Sort of OT .. Why I have been absent
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Sort of OT .. Why I have been absent
Wasn't sure where to put this, but decided this forum was the best. I will apologize in advance that this may be long.
Some of you know, and some of you don't that I have been gone the last 3 weeks to Florida. Here's what happened. Bear with me, have to go back a way to explain.
Many, and I do mean MANY years ago, I had a 'first love.' We really thought that we would marry, have kids, live our lives together, etc. At first our parents were for our relationship. Then, something happened, we never did figure out what, maybe something to do with his dad and mine in business, but both sets of parents 'decided' we weren't 'good enough' for each other and they put a plan into action that somehow 'drove a wedge between us.' We never broke up, just 'drifted' apart.
We started dating in late May Early June of 1964 and 'drifted apart' in early 1966. In late '66 (just prior to my first marriage, I wasn't 100% sure you could say) I tried to call him. Finally called the family business and was told by his youngest brother that he (my love T) didn't want anything to do with me and I was to never call the plant again. I married Don. In the summer of '69 T called my folks house and got the same message from my mother and married his first wife.
When I got sober in '81 I started to try to find him again with no luck. In '83, my sister (the biotch) and her then husband ran into T in the Caymans, where he proceeded to give her his card, with ALL his contact info on it to give to me. SHE NEVER DID. (That in itself is a whole separate thread I need to do on RESENTMENT).
Now over the years, especially with the advent of the internet I CONTINUED TO try and find him ............................................. without success. By 2007 I had actually become OBSESSIVE about it and was driving myself insane. In Octobor of '07 I finally said ENOUGH. I had to accept I would NEVER find him or see him again, and that was that. It has been hard!!!! Especially, since after our drifting apart, in March of '66, I had a tattoo put on my upper right arm of a T and an L merged into one and it has been there ever since. Would not even consider having it removed all these years.
Never say never!!!!!
Fast forward to 1/07/10 at about 9:08am my time. Phone rang, didn't recognize the number but answered. All I can say is that it is a good thing that I have an "Executive Chair" with arms that I sit in when on my puter, or I would have fallen out of my chair. It was T.
44 YEARS LATER!
The main reason I was unable to find him is that he had been living 'out of country' the past 30+ years. We talked for an hour and a half and when we hung up I bawled like a baby.
Now if anybody wrote this in a novel, no one would believe it. I talked with Chy that day and several others as I was 'bouncing' off the walls, didn't know if I was coming or going, didn't know what to think was just all over the place. He called again that afternoon and we talked for another 5 hours.
From that day forward, we have been on the phone at least 8 or 9 hours every day until 2/10/07 when I flew to Florida to be with him. There were 2 weekends when he came here for short visits before that.
I was suppose to come home the 26th but extended my return until yesterday. And have to admit I did not want to come home. However, we both have some 'things' that we MUST do, so our 'relationship' is going to be a 'catch as catch can' for the next 2 to 3 months before we can have some extended time together again.
A little bit more about this ........................ both of my marriages were to men that in some ways were like T, had some of his characteristics and personalty, but, of course, were not him and I could not (big surprise) change them. lol Both of his marriages were to women that in some ways were like me, had come of my characteristics and personalty, but of course, were not me and he could not change them. lol
On top of that, while in Florida, we seemed to run into couples that had 'found' each other again after time spans of 35 to 45 years, roflmao
So, for right now, we are taking this as it comes. No majors changes in either of our lives, but definitely minor ones, so we can continue to pursue this and see where it leads us next.
On an additional note in conjunction with this, I now have 2.7 flying hours of instruction toward the 10 hours I need before I can solo. I have some studying to do so I can take the 'ground test' and then once I solo I will get my 'pilots license' for VFR (Visual Flight Rules) and can then move forward from there. I cannot express how FANTASTIC it is to be up in the sky, flying a plane, it is just INCREDIBLE!!!!!
