the house I just moved into is being foreclosed
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
the house I just moved into is being foreclosed
My landlord just called me. She said, well it looks like we're going to lose that house.
I lost my marital home to foreclosure after AH drank the money away and I was so traumatized by his ongoing affair. Moved out last september. The bank took it December.
Now this. I really can't ******* believe it. She said worst case scenario I will have two months. Best case, up to a year. Either way I'm done paying rent to her and can save up money, but I don't want to move my kids again!
I'm just stunned. All the feelings of being a bad parent bad person are coming back. I have to move my kids again! How do I tell them that? I love this neighborhood! They love this neighborhood. Our friends are nearby. I really can't believe it.
When I'm recovered I'll call her back and get the details again. There's no way I can buy it, not with my credit after the foreclosure.
I lost my marital home to foreclosure after AH drank the money away and I was so traumatized by his ongoing affair. Moved out last september. The bank took it December.
Now this. I really can't ******* believe it. She said worst case scenario I will have two months. Best case, up to a year. Either way I'm done paying rent to her and can save up money, but I don't want to move my kids again!
I'm just stunned. All the feelings of being a bad parent bad person are coming back. I have to move my kids again! How do I tell them that? I love this neighborhood! They love this neighborhood. Our friends are nearby. I really can't believe it.
When I'm recovered I'll call her back and get the details again. There's no way I can buy it, not with my credit after the foreclosure.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 594
Oh my gosh, I'm so so sorry! That's horrible. I had to move so many times the last 5 years. I absolutely hated it.
I'm really a believer in everything happens for a reason though. You might find a better place in the neighborhood or even find a better neighborhood.
And theres no way you're a bad parent when your first thought is about your kids! I'm sorry you're going through this and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that you find an even better place soon. I'm sure it will work out.
I'm really a believer in everything happens for a reason though. You might find a better place in the neighborhood or even find a better neighborhood.
And theres no way you're a bad parent when your first thought is about your kids! I'm sorry you're going through this and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that you find an even better place soon. I'm sure it will work out.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Transform)) - check the laws - there have been a lot of laws passed that go FOR the renter, meaning you can't be evicted just because the landlord is foreclosed on. Often, the bank, or whoever takes over, has to honor your lease. I doubt you'll be able to RENEW your lease, but find out your legal rights. I just read an article, the other day, about all the people who didn't know better and just moved out....not knowing they didn't have to. This was nationwide, from what I read..not something the banks/mortgage companies are going to be forthcoming about voluntarily.
I'm sorry this is happening, but it looks like someone is looking out for the renters.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm sorry this is happening, but it looks like someone is looking out for the renters.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
I'm so sorry Transform!
I agree with the adivise our friends have already shared: look for the message from HP and look into the legal rights of renters during foreclosure.
When our family home was auctioned off last year, there was a notice placed on the front door. The notice was for anyone renting that property. It stated they were still allowed to stay in the property. Then a contact number was listed.
Remember your recovery tools during this time. You don't have to react impulsively to this news. You can take deep breaths, meditate and work on a healthy response to this latest adventure.
Embrace uncertainty.
(((Hugs for Today)))
I agree with the adivise our friends have already shared: look for the message from HP and look into the legal rights of renters during foreclosure.
When our family home was auctioned off last year, there was a notice placed on the front door. The notice was for anyone renting that property. It stated they were still allowed to stay in the property. Then a contact number was listed.
Remember your recovery tools during this time. You don't have to react impulsively to this news. You can take deep breaths, meditate and work on a healthy response to this latest adventure.
Embrace uncertainty.
(((Hugs for Today)))
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Remember your recovery tools during this time. You don't have to react impulsively to this news. You can take deep breaths, meditate and work on a healthy response to this latest adventure.
Thanks Pelican! This is something I need to remember every day for life's little adventures. We all have them, right?
Transform, I agree with the other replies, you have rights as a renter in a foreclosure situation. Getting some info on this will go a long way to easing the worry about what to do next.
Alice
Alice
Thanks Pelican! This is something I need to remember every day for life's little adventures. We all have them, right?
Transform, I agree with the other replies, you have rights as a renter in a foreclosure situation. Getting some info on this will go a long way to easing the worry about what to do next.
Alice
Alice
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Thank you everyone, thank you Pelican.
I woke up with that crushing feeling on my chest, haven't had that since I left AH. I cant' slip into victim, powerless, why me? mode! I can't!
I'm all over the map today. Even thought some crazy sh1t like, "oh, i'll just move back in with AH." which has got to be the craziest thing I could ever think in my despair soaked brain.
But I don't have to have the answers right now. And I can work on a healthy response to this latest adventure. I just wish it didn't involve such great instability. I mean, I just moved my kids from their home. Now this?
My fantasy, and I should envision this and make it happen, is buying this house. Or at least staying here. Somehow.
