Letting go is a process, one step at a time
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 594
Letting go is a process, one step at a time
I deleted his calendar today. We shared our calendars online. I unsubscribed today.
I feel like I was his sad little puppet and I'm reaching up and snipping the strings one at a time. Each one makes me slump down for a time, but when I learn how to hold that part of me up on my own, I reach up and snip another string.
I know I'll be holding myself up all on my own soon. It's hard going through this.
Right now I'm a brave little pissed off half-puppet. I can't wait to be a happy little string-free ex-puppet.
I feel like I was his sad little puppet and I'm reaching up and snipping the strings one at a time. Each one makes me slump down for a time, but when I learn how to hold that part of me up on my own, I reach up and snip another string.
I know I'll be holding myself up all on my own soon. It's hard going through this.
Right now I'm a brave little pissed off half-puppet. I can't wait to be a happy little string-free ex-puppet.
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
I think the phrasing I am thinking of when I read your post is the longest journey begins with one step.
having said that, just sent my warm wishes and encouragement to you as you take those small steps. have done this before - understand how hard it is even when it is the best.
having said that, just sent my warm wishes and encouragement to you as you take those small steps. have done this before - understand how hard it is even when it is the best.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
You are doing so well.
You know, I suddenly had a puppet image come into my mind that I had never considered before. I saw a woman puppet, with strings held by a man puppet, whose strings went up into clouds.
Have thought about it, and I guess our A's are really as much manipulated by strings of addiction, as we have been, or still may be by the A's.
Does this make sense for anyone?
God bless
You know, I suddenly had a puppet image come into my mind that I had never considered before. I saw a woman puppet, with strings held by a man puppet, whose strings went up into clouds.
Have thought about it, and I guess our A's are really as much manipulated by strings of addiction, as we have been, or still may be by the A's.
Does this make sense for anyone?
God bless
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: rural west
Posts: 1,375
jadmack - totally!
keep pedaling- what a wonderful image...I mean...sad, but such a great analogy!
I recently had the analogy that all my life I was being dragged in the net of a trawler ship.
I never even knew I was in the net.
Sometimes the ship went into the arctic and it was freezing, but I stayed in the net.
Sometimes the ship went into very dark, deep places where I was afraid, but I stayed in my net, unhappily wondering why it was so cold or dark in my life.
As I went along in life, I finally realized I could pick a partner to captain my ship.
I started to pick better partners - ones that would go to the seas I liked.
Ones that had a lot of good qualities I admired.
But I was still in the net.
Sometimes, I would even get out and help be an assistant on board, and then go back to my net.
Eventually, I helped on board ship all the time.
Now, I am at the point where I am realizing I can captain my own ship. I can be all those qualities I was looking for in my partner-captains: courageous, decisive, bold, fearless, thoughtful, wise, thorough...
I can have a partnership with a captain of another ship!
We can sail our ships on the same path, if we choose.
Heck! I can get off the ship and live on land!
I love the image from scifi (or politics!) when the heroes go to meet the people of the new planet, they go to the leader where they sit down together, both with great respect for themselves and the other strong leader, and they discuss as equals. That's the captain I want to be - with great respect for myself and others.
Perhaps the true next step is to turn the ship over to the HP to captain FOR me...or co-captain; I don't know.
But it feels good to begin to think about being the captain of my ship/pulling my own strings. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of responsibility. I see why I rested in that net for so long. It's easier, in a way, down there in the dark/getting my strings pulled around.
But now, I get to go anywhere I want if I captain my own ship!
The Carribean, anyone?
I can let anyone on or off that I choose.
I can sail beside another ship, or not.
My choice.
Didn't mean to co-opt the thread; I was inspired by it.
Thanks for the wonderful analogy!
w
keep pedaling- what a wonderful image...I mean...sad, but such a great analogy!
I recently had the analogy that all my life I was being dragged in the net of a trawler ship.
I never even knew I was in the net.
Sometimes the ship went into the arctic and it was freezing, but I stayed in the net.
Sometimes the ship went into very dark, deep places where I was afraid, but I stayed in my net, unhappily wondering why it was so cold or dark in my life.
As I went along in life, I finally realized I could pick a partner to captain my ship.
I started to pick better partners - ones that would go to the seas I liked.
Ones that had a lot of good qualities I admired.
But I was still in the net.
Sometimes, I would even get out and help be an assistant on board, and then go back to my net.
Eventually, I helped on board ship all the time.
Now, I am at the point where I am realizing I can captain my own ship. I can be all those qualities I was looking for in my partner-captains: courageous, decisive, bold, fearless, thoughtful, wise, thorough...
I can have a partnership with a captain of another ship!
We can sail our ships on the same path, if we choose.
Heck! I can get off the ship and live on land!
I love the image from scifi (or politics!) when the heroes go to meet the people of the new planet, they go to the leader where they sit down together, both with great respect for themselves and the other strong leader, and they discuss as equals. That's the captain I want to be - with great respect for myself and others.
Perhaps the true next step is to turn the ship over to the HP to captain FOR me...or co-captain; I don't know.
But it feels good to begin to think about being the captain of my ship/pulling my own strings. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of responsibility. I see why I rested in that net for so long. It's easier, in a way, down there in the dark/getting my strings pulled around.
But now, I get to go anywhere I want if I captain my own ship!
The Carribean, anyone?
I can let anyone on or off that I choose.
I can sail beside another ship, or not.
My choice.
Didn't mean to co-opt the thread; I was inspired by it.
Thanks for the wonderful analogy!
w
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 394
I think I have to be thankful as I was able to snip all those strings at once. Clean break, with the garden sheers, so as I made sure I didn't miss a string. Still hurts, like a band-aid being ripped off all at once, but my recovery came a lot quickly than if I were to slowly 'peel' the band-aid off.
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