tlc21

Hi again,
I know some of you followed my last thread about feeling depressed and so on after the breakup with my ex, and I can tell I got some help with that..
Anyway, I check this page once in a while even if some answers doesn't come as quickly as they should...

Once again, I try to deal with some emotions from the pass relationship with my ex and I feel really so bad, like a nervous wreck! I don't know what the hell to do.... I dealt with so many ****** things(problems) the time we were together, among others, a car accident, being co-dependent to him, his abusive use of meds and drugs and so on.. Going to buy alcohol in the middle of the night in a big city 5am...while one should be sleeping and so on.. So many things that I hope NOBODy who ever deals with an alocholic has to go threw...I just hope I didn't..
I don't know why I'm writing this, i just wish everything could be over, even if the relationship is, some scarves will be left with you to deal with..

I just wish that nobody has to go through what I went through..... I don't blame it on my ex, I could ave done better choices....but we can't tell the consequences of our actions before it's too late ore before we are done "with it" ore changed, ore are out of the situation.
I just wish I would ave listen to the 'signals' when they were there, instead of getting myself into a destructive, nervewrecking relationship which probaly didn't do any good to noone of us....

So here we are, I'm trying to deal with life but it feels just like ****..
don't know where to start.

So many ****** things that I had to deal with during our time together, a car accident when he was driving and smashing his car 120km/hour....among many other very stupid things...I'm just glad I'm alive but same time so many things he blaimed me for, when I didn't cause noone of it...I know it's not my fault and I'm not blaiming myself..
But now afterwards I just feel like ****...maybe not because the things but the whole situation while we were together and everything I had to go through (even If there were many good times and moments aswell).

Same time my father is being hospitalized and I ave no idea where to start or who to speak to....and I feel that he would be the only person to speak to(my ex), but he's the one blaiming me everything of whats going wrong in his life, and I 've enough of things to deal with...I don't need that ****...

Aaaahhhhh...thanks for ventileting , just need to 'clear my thoughts'....
don't know where to start......lol thanks for listening :ghug3

suki44883

(((tlc))) I'm sorry you're feeling so rotten. You're just processing, sweetie. We all do it. I don't know how long you've been away from your ex, but there comes a time, once we've gotten away from all that, when we start to process everything we've been through. The thing is, while we should process it, we can't allow ourselves to get stuck in the past. What's done is done, and you have moved forward, which is good. I know it sounds cliche to say it takes time, but it really does.

Have you considered seeing a therapist or counselor for awhile, just to help you sort through everything you're feeling? I know it helped me tremendously. Just a thought.

Jadmack25

Agree with Suki that going thru this sort of stuff with a therapist can be cleansing.

Hugs to you.

God bless