dedubya

Medium anxiety- at least in the morning- it peaks and valleys during the day so I stay REALLY busy. Yesterday went to a meeting, rode my bicycle 28 miles, rode my Harley all over the place, read some of a book, and took my dogs on a 2 hour walk. That's my strategy, and it seems to working at least for now. However I feel really weird, like last time, since I don't really crave a drink. Maybe too confident? I think meetings help with this a lot. I am planning to work the steps this time around, last time I just read them and thought I was following them- and after a few months sober, for some idiotic reason I caved to a few beers with friends and family 'just for one time'. I didnt stop afterwards and kept drinking a couple (really 2) per day whenever I wanted to. Well everyone here knows where that leads, sooner or later that monster that has you by the ear with 2 beers decides to take the entire head and brain with it- and it did.
Committed to not letting that happen again. Feeling a bit lethargic and anxious this morning so going to work out for a while then church, then my daily meeting, then take my dogs for a walk etc etc....plus I need to do bills which I Hate to do- not because I don't have the cash, I just freekin hate to open all of that mail and write checks for 3 hours or so...that's when I used to get hammered so I didnt hate it so much. This time I am going to have the attitude that at least I have a job for now, so I can pay my bills (not mention get all of my tax crap together- which I hate even more...
Oh well- I am sober and proud of that. Have a wonderful day
Peace and Love
Dub

NEOMARXIST

One day at a time Dub.

Thanks for the update!


peace and Love

intention

The physical craving for a drink goes quite quickly. But there are two parts to this disease, the physical craving and the obsession of the mind.

This was not because of some idiotic reason, it was because you have an obsession of the mind as far as alcohol is concerned.





Quitting drinking removes the physical craving for alcohol
Working the 12 Steps removes the mental obession for alcohol

I am really glad you are going to work the steps this time. We will look forward to hearing about your progress.

Enjoy your day, Dub.

Fandy

thanks for reminding me to call my accountant....I dropped my taxes off last Sunday, I completely forgot about it...hopefully they will be reading for signing and filing tomorrow.

if it's any consolation, I hate doing the bills too and all that mail...all that PAPER! i sit next to the shredder.

congrats. on Day #4...and staying busy means you must feel well.

Toronto68

Dedubya, I think I just heard about your Jeff Bridges movie on the CBS Sunday news. I don't think I ever saw that.

I like the sound of your mixing and matching of activities, it sounds like that is working for you, piling one day on top of the next.

I hate the things you mentioned too. Not alone in that one either, ha ha.

dedubya

Thanks everyone- much appreciated. Crazy Heart is a great movie- would recommend it, it definitely has a sobriety theme and was a positive experience for me.
Dub

fragrantrose

Dear Dub,
congratulations Dub! very inspiring!
Day 5 for me and have a day off should being doing some bookwork as well + review ongoing education but really cant get my head around it. Wish my enthusiasm for exercise would return as my anxiety manifests by procrastination. feel life will just pass me by unless i get a move on!
Forcing myself to meeting tonight DESPITE all the excuses that will come into my head.(not to as i am a very stubborn wilful creature) Am going to look out for a sponsor this time and like yourself, work the steps as JUST WANT TO GET OFF THIS MERRY GO AROUND even if it means losing most of my friends.
kind regards
Julia

fragrantrose

addit: still too wrecked after binge all i want to do for day is sit on couch and knit.Now, sweats and bad headache again .