dallas3300

I have not talked to my XABF for three weeks, until last night. He texted me at
2:30 AM and was likely drunk. He told me that he doesn't care about me, that I should never contact him again, that he doesn't care what I think and say, etc.

It's funny - he says he doesn't care about me and doesn't care what I think - but felt the need to text me in the middle of the night to make me feel like crap.

A month ago, I think I would have had a panic attack, freaked out, and felt like dying all day today. I cried. I went back to sleep. I feel sad today. It's so hard to hear someone who was always so sweet and kind act SO HATEFUL AND MEAN. How can he be so harsh? Why does he want me to believe he doesn't care about me? He shut me out immediately after I broke up with him and has refused to talk to me since.

I know the answers to these questions are "he was drunk," or "he's angry and sick." It's just hard to have to have these thoughts in my head. Sigh. Just something to talk to my therapist about tomorrow.

Thanks for reading. :-)

KeepPedaling

Why are you trying to talk to him at all if you broke up with him? I know it's really hard to let go, but it sounds like, even broken up, communicating with him is emotionally damaging for you (being woken up in the middle of the night, being told mean things, crying). I went through the same thing and finally had to block my xabf and go no contact. I'm healing and feeling better each day.

I think the "why" he does stuff question isn't really the point. It doesn't matter why he does stuff or why he wants you to believe stuff. The point is you not being hurt anymore and you being able to heal and you being healthy and happy.

It is hard to hear someone who was sweet and kind be so hateful and mean. It's hard to listen to. It's hard to watch. It's crippling really. I choose not to listen or watch anymore.

I'm sorry you're feeling bad. It's an awful thing to go through.

MsPINKAcres

((dallas))

hate that you are still hearing those hurtful words from him - sometimes it never stops -
in dealing with my ex AH - I finally had to block his number from my cell phone.

When you are ready this maybe something you might want to consider doing - It was hard for me to do - there was always that thought in the back of my mind about an emergency, something with our daughters or grandchildren, but I just put my trust in the God of my understanding and asked Him to make sure I knew what I needed to know without having contact with someone who would treat me with so much hate (no matter if it was the disease causing it)

I pray that you have a peaceful day - filled with Hope, Joy and Healthy Compassion!
HUGS (hope, unity, gratitude & serenity)
Rita

dallas3300

Thanks so much for your comments. I have tried blocking him, but unfortunately, we have different cell providers and I was told I could not block numbers.

MsPINKAcres

I would check again - in cases of abuse (and yes honey, this is ABUSE - emotional/verbal berating is ABUSE - I know i was in denial for over 16 yrs)

there might be a way - I was able to block the number on my actual cell phone, tho

I know each provider has different rules - these were AT&T & Sprint.

Another thing that I did until I could actually block the number (because it did take me a while before I could do it) was to change the ring tone to a really irritating ring - so I would know it was him and change his name to something that would remind me of whom I was dealing with (A girlfriend of mine changed her ex's name to "I stole money from you" - after 16 plus yrs of pretty much support my ex because of his drug addiction & inability to keep a job - he sued me for Spousal support - so I change his name to "Spousal Support" so I would remember that it was not the person I had once loved calling me - but the active disease of addiction calling to hurt me and steal my serenity)

So then when the phone rang - I took a few secs to apply some recovery tools to prepare myself for what I was about to face.

Progress not Perfection is all we can do - ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!!

KeepPedaling

I had to pay extra for the service. It's worth the $5 a month.