since you ahve a protective order you can get a victims advocate to go with you.
Remember the judge's have heard all the garbage from addict dads before and usually see right through it.
One final thing, remember to breathe, you wont be in there forever.
I will be strong tomorrow. I have faith in myself.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 325
Depending on your county, a domestic abuse advocate may be able to go with you.
With funding cuts, it sometimes is not possible at short notice.
Not sure about your state. But here, if you identify yourself to the clerk when you arrive, they will put you in a special room, so that you do NOT have to sit in a waiting room with them.
I live where I can literally see 3 counties from my window. The one in the city, they do NOT mess around!! Now in my suburban county... they did look at me like I was nuts. But they did find that room! Another thing, you can ask the judge to please have security walk you to your car.
Another thing I did. I carried a prayer card in my pocket. Just one I liked. It brought me peace. That's just me, I'm guessing anything that brings you peace may be helpful.
Good luck!
With funding cuts, it sometimes is not possible at short notice.
Not sure about your state. But here, if you identify yourself to the clerk when you arrive, they will put you in a special room, so that you do NOT have to sit in a waiting room with them.
I live where I can literally see 3 counties from my window. The one in the city, they do NOT mess around!! Now in my suburban county... they did look at me like I was nuts. But they did find that room! Another thing, you can ask the judge to please have security walk you to your car.
Another thing I did. I carried a prayer card in my pocket. Just one I liked. It brought me peace. That's just me, I'm guessing anything that brings you peace may be helpful.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
May the force of SR be with you tomorrow.
My prayers will be going up for you as well.
Roadtrip to PA!!! I'm packing my fanny kicking booties, some jelly beans, and my Pictionary. Swing that bus around and grab me!!!
Alice
My prayers will be going up for you as well.
Roadtrip to PA!!! I'm packing my fanny kicking booties, some jelly beans, and my Pictionary. Swing that bus around and grab me!!!
Alice
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 220
The night before I had to go to court after not seeing him for months, I remember I sat down and wrote out a list. I titled it,
"THE WOMAN I WANT TO BE TOMORROW"
~I want to be strong.
~I want to be un-manipulate-able.
~I want to be serene.
~I want to be compassionate without being weak.
~I want to look successful.
~I want to feel pretty.
You get the idea. I literally wrote myself a script. I concentrated on being that woman who could be strong and proud and calm. I studied my list. I did my hair. I had a manicure. I did my homework. When I went to court the next day, I WAS SO READY!
............and he never showed. But I would have been okay if he had.
And, my friend, you know in your heart of hearts, that he didn't do it to you. He did it because that is what addicts do.
Good luck. Be strong.
Babs
"THE WOMAN I WANT TO BE TOMORROW"
~I want to be strong.
~I want to be un-manipulate-able.
~I want to be serene.
~I want to be compassionate without being weak.
~I want to look successful.
~I want to feel pretty.
You get the idea. I literally wrote myself a script. I concentrated on being that woman who could be strong and proud and calm. I studied my list. I did my hair. I had a manicure. I did my homework. When I went to court the next day, I WAS SO READY!
............and he never showed. But I would have been okay if he had.
And, my friend, you know in your heart of hearts, that he didn't do it to you. He did it because that is what addicts do.
Good luck. Be strong.
Babs
I'm my own best friend
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Reading, PA
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by Insulated
Well it's time to iron that best dress and paint those nails girlfriend! Chin up **** out!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by jewell614
I did go looking very nice. Lucky for me, he never showed up. It worked out for me. Thank you everyone for your advice and support. It is greatly appreciated. Thanks for throwing in some humor. 
:ghug3
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