letter to my alcoholic..you're like a drug
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: philadelphia
Posts: 5
letter to my alcoholic..you're like a drug
You’re like a drug that i can't get enough of…
i hate that….i don’t like thinking about you all the time…
we both have a disease….yours is alcoholism and mine is you..
The many nights spent trying to control you and trying to figure you out were a waste of my time and yours…i could have been doing many other fun, constructive things.
The lies… the manipulation and the abuse are over.
I spent too many years trying to make it better for you…at least i thought i was…now i see i should’ve let you go down your own path….i wanted it to be my will…not yours or god’s.
You're like a drug i can’t get enough of….
The highs and lows are the same as using…the euphoria and the dread…the chaos and the anxiety..it’s like being on a roller coaster…you never know what’s around the next curve.
Well now, i want off this ride..i want a life of peace, truth and happiness….
I don’t like what ive become with you…im worse than you…the craziness..the yelling...the nastiness coming from my mouth...i react like this b/c i don’t like feeling used, abused and unloved. The lies beat me down so much when all i wanted was for you to love me unconditionally and be honest with me , as im sure you wanted this from me. (and got most of the time)
but your disease of alcoholism got in the way.
We are both good people who can’t seem to be good together for some reason. I’m working to change but when you go and do something i don’t like… i go off on you. I’m working on that. I need to step up the al -anon meetings.
Both of us are new to recovery….but i want to know when does the pain stop and recovery start working? Aka no more lies, manipulation, and emotional abuse on your part?
You see the pain you cause me hurts a lot ……and the pain of hurting you is also too much…i do love you….and i hate when i say things i don’t mean…all because you won’t acknowledge me. You know that’s a trigger for me and i realize that also. But why do you keep doing it if you know it bothers me? Do you care? It seems
not because you keep doing it…i hate your disease of alcoholism.
I realize now i have to let you go and take back my life.
You see in order to save me…i have to cut you loose…. Because you are like a drug that i can’t get enough of.
i hate that….i don’t like thinking about you all the time…
we both have a disease….yours is alcoholism and mine is you..
The many nights spent trying to control you and trying to figure you out were a waste of my time and yours…i could have been doing many other fun, constructive things.
The lies… the manipulation and the abuse are over.
I spent too many years trying to make it better for you…at least i thought i was…now i see i should’ve let you go down your own path….i wanted it to be my will…not yours or god’s.
You're like a drug i can’t get enough of….
The highs and lows are the same as using…the euphoria and the dread…the chaos and the anxiety..it’s like being on a roller coaster…you never know what’s around the next curve.
Well now, i want off this ride..i want a life of peace, truth and happiness….
I don’t like what ive become with you…im worse than you…the craziness..the yelling...the nastiness coming from my mouth...i react like this b/c i don’t like feeling used, abused and unloved. The lies beat me down so much when all i wanted was for you to love me unconditionally and be honest with me , as im sure you wanted this from me. (and got most of the time)
but your disease of alcoholism got in the way.
We are both good people who can’t seem to be good together for some reason. I’m working to change but when you go and do something i don’t like… i go off on you. I’m working on that. I need to step up the al -anon meetings.
Both of us are new to recovery….but i want to know when does the pain stop and recovery start working? Aka no more lies, manipulation, and emotional abuse on your part?
You see the pain you cause me hurts a lot ……and the pain of hurting you is also too much…i do love you….and i hate when i say things i don’t mean…all because you won’t acknowledge me. You know that’s a trigger for me and i realize that also. But why do you keep doing it if you know it bothers me? Do you care? It seems
not because you keep doing it…i hate your disease of alcoholism.
I realize now i have to let you go and take back my life.
You see in order to save me…i have to cut you loose…. Because you are like a drug that i can’t get enough of.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 566
Oncloud,
I needed to read your powerful words today, I totally get it. Even though this process is unbelievably hard its good to know that there are so many of us who understand exactly what you're saying, and how it feels. We are not alone...
Thank you.
I needed to read your powerful words today, I totally get it. Even though this process is unbelievably hard its good to know that there are so many of us who understand exactly what you're saying, and how it feels. We are not alone...
Thank you.
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
WAY TO GO oncloud129!!!!
Keep going back to those meetings. Keep your head up and your eyes straight ahead. You feel the pain and feel the burning of those tears as you keep walking forward. Be proud of yourself for how much you have endured and for how far you have come. There is SO MUCH health and happiness ahead of you baby!!!! Good work!
Keep going back to those meetings. Keep your head up and your eyes straight ahead. You feel the pain and feel the burning of those tears as you keep walking forward. Be proud of yourself for how much you have endured and for how far you have come. There is SO MUCH health and happiness ahead of you baby!!!! Good work!
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