I find out Friday the exact date that my Stomach Banding will be done, so I can finally get this damn diabetes in remission. That in turn will tell me how soon I can pursue Skeet Shooting (yep, I love it). Going to get a new 12 gauge shotgun in the next week or so, so that after the banding as soon as Dr says okay I can practice with my Son In Law and Granddaughter, lol
Now I think I will go back to bed for a bit, as I am still on East Coast time and need a few more 'winks' of sleep before I actually get out and about today.
More later.
Love and hugs,
Some of you know, and some of you don't that I have been gone the last 3 weeks to Florida. Here's what happened. Bear with me, have to go back a way to explain.
Many, and I do mean MANY years ago, I had a 'first love.' We really thought that we would marry, have kids, live our lives together, etc. At first our parents were for our relationship. Then, something happened, we never did figure out what, maybe something to do with his dad and mine in business, but both sets of parents 'decided' we weren't 'good enough' for each other and they put a plan into action that somehow 'drove a wedge between us.' We never broke up, just 'drifted' apart.
We started dating in late May Early June of 1964 and 'drifted apart' in early 1966. In late '66 (just prior to my first marriage, I wasn't 100% sure you could say) I tried to call him. Finally called the family business and was told by his youngest brother that he (my love T) didn't want anything to do with me and I was to never call the plant again. I married Don. In the summer of '69 T called my folks house and got the same message from my mother and married his first wife.
When I got sober in '81 I started to try to find him again with no luck. In '83, my sister (the biotch) and her then husband ran into T in the Caymans, where he proceeded to give her his card, with ALL his contact info on it to give to me. SHE NEVER DID. (That in itself is a whole separate thread I need to do on RESENTMENT).
Now over the years, especially with the advent of the internet I CONTINUED TO try and find him ............................................. without success. By 2007 I had actually become OBSESSIVE about it and was driving myself insane. In Octobor of '07 I finally said ENOUGH. I had to accept I would NEVER find him or see him again, and that was that. It has been hard!!!! Especially, since after our drifting apart, in March of '66, I had a tattoo put on my upper right arm of a T and an L merged into one and it has been there ever since. Would not even consider having it removed all these years.
Never say never!!!!!
Fast forward to 1/07/10 at about 9:08am my time. Phone rang, didn't recognize the number but answered. All I can say is that it is a good thing that I have an "Executive Chair" with arms that I sit in when on my puter, or I would have fallen out of my chair. It was T.
44 YEARS LATER!
The main reason I was unable to find him is that he had been living 'out of country' the past 30+ years. We talked for an hour and a half and when we hung up I bawled like a baby.
Now if anybody wrote this in a novel, no one would believe it. I talked with Chy that day and several others as I was 'bouncing' off the walls, didn't know if I was coming or going, didn't know what to think was just all over the place. He called again that afternoon and we talked for another 5 hours.
From that day forward, we have been on the phone at least 8 or 9 hours every day until 2/10/07 when I flew to Florida to be with him. There were 2 weekends when he came here for short visits before that.
I was suppose to come home the 26th but extended my return until yesterday. And have to admit I did not want to come home. However, we both have some 'things' that we MUST do, so our 'relationship' is going to be a 'catch as catch can' for the next 2 to 3 months before we can have some extended time together again.
A little bit more about this ........................ both of my marriages were to men that in some ways were like T, had some of his characteristics and personalty, but, of course, were not him and I could not (big surprise) change them. lol Both of his marriages were to women that in some ways were like me, had come of my characteristics and personalty, but of course, were not me and he could not change them. lol
On top of that, while in Florida, we seemed to run into couples that had 'found' each other again after time spans of 35 to 45 years, roflmao
So, for right now, we are taking this as it comes. No majors changes in either of our lives, but definitely minor ones, so we can continue to pursue this and see where it leads us next.
