justtired

I'm wondering if anyone has any advise on how to find a good counselor who specializes in helping the loved-ones of addicts. I've been thinking that I might like to find a new counselor. The one I have was okay in the beginning because I just needed to talk and get it all out. Now that I feel more stuck in my situation and need a boost and some insight, I don't feel like I'm getting the help I need. I would like to talk to someone who understands addiction, but I guess I'm not sure where to look. Right now I'm going to a guy through one of the local hospitals. It feels very... um... hospitally and I don't really care for it. Plus, I told them I wanted to talk to someone regarding dealing with a loved one in addiction and they gave me this guy who doesn't seem to know much about addiction. Any suggestions on how to go about finding a good counselor?

Chino

I found my therapist through my daughter's therapist and her psychiatrist. Addiction and family therapy are his bread and butter.

Try calling a local rehab or detox and they might be able to give you a few referrals. The most important thing I learned to look for were these abbreviations: PhD, MSW, LCSW and MFT.

BayAreaPhoenix

Hi! My experience with therapists are about the only place I've always felt "strong". Maybe because I've always paid out of pocket. Over the years I've had to say goodbye to therapists, and some of them tried to pull doozy of "guilt" trips about it - but I knew what I knew and I didn't look back (ah, if I could only have applied that in other aspects of my life at the time!!! LOL )

I live in a small town, and proportionately we have a lot of therapists and most not so good. I was fortunate that in my being open to discussing looking for a therapist with people around me, several suggested the one I went to. I do think she helped me a lot, even tho she didn't have a lot of experience in addiction necessarily - but when she was young, she survived two "dumb" marriages (now in a 26 year marriage and going strong) - but she made it through many of the same behaviors most of us dealing with addiction do. She also had "common sense" and was not judgemental and left the door open for me to come back to her whenever (ifever) I felt the need, with no guilt!!!!

If you can, ask around. Also call around and ask to interview different therapists - many will. Ask questions. If any one of them tries to make you feel less than, uncomfortable or anything of the sort during the interview, walk away and don't look back!!!! Just because they're a therapist doesn't mean they're "healthy" themselves - many (too many) are not. If you choose one that doesn't feel right to you, then walk away. It's good for therapists to help you unlock uncomfortable places, so I don't mean that, I mean uncomfortable as in they're not getting it or it's about them or something else that just isn't working.

Good luck!

coffeedrinker

and sometimes you just don't "click" with the therapist. this is valid.

BBD

I have been to 3 different counselors and the best one was an addiction counselor that usually worked with the addict. maybe call your mental Health Dept and they can set you up. She really understood the addict vs my codepentantcy (sp) and within visits had helped me so much. That and this site have been my savior.. Good luck and remember to visit here often..Smiles, Bonnie

Ann

I agree, that it's important that you click with your counselor and that doesn't always happen.

My first counselor's response to almost everything I said was "deal with it and get over it". Helpful she was not!

I shopped around and had a brief introductory visit (lasted less than 10 minutes and for which I was not charged) that led me to a terrific counselor who was familiar with addiction personally as well as professionally.

Good luck, it's worth the search to find a good one.

Hugs

aah1977

I think finding a good therapist has a lot to do with actually meeting them. The very first one I went to I just clicked with. I ended up stopping last year when my husband got back from rehab because money was really tight and he was seeing her once a week. I have since seen a few others and haven't clicked with any. Now that my H isn't seeing her anymore I was thinking of seeing if she would see me again. I really think that being able to click with the person is extremely important.