I"m going to turn off my phone and computer and hang out with the kids. They've got this last week off, going back Monday. time to go sledding I guess...
I woke up with that crushing feeling on my chest, haven't had that since I left AH. I cant' slip into victim, powerless, why me? mode! I can't!
I'm all over the map today. Even thought some crazy sh1t like, "oh, i'll just move back in with AH." which has got to be the craziest thing I could ever think in my despair soaked brain.
But I don't have to have the answers right now. And I can work on a healthy response to this latest adventure. I just wish it didn't involve such great instability. I mean, I just moved my kids from their home. Now this?
My fantasy, and I should envision this and make it happen, is buying this house. Or at least staying here. Somehow.
I"m going to turn off my phone and computer and hang out with the kids. They've got this last week off, going back Monday. time to go sledding I guess...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
You absolutely will be okay, and so will your kids.
You did not do this. Guilt has no place here, and makes no sense, so into the compost pile with it.
When I get whacked, I'll often go into "one hour mode." For me, when something similar happened to me a couple of years ago, I tried this, and it worked:
1) One hour of rooting in the forever. Connecting with family, playing, finding something to laugh about, noticing the things that matter in the big scheme of things.
2) One hour of sitting with the now. In your case, it would be researching the rights you have, so you know how much time you have to find a better solution.
3) One hour of solutions. You live in neighborhood, not in a house in the middle of a thousand acres of desert. There's no reason why you'd have to leave where you are just because this one house becomes unavailable to you. Research other properties on realtor.com in your zip code, look at back classifieds for other rentals.
You don't have to do this all in one block. Perhaps just one hour per day.
My friend Christina taught me the three breaths rule:
Take three deep breaths: one to let go, one to be here, one to ask, "what's next?"
It works for me on almost every level in life.
You will be okay, and so will your kids.
You did not do this. Guilt has no place here, and makes no sense, so into the compost pile with it.
When I get whacked, I'll often go into "one hour mode." For me, when something similar happened to me a couple of years ago, I tried this, and it worked:
1) One hour of rooting in the forever. Connecting with family, playing, finding something to laugh about, noticing the things that matter in the big scheme of things.
2) One hour of sitting with the now. In your case, it would be researching the rights you have, so you know how much time you have to find a better solution.
3) One hour of solutions. You live in neighborhood, not in a house in the middle of a thousand acres of desert. There's no reason why you'd have to leave where you are just because this one house becomes unavailable to you. Research other properties on realtor.com in your zip code, look at back classifieds for other rentals.
You don't have to do this all in one block. Perhaps just one hour per day.
My friend Christina taught me the three breaths rule:
Take three deep breaths: one to let go, one to be here, one to ask, "what's next?"
It works for me on almost every level in life.
You will be okay, and so will your kids.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
woke up with that crushing feeling on my chest, haven't had that since I left AH. I cant' slip into victim, powerless, why me? mode! I can't!
I'm all over the map today. Even thought some crazy sh1t like, "oh, i'll just move back in with AH." which has got to be the craziest thing I could ever think in my despair soaked brain.
Awesome! Your recovery is showing. You recognize your feelings and are allowing yourself to experience them. Good on you!
LTD is right - you will be okay.
I'm all over the map today. Even thought some crazy sh1t like, "oh, i'll just move back in with AH." which has got to be the craziest thing I could ever think in my despair soaked brain.
Awesome! Your recovery is showing. You recognize your feelings and are allowing yourself to experience them. Good on you!
LTD is right - you will be okay.
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Hey girl,
Renting a home that is going through foreclosure? If so, don't be fooled: Lenders can't kick you out; they have to honor the terms of your lease.
Of course, that doesn't mean that some lenders' representatives aren't trying to scare people away.
this is from article at:
Evicting tenants from foreclosed homes - Feb. 18, 2010
Love ya'. Try to have a good weekend. :day6
Renting a home that is going through foreclosure? If so, don't be fooled: Lenders can't kick you out; they have to honor the terms of your lease.
Of course, that doesn't mean that some lenders' representatives aren't trying to scare people away.
this is from article at:
Evicting tenants from foreclosed homes - Feb. 18, 2010
Love ya'. Try to have a good weekend. :day6
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 285
Damn that rocky road of unexpected events. It sucks.
There may be some strong positive in this...
A chance to declutter
A better home next time
The chance to practicing to ask for support form others
If you do have to move that doesn't have to be a bad experience for your kids. you are not a bad mother if circumstances comploetely out of your control mean you have to move. Dont be so hard on yourself.
There may be some strong positive in this...
A chance to declutter
A better home next time
The chance to practicing to ask for support form others
If you do have to move that doesn't have to be a bad experience for your kids. you are not a bad mother if circumstances comploetely out of your control mean you have to move. Dont be so hard on yourself.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Don't know what your HP has in mind for you, but after all you have gone thru...It must be a real doozy.
