It gets better
mergirl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
It gets better
I popped in to check on everyone today, and your posts took me right back. I ache for those of you still in your defunct relationships. I was with my A for over 10 years before I left, and then I spent another few years going back trying again. My (ex) is currently dry for a few weeks, miserable, and will not consider a recovery program.
I, on the other hand, love the 12 steps. I am dating another alcoholic, with a twist. This one happens to be 24 years sober, and is a kind, gentle, highly spiritual man. It took me 14 months of my own recovery before I entertained the idea of being ready to date, and I know I still have a lot of work to do and we are taking things slooooow.
Today, besides being courted, I am actively pursuing recovery from codependency and my own isms. I have a wonderful job, lots of friends within the local recovery community, and I live in paradise.
No longer will I sneak into bed, hoping the person on the other side wont wake. I do not have arguments that are forgotten by the other party the next day. My house does not smell like a distillery, and neither does the guy I cuddle with.
It was hard for me to realize that it was my sickness I needed to address, and that I could do nothing about his. It still makes me sad to see him suffer, but I am less crazy now that I know I can do nothing to change his path.
I encourage all of you to seek your own recovery. Only by addressing the things in myself that allowed me to accept such a deplorable living situation was I able to start participating in a different, and in my opinion, healthier, happier, more spiritually fit life.
I, on the other hand, love the 12 steps. I am dating another alcoholic, with a twist. This one happens to be 24 years sober, and is a kind, gentle, highly spiritual man. It took me 14 months of my own recovery before I entertained the idea of being ready to date, and I know I still have a lot of work to do and we are taking things slooooow.
Today, besides being courted, I am actively pursuing recovery from codependency and my own isms. I have a wonderful job, lots of friends within the local recovery community, and I live in paradise.
No longer will I sneak into bed, hoping the person on the other side wont wake. I do not have arguments that are forgotten by the other party the next day. My house does not smell like a distillery, and neither does the guy I cuddle with.
It was hard for me to realize that it was my sickness I needed to address, and that I could do nothing about his. It still makes me sad to see him suffer, but I am less crazy now that I know I can do nothing to change his path.
I encourage all of you to seek your own recovery. Only by addressing the things in myself that allowed me to accept such a deplorable living situation was I able to start participating in a different, and in my opinion, healthier, happier, more spiritually fit life.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: UK and Australia
Posts: 447
Thanks for that wonderful post full of hope for those of us struggling.
And Gold thats great too! I too am excited about the future!.....I am taking small steps everyday but I feel really great in myself!.....I have re joined weight watchers and am losing a few pounds (slowly but surely).....I am exercising three times a week on my treadmill and am loving it!! I am making plans to go out with my girlfriends - theatre ovies, coffee whatever and I am enjoying spending time with my three beautful children who bring me more and more joy each and every day.
Take care all it is a very difficult journey! Thank God for SR Phiz
And Gold thats great too! I too am excited about the future!.....I am taking small steps everyday but I feel really great in myself!.....I have re joined weight watchers and am losing a few pounds (slowly but surely).....I am exercising three times a week on my treadmill and am loving it!! I am making plans to go out with my girlfriends - theatre ovies, coffee whatever and I am enjoying spending time with my three beautful children who bring me more and more joy each and every day.
Take care all it is a very difficult journey! Thank God for SR Phiz
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Bless you Gypsy for another great sign that there is gold at the end of the rainbow.
Someone posted a while back, asking if there were ANY stories of SUCCESS, and I guess it does often look like this forum is full of tales of sorrow and asking for help. Thank God for those of you who come back to light the lamps for others here, so they may find the way to a better life.
God bless
Someone posted a while back, asking if there were ANY stories of SUCCESS, and I guess it does often look like this forum is full of tales of sorrow and asking for help. Thank God for those of you who come back to light the lamps for others here, so they may find the way to a better life.
God bless
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