308win

Sitting in a hotel room drinking myself away, and I wonder why? Why do I drink and use? why do I have to always have something? and yet I sit here and wonder why my helth has royaly declined. Why do I continue? Part of me wants to quit but the other part always overwhelms me. I dont know what the F is wrong with me. I ask for help, then get mad. People try to help me all the time saying your only 20, only been drinking for the past 6 years everyday. I wish I could change, not have to drink in the mornings, not wake up wonder what I did and feel guilt. I hate this. I do anything to escape reality. I just like the ME when im drinking and some xanax, klonopins, etc... Typical bipolar I do not know. I dont even know what I am asking for anymore?? Like I said I ask for help try to use it, then just get upset. Thanks for any advice and sorry for wasting anyones time

humblestudent

You are not wasting anyone's time! We are here to help, and want to help. I think everyone on this board understands what you are going through. I was there - totally there.

I think the fact that you are questioning your drinking, understanding that it has a huge role in where you're at right now is very insightful on your part. It's hard to stop drinking without a plan to stay stopped. And it is very overwhelming. But, it's a great thing that you are 20 years old, because you can bounce back from this if you get help.

The first step would be to see a doctor, tell him/her what you are going through so that they can help you through detoxing. Detoxing on your own, going cold turkey, can be dangerous.

Please keep posting here. You are important. You matter. And we care.

coffeenut

Welcome!

CarolD

About 1/3 of my AA home group is Bi-Polar
they use various meds to balance out the condition.

All say thier meds are not effective if they add
alcohol to the mix.

So Yes...please do see your doctor
and begin to find a healthy sober future.

You are not wasteing anyones time
We understand because we were once you....

Luckyv2

Gezzz you sound like me except that I've been sober now for 6 months today, but even today I know the reason and I am sure that you know the reason also. You're more than likely a Alcoholic/Addict? If you can say that you are, and know in your heart that you are, than you have maybe a little Chance for a recovery. I only know that for myself I know that after the last one when I gave up over 25 months sober. Actually unless it got lost it should be here in my blogs.

I too have a lot of mental issues, Bi-Polar, Anxiety to the extreme, and PTSD and blah blah blah. But it isn't what we have, it is what we are willing to do since we know we have these issues are we willing to take the corrective course in action to get help. I have and God it is like...I can not be happy! WTF well somedays maybe but not always.

Anways off topic have a good one and think positive! I will for one more day

Anna

Yes, please do talk to your dr about the bipolar issue and medication. Many of us here have mental health issues to deal with, as well as addiction, so we do understand how hard it is. I think it is good that you are questioning why you are where you are and that you are seeking answers.

Please know that you deserve a good and healthy life.