Dealing with family members---they mean well.
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: atlanta
Posts: 90
Dealing with family members---they mean well.
As I've posted before, my XRH and I are getting along really good right now, but there are no plans in place for him to move back in and for us to resume a committed relationship at this time. I'm not saying it wont ever happen but for now, I am content with my life and the role he is playing in it.
I met my parents for lunch today, and my dad mentioned that they stopped by last Sunday and I wasn't home but my car was. Of course my Dad "needs" to know where I was and who I was with. I told him that me and my son went to lunch with the X and shopping for a little bit. He was clearly upset with me. He told me not to make another mistake with the X.
I understand that they have been part of the fall out with my relationship with the X, but I am almost 42 years old. They were also very close to the X and were so disappointed after the last relapse and incarceration. Their suffering came from watching me suffer and struggle with all the X put me through and of course he has a habit of repeating the same mistakes more than once.
I know they mean well, but I dont know what I want right now and I cannot even verbalize it to them. I can honestly say that the X is acting "right" for the time being and I guess I'm taking advantage of that fact. He is caring and trying to help me and my son out as much as he can. I guess in my mind I am accepting the way he is making up for lost time.
My parents and my sisters really want me to cut bait and let this relationship die with the exception of co-parenting. Sometimes I think it would be best too but I guess I just cannot cut the ties yet.
As I told my sister, I dont know how to break someone's heart, only have had mine broken.....she said "Well, he's the one who broke his own heart". I guess in a way that would be true, but how does one do it when they are not in active addiction???
This is becoming harder than I thought it would be..
Gotta get to a meeting tonight!!!!!!!!
I met my parents for lunch today, and my dad mentioned that they stopped by last Sunday and I wasn't home but my car was. Of course my Dad "needs" to know where I was and who I was with. I told him that me and my son went to lunch with the X and shopping for a little bit. He was clearly upset with me. He told me not to make another mistake with the X.
I understand that they have been part of the fall out with my relationship with the X, but I am almost 42 years old. They were also very close to the X and were so disappointed after the last relapse and incarceration. Their suffering came from watching me suffer and struggle with all the X put me through and of course he has a habit of repeating the same mistakes more than once.
I know they mean well, but I dont know what I want right now and I cannot even verbalize it to them. I can honestly say that the X is acting "right" for the time being and I guess I'm taking advantage of that fact. He is caring and trying to help me and my son out as much as he can. I guess in my mind I am accepting the way he is making up for lost time.
My parents and my sisters really want me to cut bait and let this relationship die with the exception of co-parenting. Sometimes I think it would be best too but I guess I just cannot cut the ties yet.
As I told my sister, I dont know how to break someone's heart, only have had mine broken.....she said "Well, he's the one who broke his own heart". I guess in a way that would be true, but how does one do it when they are not in active addiction???
This is becoming harder than I thought it would be..
Gotta get to a meeting tonight!!!!!!!!
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
focus more on you. you deserve to not constantly having your heartbroken. you have to love yuurself first. i agree with your sister, his actions and conseqences are due to the decisions he made for himself, you've been going alone for the ride. time for you to decide what you want that would make your life better for you and your kids.
addiction is lifelong and so is recovery. relapse can happen at anytime, for any reason, without warning and last for any amount of time. the question is, how long are you willing to live with the uncertainties of addiction? just something to think about.
addiction is lifelong and so is recovery. relapse can happen at anytime, for any reason, without warning and last for any amount of time. the question is, how long are you willing to live with the uncertainties of addiction? just something to think about.
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