active vs in recovery?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 174
active vs in recovery?
So, I am with my Afiance (planning on leaving...someday...but with 2 kids its been hard_ and we went through the whole me confronting him on his drinking so as far as I have known he has been dry for 2 weeks. Since he is not in any programs like AA or therapy and refuses treatment would that be considered an "active" alcoholic or an alcoholic in recovery? Or do I just refer to him as a "dry drunk"?
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
He is sober.
I think the proper lingo used on the forum for a person still drinking on a regular basis is: Active Alcoholic
Sober means no longer drinking.
RA is Recovering Alcoholic which means the alcoholic is doing some type of recovery work, be it group support, private counseling or self-help - all with a focus on learning new life skills.
Dry Drunk means sober without recovery work, but still manipulating, denying, blame-shifting, lying, outburst of anger, short tempered; basically all the alcoholic behavior without alcohol.
I think the proper lingo used on the forum for a person still drinking on a regular basis is: Active Alcoholic
Sober means no longer drinking.
RA is Recovering Alcoholic which means the alcoholic is doing some type of recovery work, be it group support, private counseling or self-help - all with a focus on learning new life skills.
Dry Drunk means sober without recovery work, but still manipulating, denying, blame-shifting, lying, outburst of anger, short tempered; basically all the alcoholic behavior without alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hello there LS2, and pleased to "meet" you 
It doesn't really matter. You've used "Afiance", and that explains it quite clearly. Whether he's in a program or therapy or detox or active or recovering or any of that is not the point.
The point is how his _behavior_ is affecting your life, and what you intend to do about that behavior in order to protect yourself and your children.
If you want to have a little fun with it, I've heard some interesting descriptions of partners
LOC = Lump On Couch
40B = 40 yr old Baby
GBH = Garage Beer Hider
My fav is from a friend of mine back in L.A., refering to his wife. It fits my ex perfectly as she was seeing 3 other married guys (that I know of) :
RAH = Run Around Chick
So call him whatever you want, we'll understand
Mike
Originally Posted by LS2 
So, I am with my Afiance.... Since he is not in any programs like AA or therapy and refuses treatment would that be considered an "active" alcoholic or an alcoholic in recovery? Or do I just refer to him as a "dry drunk"?
The point is how his _behavior_ is affecting your life, and what you intend to do about that behavior in order to protect yourself and your children.
If you want to have a little fun with it, I've heard some interesting descriptions of partners
LOC = Lump On Couch
40B = 40 yr old Baby
GBH = Garage Beer Hider
My fav is from a friend of mine back in L.A., refering to his wife. It fits my ex perfectly as she was seeing 3 other married guys (that I know of) :
RAH = Run Around Chick
So call him whatever you want, we'll understand
Mike
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