Another One Lost the Fight
Being Silent so I can Hear
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
Another One Lost the Fight
She was 38.
You know how when you try to touch two magnets together on a certain side, no matter how hard you try you can't even get them to touch? The reality of alcoholism reminds me of that. It can be right there, in your face, and yet...truth squirms out of the way, and you can't quite pin it down.
I don't know if we want to believe the lies or not. Or if it's just that the alcoholic weaves such a confusing web of deception and lies that we simply can't tell what's truth and what isn't. They LIVE it, every day, every hour. They're on stage 24/7 in a drama of delusions. It's no wonder we question what's right in front of us.
Anyway. I wasn't close to her, so that made it easier for me to see clearly what was going on maybe.
I was told she was bulimic. That's what she, reluctantly, told those who were concerned about her. It explained the weight loss, and the vomiting. And the weakness and confusion.
Right up until the end, there was that question: "Maybe the bulimia caused this?". No, it doesn't cause liver failure.
So, she passed away this morning. I pray that she's at peace, finally. A life time of hiding must be a living hell, I can't imagine. I don't want to imagine.
But the aftermath is, as you know, bad. Her father (it is his birthday today), and her brother. Devastated. Angry. Bewildered. The if only's and the I could have's...
Today, while getting her things together, they found the empty bottles in her closet. No doubt they'll find more. Kind of puts an end to the question about what caused it.
I found out today, her Mother died of alcoholism at 39. Her Dad saw it, lived it. Denial is just as baffling as alcoholism.
Her struggle is over.
You know how when you try to touch two magnets together on a certain side, no matter how hard you try you can't even get them to touch? The reality of alcoholism reminds me of that. It can be right there, in your face, and yet...truth squirms out of the way, and you can't quite pin it down.
I don't know if we want to believe the lies or not. Or if it's just that the alcoholic weaves such a confusing web of deception and lies that we simply can't tell what's truth and what isn't. They LIVE it, every day, every hour. They're on stage 24/7 in a drama of delusions. It's no wonder we question what's right in front of us.
Anyway. I wasn't close to her, so that made it easier for me to see clearly what was going on maybe.
I was told she was bulimic. That's what she, reluctantly, told those who were concerned about her. It explained the weight loss, and the vomiting. And the weakness and confusion.
Right up until the end, there was that question: "Maybe the bulimia caused this?". No, it doesn't cause liver failure.
So, she passed away this morning. I pray that she's at peace, finally. A life time of hiding must be a living hell, I can't imagine. I don't want to imagine.
But the aftermath is, as you know, bad. Her father (it is his birthday today), and her brother. Devastated. Angry. Bewildered. The if only's and the I could have's...
Today, while getting her things together, they found the empty bottles in her closet. No doubt they'll find more. Kind of puts an end to the question about what caused it.
I found out today, her Mother died of alcoholism at 39. Her Dad saw it, lived it. Denial is just as baffling as alcoholism.
Her struggle is over.
My prayers are with you and her family.
Being Silent so I can Hear
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
Originally Posted by Ann 
Offering my prayers too, for this lady and all who loved her.
It's just heartbreaking that someone dies needlessly at such a young age.
It's just heartbreaking that someone dies needlessly at such a young age.
The what if's.
What if someone had staged an intervention? What if her Dad had told her about her Mom?
Futile to even think about, I know.
Being Silent so I can Hear
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
Just a quick update: The viewing is today, funeral tomorrow. The obit came out, and it's...so very sad.
Apparently she moved in with her father to take care of him, not because she was unable to work due to her drinking. Denial is...so baffling. In the mean time, more and more empty bottles of wine are surfacing in the house.
This just all shows me that what AA (and Al-anon) are is a program of honesty. You cannot begin to heal, to move forward, to become all you can be...if you don't start with honesty.
Apparently she moved in with her father to take care of him, not because she was unable to work due to her drinking. Denial is...so baffling. In the mean time, more and more empty bottles of wine are surfacing in the house.
This just all shows me that what AA (and Al-anon) are is a program of honesty. You cannot begin to heal, to move forward, to become all you can be...if you don't start with honesty.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
We are all with you in spirit, SW.
I agree if you don't have honesty you have nothing at all.
How many other similar or worse stories are out there? how incredibly painful for everybody.
I am glad we got each other here and in the rooms.
I agree if you don't have honesty you have nothing at all.
How many other similar or worse stories are out there? how incredibly painful for everybody.
I am glad we got each other here and in the rooms.
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