Learn2Live4Me

Hi everyone,

I stumbled upon this site last night & after reading the Personal Bill of Rights (awesome, by the way) and some other postings, I decided to join. I can not express in words the relief I feel to know that I am not alone in this. I have been yelling (both on the inside and out) for years for help. Both my parents are alcoholics. My father passed away in 2003 from Congestive Heart Failure. Since then, I believe (don't know for certain, other than her pattern of behavior has escalated) my mother's drinking has increased considerably. She has health problems of her own, and the drinking makes everything worse. It recently came to a head last weekend when she fell and broke her shoulder. She was hospitalized, and I explained to the staff that she was an alcoholic, much to her agitation. She then started experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms, so the doctors decided to keep her. I've never seen this side of alcohol abuse and it freaks me out. Reading everything last night gave me such a sense of calm & peace that I was finally able to sleep soundly for the first time in days. I have no idea how this is going to turn out, but I do know that I can only control my choices, not hers. I also finally feel released from her grip of manipulation and guilt - thanks to GingerM's post, I think I'm at that "tipping point", which means it will get worse before it gets better, but at least I have this forum to turn to for guidance and support. I genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all for that.

I look forward to reading & absorbing as much insight, guidance and support as I can & hopefully providing a shoulder for whoever needs it.

NewBeginnings1598

Welcome Learn2Live4Me. I love your name by the way. It is very empowering.

I am sorry you are going through this but I am very glad you found this site. There are a lot of people here who can help you and give you wonderful advise on how to help yourself. I am still new to recovery so I do not have a lot if insight yet but I will tell you that the decision to let go and get help for ourselves has been very empowering for me and I know it will be for you as well.

Learn2Live4Me

Ami, thanks for the compliment on my name & the warm welcome! I wanted to create something that made me feel better about this journey and that seemed to fit. Glad to hear that it is empowering to someone else

I've been dealing with this for several years (well over 20 now) but wouldn't say that I was in recovery until just recently. I think I was on the path but just didn't realize it - or even realize that there was such great support out there!

I look forward to us both recovering, learning & healing. It might not be easy at times, but it WILL be worth it.

NewBeginnings1598

You are right. It will be worth it. I have been dealing with this for 15 years. My AM is in rehab now but only because we have refused to pick her up. It's hard to stand back and watch them do something so destructive to theirselves. We are powerless to do anything and it is out of our control. That is why I finally decided to get help for myself. I just started Al Anon last week and started reading Codependent No More this weekend. I want to help the only person I can and that is ME. I do want to tell you that even just that one meeting of Al Anon was very good for me. I will go every week now. Do you have meetings near you? I think you would enjoy them as well because they focus on you, not the A. That was the best part of the meeting. Talking about how it affects us and taking the time to talk to people who know what you are going through is empowering. Empowering is my favorite word lately because for the first time, I feel hopeful that no matter what happens, I will be ok.

We will complete this journey for ourselves. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Things will be tough but just know that you have a whole world of people that are willing to help and stand behind you.

Lenore

Welcome Learn2Live4Me!

I understand just how you felt at finding this site. The first time I heard the term ACOA it was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders to know that I wasn't alone.:ghug3

TheGirlInside

Glad you found this site! the people here are the most understanding folks, and compassionate...when you cannot talk to anyone else, this is the place you can speak freely.

Learn2Live4Me

I am thankful for the warm welcomes (not sure that's proper English, but whatever!)...I've had some setbacks recently & just haven't posted a thread. I need to, because I really could use some outside advice. Is part of recovery taking ten steps forward & two steps back? Because that is what I feel like I'm doing right now & it just makes me want to cry.

NewBeginnings1598

Hi Learn2Live4Me. I am now NewBeginnings1598, formerly Amiwrong. (Don't you love the new name???)

I am sorry you are having such a tough time. I will send prayers and hugs your way.

I think that we are only just beginning our recovery and no one ever does things perfect the first time. I know people in my Al Anon group and people here on SR that have been recovering for years, but do make the occasional mistake.

I think you have to take time and patience with yourself and focus on your accomplishments. It is good to see your mistakes so you can learn from them, but don't let them destroy all the accomplishments you have made. After all, recovery is about finding the good in ourselves and you have to see the positive to be able to do that.