Keep on plugging away, and remember each step you take, is another step closer to what you want and where you want to be.
God bless
Keep on plugging away, and remember each step you take, is another step closer to what you want and where you want to be.
God bless
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
I emailed my landlord, explaining that I wasn't really listening when she called and here's what she mailed back:
One of my sisters is up in arms, demanding I "sue" her because I've been paying the rent and she hsn't been paying the mortgage, but I have no anger or blame for this woman.She has one handicapped daughter, and the other (16) just had a baby that my landlord is caring for. She's always only been kind to me.
I"m going to try to save money, pare down my belongings to as little as possible and just try to be grateful.
Hi Transformie
I've heard it could take 6 months for them to sort through this, so it may be that without anything else, you would stay until the end of the lease anyway. Beyond that, the bank may be willing to allow you to stay until they find a buyer - if you start paying them rent at some point, that money would be like a mortgage payment to them until they sell it. I can't imagine that it would be easy for them to sell it just like that - partially because there are other houses in the neighborhood that are being sold the same way and also because there would have to be some repairs made (like the roof & the furnace) - I think it would take time to sell it, unless they're willing to let it go for next to nothing. I will talk to the bank next week and see what they can tell me & of course, I will let you know as soon as I know anything. I don't think the worst case scenario of 2 months will happen. I hate the fact that you have to worry about this. Try not to worry until I talk to the bank next week and we have a better picture.
I've heard it could take 6 months for them to sort through this, so it may be that without anything else, you would stay until the end of the lease anyway. Beyond that, the bank may be willing to allow you to stay until they find a buyer - if you start paying them rent at some point, that money would be like a mortgage payment to them until they sell it. I can't imagine that it would be easy for them to sell it just like that - partially because there are other houses in the neighborhood that are being sold the same way and also because there would have to be some repairs made (like the roof & the furnace) - I think it would take time to sell it, unless they're willing to let it go for next to nothing. I will talk to the bank next week and see what they can tell me & of course, I will let you know as soon as I know anything. I don't think the worst case scenario of 2 months will happen. I hate the fact that you have to worry about this. Try not to worry until I talk to the bank next week and we have a better picture.
I"m going to try to save money, pare down my belongings to as little as possible and just try to be grateful.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Wow! The difference between reacting and responding to this situation right there in your family. Look:
demanding I "sue" her because vs.
I"m going to try to save money, pare down my belongings to as little as possible and just try to be grateful
Your recovery is showing and you look Mah-Veh-Lussss! :ghug3
demanding I "sue" her because vs.
I"m going to try to save money, pare down my belongings to as little as possible and just try to be grateful
Your recovery is showing and you look Mah-Veh-Lussss! :ghug3
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Thank you Pelican. I guess I hasn't looked at it that a way.
I"m fighting feeling like a looser. Why cant' I have stability? wtf? I believe we create our own situations. What am I suppose to be learning that I haven't?
I"m fighting feeling like a looser. Why cant' I have stability? wtf? I believe we create our own situations. What am I suppose to be learning that I haven't?
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Someone on SR (wiser than I) told me:
Be patient, more will be revealed
I am usually amazed when the "more" is revealed. That is where embracing uncertainty comes into my recovery. My limited experience only forsees certain outcomes, but my unlimited future can reveal untold options when I wait for them to be revealed.
Hope you can stay in the moment this weekend. Enjoy your day and wait for more to be revealed next week.
Be patient, more will be revealed
I am usually amazed when the "more" is revealed. That is where embracing uncertainty comes into my recovery. My limited experience only forsees certain outcomes, but my unlimited future can reveal untold options when I wait for them to be revealed.
Hope you can stay in the moment this weekend. Enjoy your day and wait for more to be revealed next week.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
I am so thankful for our recovery tools......trusting God, not reacting, making a gratitude list, and talking to other recovering friends. God has a plan for you down the road. I have moved 2 times in the last 4 years because of XAH. I cleaned out the clutter, kept only stuff I loved, gave stuff to others who loved the stuff I didn't need.....(Salvation Army). It feels great to downsize. As a kid when we moved I always adjusted pretty well. When you have to move maybe you can keep your kids in the same area. God has the plan. I am glad you have more time to figure this out. At least your life is calming down in other ways not living with X. I live a boring, calm, and no crazy/ick , chaos /alkie, upsetting life. Moving was an inconvenience but I like the apt. I rent now. I am 5 minutes from everything in town. I used to live 22 miles out. I have a little garden where I love growing my own food. I have a house to sell and another to buy so I have not finished moving but it is ok. God will find me a house.....no rush....in this market nothing is moving fast. FEAR.....forgetting everything is alright.....
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