spinner

I hadn't seen my ex AB in 2 or 3 weeks after I refused his invitation to cook me supper. His home and cell phone had been disconnected for non payment and he did not contact me.

Today he appeared at my door unannounced. He was here to show me that he was going to pay me back some of the money he owes me, an amount that we agreed on a few weeks ago. I was impressed that he is actually going to pay me. I guess threatening to take him to court did it. Anyway, he is going to give me some grocery store gift cards from his air miles. It works for me.

I asked him how skiing was going (he teaches at a local ski hill on Sundays) and he said that one of his friends there was going to set him up on a date with another friend. My immediate reaction was "Oh, thank goodness. He will stop bugging me for sex all the time".

After he left I started getting sad. I was trying to get rid of him but I am still sad at the loss of what might have been. Thinking back to when we first met and were getting to know each other. I guess this is part of the grieving process.

I can't say that I wish I never met him. He pulled me out of the small world that anxiety had limited me to, introduced me to some wonderful music friends and taught me more than I ever wanted to know about alcoholism, codependency and emotional abuse.

Still I am sad today. I guess I am just getting ready to move on and trying to look forward.

Spinner

KeepPedaling

I'm going through the same thing right now Spinner. It's really hard and really sad. I know we're doing the right thing though. There's a better, calmer, happier life waiting...just gotta do a liiiiiittle more trudging through the muck.

Hope you have a great weekend.

Gold

Its okay to feel sad. Thats just part of the process.
Can you identify what the sadness is?

For me I thought it was loss of the relationship but ultimately I realised it was loss of the dream of ther elationship I wanted or thought we had.

Any emotion is okay as long as we dont get stuck there
Hugs

spinner

Feeling sad for the fleeting glimpse of what I thought might come true - a life with a husband and family (his kids). Something I thought I would never have. However, I learned that he was not the one to make my dream come true. Funny thing is, I never knew I missed that dream until it seemed to be within my reach. Now that it's gone I really want it.

I just have to meet someone else. All the good ones seem to be married though.

Spinner

spinner

My life is already calmer and happier without him. I am back to PLANNING things and having goals. I never could with him because part of my plans always depended on him and he was not dependable.

I have been de-junkifiying my house this weekend. It's a great feeling to get rid of stuff I no longer need. Kind of symbolic. I'm now off to donate things to the charity store.

Spinner