On an additional note in conjunction with this, I now have 2.7 flying hours of instruction toward the 10 hours I need before I can solo. I have some studying to do so I can take the 'ground test' and then once I solo I will get my 'pilots license' for VFR (Visual Flight Rules) and can then move forward from there. I cannot express how FANTASTIC it is to be up in the sky, flying a plane, it is just INCREDIBLE!!!!!
I find out Friday the exact date that my Stomach Banding will be done, so I can finally get this damn diabetes in remission. That in turn will tell me how soon I can pursue Skeet Shooting (yep, I love it). Going to get a new 12 gauge shotgun in the next week or so, so that after the banding as soon as Dr says okay I can practice with my Son In Law and Granddaughter, lol
Now I think I will go back to bed for a bit, as I am still on East Coast time and need a few more 'winks' of sleep before I actually get out and about today.
More later.
Love and hugs,
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Wow! to you and T!
HP moment here on SR. I had you on my mind yesterday. I had a moment of codie worry! But mostly just wondering how you are doing. And here you are this morning with an update on you....
Thank You for blowing my socks off this morning!
Where is that happy dance thingie....
HP moment here on SR. I had you on my mind yesterday. I had a moment of codie worry! But mostly just wondering how you are doing. And here you are this morning with an update on you....
Thank You for blowing my socks off this morning!
Where is that happy dance thingie....
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Reading some of the recent threads on here, I better 'expand' on the above.
First, NO T is not an alkie, he does have an occasional drink and that doesn't bother me.
Does he still have some faults? Of course he does, as do I. So far, nothing that cannot be worked around and/or tolerated. He can be very 'impatient' has been all his life, but does not get 'nasty' lol
This is going to be slow, very slow to see what happens.
The main things, our way of thinking things through, our morality code, etc are still as alike as they were. I guess with growth and age and experience comes some tolerance about certain things, as so far I see no 'big' hurdles, nor does he. Even his brother commented several times how much calmer T seems to be around me, lol
One thing I DON'T WANT is to 'control' him or him to try and 'control' me. Over the years I have NEVER seen that work in a relationship, ever. This has come from many years of working ON ME. I have my boundaries and I will stick with those boundaries.
As I said, we will see where this goes. For now though I INTEND TO HAVE A BALL!!!!!!
Love and hugs,
First, NO T is not an alkie, he does have an occasional drink and that doesn't bother me.
Does he still have some faults? Of course he does, as do I. So far, nothing that cannot be worked around and/or tolerated. He can be very 'impatient' has been all his life, but does not get 'nasty' lol
This is going to be slow, very slow to see what happens.
The main things, our way of thinking things through, our morality code, etc are still as alike as they were. I guess with growth and age and experience comes some tolerance about certain things, as so far I see no 'big' hurdles, nor does he. Even his brother commented several times how much calmer T seems to be around me, lol
One thing I DON'T WANT is to 'control' him or him to try and 'control' me. Over the years I have NEVER seen that work in a relationship, ever. This has come from many years of working ON ME. I have my boundaries and I will stick with those boundaries.
As I said, we will see where this goes. For now though I INTEND TO HAVE A BALL!!!!!!
Love and hugs,
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,902
Oh Laurie! I am so happy and excited for you! You have been such an inspiration to me here on SR. I'm so glad to hear you have reconnected with someone you care for so much. I wish for you every good thing! 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
What a WOW surprise for you this has been. After so many years, my goodness it gives me goosebumps.
I wish you all that is good, happy and wonderful for you both, as you catch up with those years apart.
God bless
I wish you all that is good, happy and wonderful for you both, as you catch up with those years apart.
God bless
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Laurie)) though you had told me of some of this, just wanted you to know that I, too, am doing the happy dance for you!
BTW, my friend/former supervisor who found HIS highschool sweetheart on FB after 30+ years is happily married to her...I think some things were just meant to be.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
BTW, my friend/former supervisor who found HIS highschool sweetheart on FB after 30+ years is happily married to her...I think some things were just meant to be.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Call Speilberg, sell your story and buy an island!!
But thanks for the suggestion.
Love and hugs,
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